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Suprise from FMIL is throwing off my whole "day of" plan!

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#11 Can'tHardlyWait

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    Posted 14 March 2008 - 11:21 AM

    Thanks for all the suggestions ladies...

    I would LOVE to hire two more people to help out, but my inlaws are paying for the entire wedding, so every additional thing is coming out of their pocket. I don't think I could tell my FMIL that she needs to hire 2 morepeople on top of what she is already spending. The money thing has been a really touchy issue for me throughout this whole planning process, bc as much as I love my inlaws, I cant talk to them the way I would with my own parents. I was thinking of paying for 2 more girls myself, but then I think FMIL might be offended... as if what she did wasn't good enough

    The other thing is, all the family that would be getting done is from FI's side (except for my mom). That means I would basically be telling FMIL that my bridesmaids are more important than her sister and mother. I talked to FI about it, and he agrees with me that the bridal party is more of a priority, but how do I say that to his mother?!?!

    I would just hate it if my BM's felt like they HAD to get their hair and makeup done at 9am to make me happy... if it was me, I would rather not get it done at all. I mean, who wants to worry about melting makeup all freakin day long!

    Everytime i think about this it makes me want to go:

    #12 JaimeLynne

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      Posted 14 March 2008 - 11:24 AM

      I think your FMIL will understand that the bridal party (i.e. actual bridesmaids) are very important. Plus grandmothers and older people like to get up early, right?! haha I wouldn't think it would be that big of an issue but I don't know your FMIL...

      ~ Jaime & Martin ~
      "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

      We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

      We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!

      #13 Agape Gems

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        Posted 14 March 2008 - 11:32 AM

        I think you should just explain the time issue to her. She should understand the basic fact that if you get your hair done 8 hours before the wedding, its not gonna look the same later and then thats just wasted money. Even though FMILs and MILs drive us crazy they are still women who understand hair, make-up, etc. I think if you showed her the timeline and maybe make her one of the first appointments she might understand the logistical issues with not having enough stylists.
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        #14 LisaW

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          Posted 14 March 2008 - 11:36 AM

          Do you think maybe your FI could talk to his mom? Maybe she has no idea about the timing complications and perhaps if he opened her eyes to that she'd be able to fix the situation?

          Not knowing any of you guys but always being one to give the benefit of the doubt, I'm thinking that maybe your FMIL did this to be a postivie treat and has no idea that in actually it is really more of a logistical nightmare than anything. Maybe him talking to her could help?

          #15 Can'tHardlyWait

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            Posted 14 March 2008 - 11:56 AM

            No question, her heart was definitely in the right place. When I tried to talk to her about it, I started off just asking if they gave her an idea of how long each girl would take. She told me that it could be anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour! AND, I dont know what these women were thinking, but they told her that they will decide the schedule on Saturday - THE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING - who will go when! I mean, how do you tell 16 people the day before the wedding when they are getting their hair and makeup done?!?! I didn't even know what to say - I mean, what if they decide that my MOH should go first at 830 am because of what she wants done. Um, no, someone who knows who everyone is should be deciding this AND I think it's soooooo wrong to only give people 24 hour notice that they might have to get up at 7am!

            Sorry to repeatedly vent about this... I know this isnt a HUGE deal compared to some other problems girls here face, but I just finished my "day of" schedule for the girls... it included pool/beach time, a brunch, etc...

            #16 Jenn3878

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              Posted 14 March 2008 - 12:44 PM

              That is so nice but hectic! Don't worry it will all work out! I personally don't think I would care what time I had to get my hair done if it was free! If it doesnt work for someone they can get theirs done elsewhere!

              #17 rodent


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                Posted 14 March 2008 - 12:55 PM

                What about only having the ladies do hair. To me getting your hair done is so much more important. I prefer to do my own makeup. Also, if the girls go with simple styles it will go much quicker. For a beach wedding, simple is great.

                #18 Yari

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                  Posted 14 March 2008 - 12:57 PM

                  Wow, I would really sit her down and tell her your concerns. She probably doesn't get why it would be a problem, until you spell it out for her. I would even go as far and say this...I have been thinking about your generous offer, but it will be nearly impossible to get 16 girls done in a timely fashion. Your son and I talked about this issue, since it has been stressing me out. I talk to your and we both agree that we are going to hire two hairdressers from Mexico to help.
                  If you approach it this way, you are solving the problem, but making her aware of it.

                  #19 jillhiggins

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                    Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:01 PM

                    Why don't you create a schedule and have time slots available. Mail it out and explain that your mother in law is graciously providing stylists. Let them know that if they would like to use them to simply email the time slot they would prefer and mention that it is first come first served as far as choosing times.

                    That would make the process very simple for you - and your bridesmaids could choose whether or not they want to take advantage of the generous offer. They have the ability to decide if the time would inconveniece them or not.

                    #20 Alyssa

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                      Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:05 PM

                      Galit -
                      why don't you tell FMIL a semi-truth?

                      tell her that you are so excited about the makeup and so are the BM's but b/c there are so many of them, they don't want to start getting ready that early in the AM so they are going to go to the Spa to get make up done.

                      tell her you are sad about this and you were thinking you and FI could pick up the cost to bring 2 girls from the SPA over to make it easier on the make up artists and so that everyone could get done in a more reasonable window of time

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