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Opt out of reception?


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#41 LadyCheese

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    Posted 03 March 2008 - 11:17 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LALA
    I had a friend get married on a mountaintop in shorts and hiking boots with just 4 people there. The "reception" was the hike down.
    That was their idea of a perfect wedding.
    I didn't want that. I wanted more of a traditional reception.

    There is nothing wrong with either option. Your wedding is just that...yours. You know your guests. My guests expected a reception so I provided one. I wanted it to be private. That is how we got our wedding. If your guests and desires are different, only you know that.
    I think you said it best, only you know your guests and their desires and what they expect. If you communicate to your guests before hand (or state it on the invite) that there will be just an informal dinner or semi-private and no traditional reception (music, party, etc) then they know what they will be attending. My guests expect a reception, thats just tradition for us and I'm fine with that--its what I want as well. And if it wasnt what I wanted, I would make sure my guests know that so no one is blindsighted. Best of luck in making your decision

    #42 Agape Gems

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      Posted 03 March 2008 - 11:20 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Morgan
      can a mod just delete my posts in this thread.
      LOL! IMHO, the whole point of a forum is to express different ideas. Everyone just needs to respect each others opinions and not get bent out of shape And all recognize that you can't interpret someones tone in text. I hope they don't delete your posts b/c another bride in the same position may find this a year from now and be happy to see other views. Ok, off my soap box- carry on....
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      #43 starchild

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        Posted 03 March 2008 - 11:22 PM

        [QUOTE=twelve_piece;286392]
        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Morgan
        can a mod just delete my posts in this thread. QUOTE]

        LOL! IMHO, the whole point of a forum is to express different ideas. Everyone just needs to respect each others opinions and not get bent out of shape And all recognize that you can't interpret someones tone in text. I hope they don't delete your posts b/c another bride in the same position may find this a year from now and be happy to see other views. Ok, off my soap box- carry on....
        I like you on your soap box...haha Well said :)

        #44 LCBride2007

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          Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:11 AM

          I won't be deleting anyone's posts - IMO this has been a thoughtful, passionate, and well thought out discussion. No harm done! Everyone has different opinions - and as long as they're shared in a respectful way, which I think is happening here, that's valueable, and one of the benefits of the forum. Just because we all may not agree, doesn't mean we don't like or respect eachother.

          Ok, I'm now stepping of my soap box! lol

          #45 Kat81

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            Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:24 AM

            IMO I think people don't expect a reception of any shape or form and a reception isn't a way to show appreaciation. It is a chance for people that truely love you to share in your joys of becoming man and wife. Whether that is an organized function such as a private reception or a trip to the bar to party down. It's YOUR wedding. Do what you want to and the ones that truely want to be there and share your special day will do so even if it includes going out to the beach and playing catch lol. It will all come together in the end no matter what anyone decides. Don't stress out about any of it. ITS YOUR DAY.

            #46 rodent

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              Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:50 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Kat81
              IMO I think people don't expect a reception of any shape or form and a reception isn't a way to show appreaciation. It is a chance for people that truely love you to share in your joys of becoming man and wife. Whether that is an organized function such as a private reception or a trip to the bar to party down. It's YOUR wedding. Do what you want to and the ones that truely want to be there and share your special day will do so even if it includes going out to the beach and playing catch lol. It will all come together in the end no matter what anyone decides. Don't stress out about any of it. ITS YOUR DAY.
              Yes, this is exactly what I'm saying. I'm not saying having a reception is a bad thing by any means. I'm saying that people who don't have one are not being inconsiderate of their guests or are not showing them they care. We'd all love to do everything we can for our guests. But, there are limits. And if someone makes that limit to not have a reception it doesn't mean they are inconsiderate or are not thankful of their guests flying to the wedding.

              I understand giving the opinion of "I wouldn't like to go to a DW & not have a reception." Totally valid opinion. What upsets me is if someone says you owe your guests a reception for making the trip. This opinion has been expressed many times on the forum. I am totally not against people having this opinion. A great thing about a forum is seeing all the different opinions out there. It wouldn't be that useful if everyone just agreed. But, I just wanted to emphasize the option of cutting out a reception & not having to feel like you are mistreating your guests. I don't want people who are considering not having a reception to feel pressured into it because they think they will be letting their guests down. And I do think this happens. People start off with an idea of how they want their DW & then feel pressure to make it bigger than they originally planned.

              #47 rodent

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                Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:53 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by AnnR
                I won't be deleting anyone's posts - IMO this has been a thoughtful, passionate, and well thought out discussion. No harm done! Everyone has different opinions - and as long as they're shared in a respectful way, which I think is happening here, that's valueable, and one of the benefits of the forum. Just because we all may not agree, doesn't mean we don't like or respect eachother.

                Ok, I'm now stepping of my soap box! lol
                I only said this because I felt like I had offended some people & made people angry. I'd rather just erase that I ever said anything. I really don't like to argue.

                #48 Kat81

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                  Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:53 AM

                  I am having a reception because I want to lol not for my guests. I always wanted one and I always wanted to do the dance and the cake and all the old fashioned crap lol.. but its all for me don't let it fool you HA HA

                  #49 rodent

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                    Posted 04 March 2008 - 12:57 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Kat81
                    I am having a reception because I want to lol not for my guests. I always wanted one and I always wanted to do the dance and the cake and all the old fashioned crap lol.. but its all for me don't let it fool you HA HA

                    Yes, I totally see this too. Some people want the center pieces, cake cutting, etc. This is why I think the reception/ no reception needs to stick to what the bride & groom want and maybe what their family wants, but not what is expected of you.

                    Maybe it wasn't said a lot in this post, but it is said a lot on the forum that you should do blank because guests are paying to come. The big thing is that I think what fills in the blank varies a lot for each wedding. I don't always think it's the same thing.

                    OK I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing me talk. Sorry again for posting so much.

                    #50 TammyWright

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                    Posted 04 March 2008 - 01:02 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by amyh
                    however, our guests are attending our wedding and I want them to have a great time.
                    that is how i felt...if they were gonna spend the $$ and vacation time to be with us i was gonna make it worth it.
                    • sailing/snorkel trips
                    • spa day
                    • deep sea fishing
                    • atv
                    • mexican fiesta welcome dinner
                    • brunch with the married couple

                    they could choose to do as much or little as they wanted..

                    but the flip side of it...i didnt get the fantastic, expensive cake or the expensive flowers or lounge set up or fireworks...i had to choose to fit my budget.

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