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Uninvited Guest - the question once again

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#1 nylalany

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    Posted 15 March 2008 - 11:47 AM

    A guy friend of my fiance, who is already rooming with another mutual friend of theirs, is also being joined by a female coworker for their vacation. They are not romantically involved - he is actually dating someone else, but the coworker has 2 kids at home and just "needed a vacation". Now he is asking if she can come to the wedding, and my FI said he'd ask me if there is room.

    My due date for giving numbers and seating chart was yesterday, although my coordinator kind of extended it until tomorrow since I didn't finish my seating chart.

    It is costing us $150 per head just for food and drink, and this girl isn't really even his date. I cut out other friends from my invite list just because the venue only fits 104 chairs and also of course to save my family $ (we are pretty much at the limit). However, I don't want to be completely rude to my FI's friend.


    #2 rodent


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      Posted 15 March 2008 - 11:57 AM

      I think he asked because he wants to know if it's a problem. It sounds like it is so just be honest. I would tell him you already turned in your seting chart.

      #3 nylalany

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        Posted 15 March 2008 - 12:30 PM

        Yeah I guess if I decide so, that would be the right thing to say. I guess I have to decide how I feel vs. what I feel is proper.

        #4 mexicobrideIndiana

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          Posted 15 March 2008 - 01:27 PM

          This is ridiculous. Just tell this guy that your numbers have already been turned in and there isn't anything you can do about adding another person. I have had some people "invite themselves" to our wedding also and I think it is rude. Especially when you are cutting people that you would like to be there already.

          #5 Saraha

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            Posted 15 March 2008 - 01:30 PM

            HMMM That is a lot of money for someone you are not wanting to go. What if you talk to him let him know of the situation. I am sure her would understand.

            #6 StephanieMN

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              Posted 15 March 2008 - 01:33 PM

              I guess I would no longer worry about "proper" it isn't proper , IMO, to ask that a stranger be invited to someone elses wedding. I guess guys tend to not take stuff as personally as girls do so I would just say that due to financial restrictions you are not able to extend her an invite.

              Oh and one more thing--I don't think I would even know (before doing a wedding) how much it would cost to throw one more person in there so that might have not crossed his mind.

              #7 Agape Gems

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                Posted 15 March 2008 - 02:01 PM

                I am sure that a single guy has NO IDEA how much a reception costs. If he knew it would cost you $150 I bet he would never have even asked. However, I wouldn't tell him thats why she can't come, I would just say the final head count has been given and can't be adjusted.
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                #8 Debs

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                  Posted 15 March 2008 - 02:04 PM

                  Well if she's just down there to 'get away' I don't think she would mind fending for herself for one night.

                  I'd say TBSS (too bad so sad) we are all full up.


                  #9 nylalany

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                    Posted 15 March 2008 - 02:23 PM

                    yeah - i have a feeling that if he knew how much it is costing us he wouldn't have asked but it would be too weird to tell him that, so i guess i'll tell my FI to say the numbers are already in. Thanks for your help!

                    #10 SASSYGIRL

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                      Posted 15 March 2008 - 02:26 PM

                      He asked because he wants to know the answer - tell him NO! and be greatful that he asked rather than just showed up with her! I am sure he wont care - he's a guy and thats a lot to spend for someone you don't care about being there!
                      Sarah's little girl-Isabella Nicole-10/31/08

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