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Do you ever feel like it's just not worth it?

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#31 lyrebard

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  • 229 posts

    Posted 10 March 2008 - 10:30 PM

    Originally Posted by BarefootBride
    Why dont you take some time away from wedding "stuff"? At least a week. There is no need to stress yourself or be stressed around your test taking probably stressed out too FI. Relax. I can assure you that an at home wedding is MUCH more work and stress than a DW.
    Okay, maybe I'll even take a week!

    Originally Posted by BarefootBride
    It does appear that you really want alot of people to go since your are funding so much! If logistics are a problem, I would suggest having a AHR so that the grandparents and family and friends who dont make it, can.
    That's a good idea, and something we're doing. In fact, we're planning to have a party on both coasts so that all family can come (big families on both sides!). Those don't seem as stressful at all. But since both my parents have passed away, my grandparents feel very strongly that there is no way they'll miss this. And I love them all the more for it.

    Originally Posted by BarefootBride
    I know you really want to please everyone but its time to step away from the ceremony wedding stuff and focus on what this is really about - You and Your husband. Make sure you two are taken care of first. I hate to see someone stressed out about 1 day of their life. Sometimes I get in this mode and I just have to walk away from it all.
    Nah, I'm not trying to please everyone. Instead I think I'm doing the opposite: trying to come to terms with the fact that the way I pictured it (group vacation!!) may not be the way it turns out. I'm not so stressed over a single day...more just about making sure all our friends have a wonderful time, and we have a great time with them. For us the hang-time with the people we love is just as important as the wedding itself. And that's why I think I've been feeling disappointed. But I know that it really will be a blast, no matter who ends up coming. And after a week away from all this overthinking, I'll be even more excited about it all. Yay.

    #32 antonia321

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      Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:10 PM

      If I had only known about this post 6 months ago, I swear I was the one writing it! But as I just joined and will be married in Playa del Carmen, Mexico at the end of this month, I can tell you the last month has been great! I'm getting more excited by the day and focusing more on all the wonderful people who are going out of their way to join us (and thanking us for putting everything together as an excuse to get out of town!) instead of the people that aren't. Lots of people have been calling and IM-ing also expressing similar excitement. And for those regrets, the gifts and cards have started to pile up! Its a temporary place that you are in. I think I was there for a good couple of months during the planning. We're also doing 2 celebration parties for our families back at home after Mexico.

      #33 majnooni

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      • 90 posts

        Posted 10 March 2008 - 11:16 PM

        Wow. I know exactly how you feel. I've been feeling a lot of the same things these last few weeks. I'm really wondering whether it was the right choice to do a DW out of the country. I am CONSTANTLY getting it from the FI "If you just had the wedding in DC ..." I about lost it this weekend with all the comments. (Can you say "Here comes bridezilla"?)

        I'm also disappointed at the lackluster response from friends. We had 75 people verbally say they would come so we chose the location based on that. One by one they all have reasons, some good, some not so good. We now have 30 people with maybe another 5-10 who haven't booked yet (and I'm not sure they will). 30 is very different from 75 so I'm revisiting some of our plans.

        Then there are the things that just happen ... My 91 year old grandmother who's never been sick and travels constantly suddenly got pneumonia and isn't recovering well. It wouldn't be smart to take her overseas. In fact, my aunt is now afraid to leave her alone and may cancel too.

        My FH's sister and another friend of mine are both pregnant with twins and can't travel. Another of my closest friends' father died earlier this year and she doesn't have any time off left. It just makes me sad that these people who I love won't be able to be there simply because of where we are having the wedding.

        I have to keep reminding myself that the decision is made and there is no point second guessing things. And I will love every minute once it arrives.

        #34 megansg

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        • 27 posts

          Posted 01 April 2008 - 12:19 AM

          Wow did I ever need to read that post tonight. I got two messages today about people not being able to come. I hate it! I have to admit I would hate it a lot less if it weren't for the fact that it seems most of HIS invitees can make it and most of mine can't. I know that is petty but it stings a bit.

          I don't think we are going to even have attendants because none of my close gf's are able to go. I know this is a big undertaking, and that I haven't given people tons of notice, and I expected a lot not to come, but there are more who can't come than expected. I'm having a bit of a pity party tonight.

          But tomorrow is another day and then I will remind myself that as long as HE and I are there, that is all that matters. As other people have said, what I am most excited about is being married to the man I love. The rest is all window dressing.

          Thanks for letting me vent!

          #35 lyrebard

          • Jr. Member
          • 229 posts

            Posted 02 April 2008 - 12:21 PM

            Originally Posted by megansg
            Wow did I ever need to read that post tonight. I got two messages today about people not being able to come. I hate it! I have to admit I would hate it a lot less if it weren't for the fact that it seems most of HIS invitees can make it and most of mine can't. I know that is petty but it stings a bit.!
            I'm so sorry about your friends, and so glad that you could find something that shows you you're not alone!

            If it makes you feel any better, I am getting through this and beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. Once the guestlist was set, I think it was easier to come to terms with however large or small our group was. (In the end, looks to be somewhere around 55 to 62 people.) And the people who ARE coming really are some of our favorite people ever — just knowing how amazing they are to come all the way down there for us...well, it's kinda heartwarming.

            And thanks to everyone else for the kind words of support. I think taking a week off (er, nearly two weeks, really!) was really helpful and allowed me to find some much-needed perspective. Sure, it meant that my planning went a bit awry, but in the long run, who's really paying attention? =)

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