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How to be the bigger person?

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#11 JennyK

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  • 3,502 posts

    Posted 20 March 2008 - 07:51 PM

    Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108
    Our wedding was planned first (got engaged in March) but she wanted a holiday weekend and didn't want to wait longer than a year so they chose this Memorial Day weekend.

    My shower was supposed to be at 12 or 1 at a nice restaurant with a private room, but hers is at 3 so they bumped mine up to brunch so everyone would have time to leave mine, go home and get changed, and be at the country club by 2:20-3.

    I'm just tired of sharing everything for the wedding and it's not fair to either of us. Some of the family has already said they would just bring our gifts to their wedding! WTF!

    FI gets mad at me because he is so protective of his family. They are all a little crazy and you can't say anything negative about them or he gets super defensive. Constructive criticism doesn't work either. Our biggest fight is the "you need to cut the f-ing cord" discussion.

    I'd be ok with most of this but I feel like they are the ones blowing things out of proportion or making things more difficult. (Seriously, would you not check before you scheduled a shower?)

    I'm just venting! I vow to never live closer than 6 hours away from those people! I don't think my sanity can take it!
    What makes you any less important than her? I don't get it.. they're walking all over you and your FI seems to allow it if he's getting defensive. You are going to be his wife, he needs to have his family respect you for pete's sake.

    #12 Yari

    • VIP Member
    • 10,928 posts

      Posted 21 March 2008 - 12:32 AM

      This just blows!

      Is she going to your shower? How rude to have her shower after yours. I just don't get it. How does anything think it is okay?

      #13 Mel

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      • 141 posts

        Posted 21 March 2008 - 01:10 AM

        To me, it seems like she is super jealous of your ideas and wedding and it is killing her that you might be the bigger center of attention than her. Like someone else said...kill her with kindness...and make sure that you share your beautiful wedding day pictures and watch her face. I bet it would be classic!!!

        I know how bad it suxs to not have family coming. Some of mine are refusing to come because I am not getting married in the Catholic church, not because it would cost them money or it is far away, but because it is "not right in God's eyes" It doesn't make any sense, if your FBIL's wedding is where they live anyway, why would it be a problem to go to yours? Not like it would cost them any money to go to FBILs and they wouldn't have to take time off of work to go to it either, so if they were going to go originally and are not now, what's the problem?

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