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Any one else NOT changing their last name?

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#31 Dbld78

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    Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:51 PM

    Originally Posted by jean-marcus
    here is the question i have for those that didnt change their last name (and had kids) ... what are the childrens last names?
    my children will have his last name. i have no problem with them taking his last name in that way i guess i'm traditional. and i have no problems having a different last name then my children.

    i would hope that my children grow up with the same sense of pride in their name that i feel. it really should be viewed as a compliment for our families (for those of us who aren't changing our names) because we are so proud of where we come from.

    #32 jean-marcus

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      Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:53 PM

      ya that all makes sense. was just curious to how couples handled that when they didnt take the same last name as their husband. :) see you do learn something new every day hehe

      #33 Rachelle E.

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        Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:54 PM

        When I was thinking of going that route I was going to hyphenate the kids' names when we had them so we were both represented. Poor little things, it's hard enough learning to spell one last name, they would have cursed me for giving them 13 letters and a hyphen...lol
        lol! Seriously though! I think I've said this before, but I grew up w/ a hyphenated name - due to divorced/remarried parents. (I'm sure Jean-Marcus remembers that from his thread! lol!) And honestly, it kind of sucked. people were always confused as to what they should call me, my name NEVER fit on any forms that I had to fill out for anything, people always asked lots of questions about it - which wasn't that big of a deal, but as a kid it sucks explaining over and over again "well, my parents got divorced, then my mom remarried, then...blah blah blah" Obviously that's a little different that just being born with a hyphenated name & parents that are still together. But just saying from a kid's perspective, that wasn't particularly great. Then again, that was 20+ years ago. maybe there's enough kids w/ different/hyphenated names now that it wouldnt' stand out so much?

        anyway, that's a big part of why I was more than happy to take DH's name. I was QUITE done with the hyphenating and explaining! lol! And granted, this is just my opinion, but I wouldn't hyphenate my kids names. It's a PITA to deal with and made me feel like an oddball when I was little. So even if you keep your own name or hyphenate, I strongly reccomend thinking about choosing one name for your kids if you plan to have any.

        #34 starchild



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          Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:01 PM

          Good point Rachelle!

          My mom gave me this cool middle name and as a kid I thought she was out of her mind because it has 2 capital letters and a hyphen, not to mention my last name starts lower case and has a space and a capital 3 letters into it....needless to say I always wished I was Ann Lee or something...haha I appreciate the creativity more now but damn!

          #35 jajajaja

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            Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:20 PM

            This topic is really hard for me. Initially I didn't want to change my name- not because I'm proud of where I come from (I don't even talk to my dad anymore) but more because it's my identity. I can't imagine my name as anything else. FI and I have talked about this and he, too, has become really insulted and hurt that I'm considering not taking his name. I've even tried to flip it on him and ask how he would feel after 30 years to change his name. Still doesn't get it.

            Eventually I think I will take his name. I don't want to upset him and it's not a battle I really want to fight that hard. I think I'll save the fight for other topics.
            Happily married since 2008

            #36 rodent


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              Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:38 PM

              It's really interesting to me that the decision to change or not doesn't really come down to being traditional or more progressive. For most of us it is about whether or not we like our current last name or our FI's better. If I liked my last name, I'd probably be more inclined to keep it. Also, if I was getting married 2-3 years from now I'd be more likely to keep it too because I'd have more publications with my name & will have built more of a professional name for myself.

              My mom & I have had different last names since my parents got divorced when i was 10. People have called me by her last name many times, but really I don't care. I also answer to Megan if someone gets that wrong. My last name is always mispronounced & I answer to that too.

              One thing I would never do though is by Mrs. Michael Hislastname. I am not willing to drop my first name. I made a point not to address my invitations this way for other married couples. It just bothers me for some reason. I think my hometown newspaper writes it like this under the brides picture. I'm going to see if they can make an exception for me :) If not, I just might not run my picture.

              #37 Kristy!


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                Posted 26 February 2008 - 03:36 PM

                I'm taking my man's last name. I like my current name, but there's something special about sharing his. I don't feel like I'm losing my identity or anything and I'm excited about it!

                BTW, I also knew a couple of kids growing up that had two hyphenated last names and they were constantly questioned as well. I always felt bad for them. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

                #38 Dbld78

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                  Posted 26 February 2008 - 03:50 PM

                  Originally Posted by froggie1013
                  I'm taking my man's last name. I like my current name, but there's something special about sharing his. I don't feel like I'm losing my identity or anything and I'm excited about it!
                  that's great! there is something special about sharing his last name and that's why you're taking his name. and i feel that there is something special about keeping my own name.

                  being an establish professional in an industry where your name is your identity and everything that i've worked for hinges on my name it was never an option for me. to me that's just as special as taking my future husband's last name.

                  we all have our reasons for changing or not changing and that's the beauty of this debate.

                  #39 Jessica

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                    Posted 26 February 2008 - 03:54 PM

                    I didn't change my last name, but may in the future, especially since we have Aiden.

                    The only downside of not changing my last name is that if something is under my last name, people call Brian "Mr. Mylastname." Or they get all confused when they see our two different last names and think we're not married or something.

                    I use his last name socially though, just not legally.

                    My main reason for not changing was for the same reasons Michelle said. All my schooling and professional achievements are under my last name. It gets confusing to change it now.

                    But like I said, I still might. IDK. Maybe I'll just add his name onto mine, but not hypenate it.

                    #40 gkashmira

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                      Posted 26 February 2008 - 03:56 PM

                      I did not change my name and I don't plan on it either!
                      Kashmira & Dan
                      Happily married since June 16, 2007
                      Our mini-video: http://www.bajavideo...m/Kash_Dan.html
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