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Any one else NOT changing their last name?

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112 replies to this topic

#41 Dbld78

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    Posted 26 February 2008 - 04:02 PM

    Originally Posted by gkashmira
    I did not change my name and I don't plan on it either!
    love your answer.....no justification needed!

    for some reason i feel like everyone needs a reason for WHY you're not going to change your name, and look at you like there's something wrong with you. it doesn't change my commitment to the marriage if i don't change my name, we're equal, it's a partnership!

    this subject makes me heated! maybe i should refrain from commenting further....ahahaha!

    #42 LCBride2007


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      Posted 26 February 2008 - 05:56 PM

      Also: http://bestdestinati...com/forum/t8719

      #43 nenamono

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        Posted 26 February 2008 - 10:30 PM

        Originally Posted by gkashmira
        I did not change my name and I don't plan on it either!
        Your answer is the best, simple and direct, it put a smile on my face.

        #44 Melissa G

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          Posted 26 February 2008 - 11:30 PM

          I am the only one in this situation probably - but he is taking my last name!! I am so excited to keep my last name and I think he is excited about it too. He has not seen his father since he was a baby and doesnt know anyone on that side of the family, so we don't know anyone with his last name. Since it doesn't have a meaning to him, like mine does to me he agreed to take my last name. I am very excited about that and lucky he is willing to be untraditional!

          #45 Pazoop

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            Posted 26 February 2008 - 11:33 PM

            I'm not changing my last name. I am with Michelle - my FI wouldn't dream of changing his name to mine so for the sake of tradition I am supposed to give up my name for his? I thought about hyphenating briefly but realized that I didn't want his name to come after mine -- so I guess my decision really is absolutely about sticking to my feminist principles. I totally understand the reverse though - my BF is getting married in Aug and is changing her name. I think it's fantastic how excited she is to become a Mrs. She says it will make her feel really married and "grown up" and I totally hear that!

            While my FI was not thrilled with the idea that I wasn't taking his name at first, he's come around. This decision isn't really so inconsistent with the rest of me so I'm almost surprised he didn't anticipate it. Part of what made it easier for him to accept is that I'm fine with our children having his last name. I've figured out a happy medium there between hyphenating and not doing anything. What I actually want to do is what my parents did...I have two middle names...My "normal" middle name and my mother's maiden name. Sort of like an unhyphenated combination of my parents' names.
            Julia Middle Maiden Lastname instead of Julia Middle Maiden-Lastname
            On all my school report cards, diplomas, legal documents, etc. my mother's name/family is represented but on a day to day basis I don't have to say a long mouthful in order to tell people who I am.

            It's a sticky issue and one that each couple has to work out for themselves. The only thing I would say is that I think it's drilled so deeply into men's brains that the wife takes their name that anything else seems like a "personal" rejection of them and it can take a while for them to adjust to the idea and see it from a different point of view.

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            #46 DreamsTulumBride

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            Posted 26 February 2008 - 11:38 PM

            I didn't ! In Quebec, you can't change your name, just add on your husband to yours... So opted not to add ans to just keep mine!

            #47 -Kate-

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              Posted 26 February 2008 - 11:39 PM

              I didn't change my name and don't plan on it. I don't mind if people call me that though. And I'm all for writing it/calling myself it if it helps make a situation easier - eg. dealing with bills, etc. I just didn't change it legally and don't go by it at work.
              I don't have any major feminist reason for doing so. I just don't see why I would. It's my name!

              #48 Dbld78

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                Posted 26 February 2008 - 11:40 PM

                pazoop.....gracefully put! i found myself getting heated in my almost "defense" of my decision to not change my name and you summed it up wonderfully!

                thank you!

                #49 rodent


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                  Posted 27 February 2008 - 12:27 AM

                  Originally Posted by Dbld78
                  pazoop.....gracefully put! i found myself getting heated in my almost "defense" of my decision to not change my name and you summed it up wonderfully!

                  thank you!
                  I don't think anyone on here feels you need defend your decision. But it is interesting to hear how people came to their decision. Not to defend it, but just to let us know why. It's cool to hear all the different options for names.

                  Most of us who said we are changing said we are doing it because we don't care for or are not attached to our last name. I don't think there are many ladies on a destination wedding forum that are so old school they can't understand why a woman would keep her last name.

                  I also think it's nice to hear that from some of the ladies that are keeping their names that they don't judge those who aren't. In my field women tend to keep their names. I don't want people to think it makes me less independent to change. But, I think most women would drop my name if given the opportunity so they probably understand.

                  When my parents got divorced I actually wanted to join my mom with having her maiden name because it was a cool name. I guess I've never really had stong principals on last names. I just want a good on that's easy to pronounce preferably in the front of the alphabet :)

                  #50 lyrebard

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                    Posted 27 February 2008 - 12:36 AM

                    It's so interesting to read all of these. When I was young, I never felt that attached to my last name. In fact, I thought it sounded kinda funny. But as I grew older, I began to think about how I was the last one left from my dad's side of the family with his name. Now, I can't imagine giving it up. It's nearly all I have left of my family, and I'm pretty attached to it, funny-sounding and all.

                    I have no problems with my partner's last name. But it's relatively common and, as a journalist, I like that I have a name that's relatively unique. As far as I know, I'm the only one out there with this name. I might take his last name as my middle name, but that's about as far as I'd go. Wonder if I can convince him to do the same with mine?

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