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Any one else NOT changing their last name?


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#51 cessyboston

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    Posted 27 February 2008 - 12:40 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dbld78
    pazoop.....gracefully put! i found myself getting heated in my almost "defense" of my decision to not change my name and you summed it up wonderfully!

    thank you!
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Morgan
    I don't think anyone on here feels you need defend your decision. But it is interesting to hear how people came to their decision. Not to defend it, but just to let us know why. It's cool to hear all the different options for names.

    Most of us who said we are changing said we are doing it because we don't care for or are not attached to our last name. I don't think there are many ladies on a destination wedding forum that are so old school they can't understand why a woman would keep her last name.

    I also think it's nice to hear that from some of the ladies that are keeping their names that they don't judge those who aren't. In my field women tend to keep their names. I don't want people to think it makes me less independent to change. But, I think most women would drop my name if given the opportunity so they probably understand.

    When my parents got divorced I actually wanted to join my mom with having her maiden name because it was a cool name. I guess I've never really had stong principals on last names. I just want a good on that's easy to pronounce preferably in the front of the alphabet :)

    very well said morgan.....for me my last name does not mean anything to me..i am adopted by my stepdad so for me my last name does not mean anything (we have no relationship) so i am so honored to take donnies last name but for the woman whos name does i think it is so personal and i respect your decision but no one should be defensive...and i dont remember reading anything that said that you should be.
    Married oct 10th 2008 ~ proud parents to Miss Sophia Emma feb 2, 2010

    #52 KellyandMatt08

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      Posted 27 February 2008 - 12:44 AM

      I'm not sure what I am doing yet. I like my FULL name (including middle name), I've grown up being called Kelly Lynn because of the multitude of Kellys in my neighborhood. When people ask my name they now that I am Irish (Kelly McC...) and I am really proud of that. FI is irish as well (red hair, freckles, and all) but has a german last name. I don't know if I am willing to give up on all of my irishness. LOL I was thinking about taking my last name as a second middle, but I'm not sure how confusing that may be when asked or to fill out forms.

      #53 rodent

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        Posted 27 February 2008 - 01:26 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by cessyboston
        very well said morgan.....for me my last name does not mean anything to me..i am adopted by my stepdad so for me my last name does not mean anything (we have no relationship) so i am so honored to take donnies last name but for the woman whos name does i think it is so personal and i respect your decision but no one should be defensive...and i dont remember reading anything that said that you should be.
        Yep, I think for most of us it's coming down to our own personal situation more than being traditional or not. Not even personal preference really. If I was about 3 years farther along in my career & liked my last name I'd hold on to that sucker.

        One last name I would never change to is Morgan. I was always worried about falling in love with a Blank Morgan and being Morgan Morgan. I didn't even care to get to know guys with the last name Morgan.

        #54 Pazoop

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          Posted 27 February 2008 - 01:52 AM

          Danielle - I'm glad you liked what I had to say. Thanks! And I also agree with the other comments that there is no reason feel defensive about any decision either way, but I do understand how other situations (outside of BWD) can make you feel that way and it's hard to put those aside.

          I was going back over the posts and thinking as I was reading all the different points of view that just being able to have this conversation is a sort of feminist statement because we are all talking about making a choice one way or the other with respect to our names. And I know I may have read this the wrong way and misinterpreted - but there was an earlier post about a husband who changed his last name to his wife's and the assumption was the guy had to have a bad last name to begin with to have done so. Respectfully, I disagree that was necessarily the case, and even if it were, it is still commendable that the guy was brave enough to be that progressive knowing that he will in all likelihood be teased by friends and strangers. It does take people like to push the boundaries of tradition and allow all of us to have this open conversations and ultimately make our own choices to change/hyphenate/keep names – whatever our reasons might be (and they’re all good reasons either way). Again, I may have misread the so my apologies if I misunderstood. I just wanted to share my take on what I know can be a sensitive subject.
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          #55 JaimeLynne

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            Posted 27 February 2008 - 02:01 AM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by KellyandMatt08
            I'm not sure what I am doing yet. I like my FULL name (including middle name), I've grown up being called Kelly Lynn because of the multitude of Kellys in my neighborhood. When people ask my name they now that I am Irish (Kelly McC...) and I am really proud of that. FI is irish as well (red hair, freckles, and all) but has a german last name. I don't know if I am willing to give up on all of my irishness. LOL I was thinking about taking my last name as a second middle, but I'm not sure how confusing that may be when asked or to fill out forms.
            I'm really proud of my middle and last names too. My middle name, Lynne, is my deceased mother's name. And my last name, Miller, I associate so much with my Dad's side of the family whom I adore. I had always planned on changing my last name but FI's last name is Lopez and my name is spelled J-A-I-M-E like "Hi-me". Living here in TX that would just be incredibly frustrating... Plus I'm white with freckles hahaha Even funnier is I speak Spanish and he doesn't.

            What would I go by socially though? I use my first and last name for business quite a bit and I think it would be quite a mouthful to constantly say "Hi, I'm Jaime Miller-Lopez" (I work at an art gallery and on big show nights I could introduce myself this way 200 times). Plus I work representing my father's art which is another reason I'd like to keep my maiden name in there.

            ~ Jaime & Martin ~
            "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

            We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

            We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!


            #56 Dbld78

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              Posted 27 February 2008 - 02:41 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Pazoop
              Danielle - I'm glad you liked what I had to say. Thanks! And I also agree with the other comments that there is no reason feel defensive about any decision either way, but I do understand how other situations (outside of BWD) can make you feel that way and it's hard to put those aside.

              I was going back over the posts and thinking as I was reading all the different points of view that just being able to have this conversation is a sort of feminist statement because we are all talking about making a choice one way or the other with respect to our names. And I know I may have read this the wrong way and misinterpreted - but there was an earlier post about a husband who changed his last name to his wife's and the assumption was the guy had to have a bad last name to begin with to have done so. Respectfully, I disagree that was necessarily the case, and even if it were, it is still commendable that the guy was brave enough to be that progressive knowing that he will in all likelihood be teased by friends and strangers. It does take people like to push the boundaries of tradition and allow all of us to have this open conversations and ultimately make our own choices to change/hyphenate/keep names – whatever our reasons might be (and they’re all good reasons either way). Again, I may have misread the so my apologies if I misunderstood. I just wanted to share my take on what I know can be a sensitive subject.

              thank you! i found myself becoming heated....i guess because to me it's such an important thing and i do believe that my identity (to some extent) is my name and maybe i misread but i was beginning to feel like my passion for the issue was being chalked up as silly. but like i said maybe i misread, and i do apologize if i offended anyone.

              #57 sisterofthebrideerica

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                Posted 27 February 2008 - 03:07 AM

                I hyphonated my last name and have a few reasons why. My father doesn't have any sons and I didn't want our last name to "die out" In my Womans Studies class at Cal State Long Beach I learned that the letters "Mrs." meant belonging to, when woman used to be property of their husbands. It was at that moment I knew I would hyphonate. I'm not a feminist or anything like that, I just wanted to keep that part of my identity. I was very fortunate that my husband (my FI at the time) was very supportive of my decision.

                #58 rodent

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                  Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:16 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by sisterofthebrideerica
                  I hyphonated my last name and have a few reasons why. My father doesn't have any sons and I didn't want our last name to "die out" In my Womans Studies class at Cal State Long Beach I learned that the letters "Mrs." meant belonging to, when woman used to be property of their husbands. It was at that moment I knew I would hyphonate. I'm not a feminist or anything like that, I just wanted to keep that part of my identity. I was very fortunate that my husband (my FI at the time) was very supportive of my decision.
                  Like Mr's? Ewww! I don't like that at all! But, I feel like the definitions of words evolve over time & Mrs=Mr's is way outdated. If you hyphenate are you Ms.? I've always prefered Ms to Miss. Miss sounds like a little girl to me. At the DMV they told me I couldn't pick Ms if I hadn't been married before. I always thought of Ms as an option for not wanting to be Miss or Mrs. I'm excited to be Dr. eventually & just drop all the Miss, Mrs, Ms stuff.

                  #59 katrina

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                    Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:42 AM

                    i'm with morgan on all of this.

                    i'm the only one in my immediate family with my last name anyway and it's been that way since i was little. so if i'm going to continue to have a different last name than my parents', it may as well be because i'm taking my hubby's.

                    #60 rodent

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                      Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:47 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by katrina
                      i'm with morgan on all of this.

                      i'm the only one in my immediate family with my last name anyway and it's been that way since i was little. so if i'm going to continue to have a different last name than my parents', it may as well be because i'm taking my hubby's.
                      Do you also have an easy picked on by school children last name, too?
                      When I substitute taught I went by "Ms. Morgan." The kids would always ask what my first name was, but I wouldn't tell them.




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