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LadyP

Have A Happy Period

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I think it was TammyB who vented about this before but what the hell is a happy period.... I mean come on.

 

I know Always wants us to purchase their products so that the girls in Africa can go to school because they have to miss school for the lack of sanitary products but come on HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD...

 

My cycle is only 3 days and I thank God I dont have cramps and get all emotional like most but Damn HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD

 

what is happy about

cramps

bloating

hormones raging out of control

eating anything or anyone that may cross your path

weight gains

these are just a few to come cross my mind.

 

 

Ok I digress I am sorry that commercial gets me everytime.

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Since I'm not TTC I'm happy when it arrives but that joy is diminished by all of the nasty stuff you mentioned above...LOL I have yet to feel happy about cramps!

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for that reason I too am glad to see it but the sound HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD IS LIKE would you like roaches with that. Just isnt pleasant

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Here are a few e-mail letters that you might find amusing:

 

An email to Feminine Products Providers

 

Dear Kotex,

 

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner

had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.

Annoying advice such as:

 

-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

 

-Avoiding caffeine

may help reduce cramps and headaches.

 

-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to

keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

 

-Try Kotex blah, blah, blah other products

 

Obviously the person behind this was someone who has

never possessed a functioning set of ovaries.

 

Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her

feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guarantee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

 

Look... females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful"

stuff like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many of which contain alcohol. Printing out advice while sneaking in

ads for the brand THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude and enough to

send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd

like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy stuff to your products

or the packaging. Put it in a plain brown wrapper so we can

throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer! There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.

 

The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of purchase. So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass. (Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're

doing it!)

 

Ovarily Yours,

 

Miss PMS

_______________________________

 

ACTUAL LETTER TO PROCTOR AND GAMBLE

 

This is a letter written to one of the top executives at Proctor and Gamble. Means a bit more to the gals than the guys.

 

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

 

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my ‘time of the month’ is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As Branch Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

 

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period".

 

"Are you f…..g kidding me?" What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

 

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep... Always.

 

Best,

 

Wendy Aarons

 

Austin TX

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LOL thats rhalarious!!! Yep those girls were def PMSing when they wrote those.. so funny....

Actually You will all think I am crazy BUT I AM HAPPY WHEN I GET MY PERIOD!!! For about two seconds then the PMS comes a knockin. After a couple scares I decided that Aunt Flo is ALWAYS welcome, sometimes I couldnt be happier to se her... Well right now at least!

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I'm on this crazy medication because my reproductive system hates me. So, technically right now, I'm in menopause. Not having cramps, bloating, spotting, etc. is worth the hot flashes! I really am ok with never having a period again! If I didn't want kiddos I'd be all about a hysterectomy!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 View Post
"Are you f…..g kidding me?" What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep... Always.

Best,

Wendy Aarons

Austin TX
OMG I'm in stitches...this Wendy Aarons lady is hilarious!!

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These are great. They remind me of the book Letters from a Nut.

 

I think I'm going to send these to all my girlfriends and tell them to read it when they need a laugh.

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Ohhhh I needed these....as I sit here at work trying to do anything other than think about the horrendous cramps that have entered my body as of this morning!!! hahahahaha

 

REALLY...Thanks for sharing!!!

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That' is a riot! I so needed that this morning!

 

...Put down the hammer...

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