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Ana

Catholic Marriage-Prep Course

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I don't agree with all of the teachings of the Church either. I went to Catholic elementary and highschool where we not only had to attend mass and so on on a weekly basis, but also had to take courses on religion. I don't think that if you attend mass, or live seperately before marriage, or wait to have kids until you are married, it means that you are any less spiritual or that you are less of a good person than someone who does abide by those rules. I kind of made some of those points clear at the meeting, but I don't think it went over too well. LOL! I don't even want to know what he will say when we tell him that we are doing just the 30min Marriage Rights instead of the whole mass for our wedding ceremony smile124.gif

 

I'm so glad that I'm able to share this with you guys and get some feedback to your experiences etc... smile03.gif

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Originally Posted by starchild View Post
We did the exact same thing, funny! The FOCCUS was so much more meaningful than we ever thought. And the one day class was really fun because the couple that led it was hilarious. There is something to be learned from this stuff so have fun with it.

BTW don't know how Canada is different, but here different parishes have different classes. They all count the same, and if you really want you could probably find a one day class. The first parish we contacted wanted us to attend 6 months of classes...we called the diocese who hooked us up with the one day course :)
sadly, the couple who was supposed to lead ours, the wife had to bail last minute because of some problem with their daughter, so our guy all alone was kinda boring. i think if his wife was there, it woulda been better. the other couples were nice, actually a bunch of them met online, or were like 45 and reconnected at their 20 yr HS reunions!

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Ask your diocese if they offer courses for convalidated couples. This is for people who either got married outside of the church and are now having a Catholic ceremony, or people who have never been married but already live together (like us). They are run differently because you are in a different place than people who have no idea what it's like to live together, it's a more mature/modern approach imo.

 

IMO if that priest gave you shit I would find another parish. God is love and if you are made to feel like sinners it doesn't help anything. The pastor who prepared us was awesome and very progressive. DH is not Catholic, I have sooooo many issues with the structure of the church. I think all religion pretty much sucks and your belief in God and the good you do is what matters. The pastor not only allowed us to express our grievances, but he pretty much agreed with us and said spirituality is individual for everyone. He made us feel 100% okay with how we feel and told us to take what we believed and leave the rest. I cannot stress how cool he was, and he completely changed DH's perspective on the Catholic church....and mine.

 

Amy, I'm glad you are enjoying your classes. We are so glad we did them, truly :)

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Originally Posted by Adinu View Post
I don't agree with all of the teachings of the Church either. I went to Catholic elementary and highschool where we not only had to attend mass and so on on a weekly basis, but also had to take courses on religion. I don't think that if you attend mass, or live seperately before marriage, or wait to have kids until you are married, it means that you are any less spiritual or that you are less of a good person than someone who does abide by those rules. I kind of made some of those points clear at the meeting, but I don't think it went over too well. LOL! I don't even want to know what he will say when we tell him that we are doing just the 30min Marriage Rights instead of the whole mass for our wedding ceremony smile124.gif

I'm so glad that I'm able to share this with you guys and get some feedback to your experiences etc... smile03.gif
i completely agree with you -- it doesnt matter how you choose to believe in god, it should just matter that you do. i dont like being told that the way i live my life is sinning. it's what works for me. it's totally, IMHO, stupid for the church to tell me i am a sinner for cohabitating in 2008.... im an adult, my FI is an adult, we can made adult decisions. i am not going from my parents home to my husbands like originally intended by the church. we have a much different reality. we live in a city where the cost of rent is also prohibitive to live in 2 decent sized apartments instead of one together. actually, you know my relationship has improved 10fold since we started living together. i only love him more every day, and i dont think its right for the church to tell me that the way im doing it is all wrong. sorry, a bit of a rant there.

you should really just leave out the fact that you're doing the 30 min thing to your local priest. he doesnt have to know. he's not the one marrying you, so his job is to make sure you are prepared for it and sign off on it when youre done with the requirements. its not his job to judge.

Quote:
Originally Posted by starchild View Post
Ask your diocese if they offer courses for convalidated couples. This is for people who either got married outside of the church and are now having a Catholic ceremony, or people who have never been married but already live together (like us). They are run differently because you are in a different place than people who have no idea what it's like to live together, it's a more mature/modern approach imo.

IMO if that priest gave you shit I would find another parish. God is love and if you are made to feel like sinners it doesn't help anything. The pastor who prepared us was awesome and very progressive. DH is not Catholic, I have sooooo many issues with the structure of the church. I think all religion pretty much sucks and your belief in God and the good you do is what matters. The pastor not only allowed us to express our grievances, but he pretty much agreed with us and said spirituality is individual for everyone. He made us feel 100% okay with how we feel and told us to take what we believed and leave the rest. I cannot stress how cool he was, and he completely changed DH's perspective on the Catholic church....and mine.

Amy, I'm glad you are enjoying your classes. We are so glad we did them, truly :)
jamy i agree with you the special class is more adult and modern, even though they do still really press stuff like the natural family planning. im glad you had such a great priest. my biggest regret is that the priest who is marrying us (FI's dear uncle jack) is not able to do all of our preparations with us because he's in New Orleans. He is very progressive and understanding like the priest you had and I think in the end we will be more comfortable knowing he doesnt think he's marrying a bunch of sinners! and i bet my FI wouldnt admit it to anyone else but me, but we are glad we did this too. cheesy.gif even if parts of it were not fun, we are glad our marriage will be blessed and accepted so when we have kids we can have them baptized, it makes our families happy etc etc etc

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Well, today is the big day! :) hehe! I just found out last night from a friend, that another couple she knows is going to be attending the same sessions as us. Apparently they're in the same living situation as us. I don't know why (of if its wrong of me) but I feel soooo much better and more relieved knowing that we're not going to be the only "black sheep" in that group. lol! I'll keep you all posted on how it goes :)

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So yesterday night we went for our Marriage Prep course. It was totally different than what I thought it would be like. 1st of all it was a huge class, with 38 couples! It was more of a lecture-style class than anything. We had two men talk to us about their experience with marriage and then Father Dion said a few words. We didn't have to do a FOCCUS test or anything, we were a tad disappointed actually because the night before we went online and found a bunch of practice questions from it...so felt really prepared lol! I guess it doesn't really sound so good to that we were trying to cheat smile27.gifbut we didn't want to get ragged on yet again. Anyways, we got the impression that they were just trying to get us to open up and talk to eachother, and also to learn from other people's experience. So I'm actually really excited to go home tonight, grab a bottle of wine friday.gif and do the homework with my FI. I almost feel a little bit silly for thinking it might be this horrible experience sad.gif

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Hello Ana-Maria!

 

I see you're from Vancouver. We did our marriage prep 3-saturday classes at St. Patrick's Church. It was informative, someday fun, someday boring...hehehe. Overall, it's a positive thing for us.

 

WE are doing Dreams too but Cancun. How did you arrange your reception back at the resort? I need advice on that one.

 

I am wondering as well...are you doing your civil wedding before mexico? We have that dilemma right now. Let me know what you and your fiance are planning.

 

Thanks!

-p-

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We have to start our classes soon too. The priest told us we either had the 6 months of classes option &/or we could do this weekend retreat thing. I haven't heard about any one day courses... but I will definitely ask. I'm not catholic, but FI is, so I have to admit I'm pretty scared about this whole weekend retreat. I have this mental image of them separating us (which you know they won't let us stay together) into these "boys" and "girls" cabins. We also are living together, but I am going to try to avoid that question at all costs!! I glad to know that you all didn't find the classes to terrible .. I'll let you know how ours go. FI called once to schedule something a few months ago and the priest told him to call back in Feb. and he STILL hasn't called him back although I remind him to about once a week. If it really does take 6 months then the clock is ticking....

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Originally Posted by spammie76 View Post
Hello Ana-Maria!

I see you're from Vancouver. We did our marriage prep 3-saturday classes at St. Patrick's Church. It was informative, someday fun, someday boring...hehehe. Overall, it's a positive thing for us.

WE are doing Dreams too but Cancun. How did you arrange your reception back at the resort? I need advice on that one.

I am wondering as well...are you doing your civil wedding before mexico? We have that dilemma right now. Let me know what you and your fiance are planning.

Thanks!
-p-

I dealt directly with the wc at dreams plus I hired an outside coordinator as well. We decided to get legally married in Canada about a month before we actually go so we didn't get an actual package for the wedding. We picked everything separately including the cake, dj, photographer etc... its basically like we'd have had the wedding here...lol! Dreams Cabo is super accommodating and you can do pretty much whatever you want. They only charged us the $28 pp set up fee. I called the coordinator at the resort and she booked the terrace for us for the desired time. The rest is being set up by the outside wc.

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