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Any one else NOT changing their last name?

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#101 rodent


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    Posted 03 March 2008 - 11:23 AM

    Originally Posted by aeroo
    What is great about it is that we now have so many choices! There's no right or wrong or just the one option anymore. The right thing to do is what's right for you as a couple.

    As for me, I'm still not 100% sure what we'll do yet, but this is the idea so far. Since I don't have a middle name, I will change my current last name to my middle name. So my full name will be something like this: Myfirstname Mymaidenname Hislastname

    And he might change his middle name to my maiden name. Then we would do the same for the kids. Their middle name would be my maiden name and their last name will be his. So then our family would all have the same middle and last names.

    I really like the idea of our kids having both our family names incorporated.

    This is a great thread - I love to hear what other people are doing! As for one of the previous posters who has the same last name as her FI, she is so lucky! Problem solved!
    i really like this idea.

    #102 Virg

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      Posted 03 March 2008 - 05:16 PM

      I have a hyphenated last name. Let me tell you, it can get confusing living in a single last name world with 2 last names. I often get asked questions like " are you married?" "which one is your REAL last name?" "Did you parents get a divorce" ... my personal favorite " what are you going to do when you get married? add a third? " haha

      Thankfully, living next door the the province of Quebec, where women must keep their maiden names ( and many kids now get stuck with the hypen) - or pay upwards of 3000$ to change it, people are becoming more aware of hypenated names.

      That being said, what do you do when your fiance has his deadbeat dad's last name? And by deadbeat I mean the type that he hasn't seen in 9 years because he didn't recognize his own son... He isn't too keen on keeping, I'm not to keen on taking it, and then it becomes a question of personal identity.

      When we got our dog, Bailey the english spaniel, we gave him one of my last names and one of his. It fits. That is what I think it gets down to it. It has to fit.

      I don't call it being feminist keep your maiden name, its smart, easier and less time consuming. However there is alot to be said going the tradional way, it is expected. But as DW brides, I think it is safe to say that NO ONE expects the tradional from me (at least if not for most DS brides).

      On a side note: My brother is getting married this summer and for his fiance, this is a non-issue, she is taking his last name, BOTH of them. Which to me defeats the prupose. Taking on a hypenated last name should represent the union of the 2 families, and not the union of the Inlaws.

      All this being said, we will probably do the hyphen and torture our kids with the inconvenience of the Hypen :) However, I FIRMLY believe that if I am to change mine, so is he. Equality. And there is my feminist side :)
      Happily Ever After: June 1, 2006
      Made it legal : June 30, 2009


      #103 Dijawana Diva

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        Posted 03 March 2008 - 05:22 PM

        I am keeping my name.... Made that clear to the hubby from day 1.

        He understands and supports by decision; his mom is still questioning it - - but since I didn't marry his mom...

        #104 Pazoop

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          Posted 03 March 2008 - 07:55 PM

          Oooohhhh!!! Now that's interesting....I like the middle name idea a lot! I am actually sitting here shaking my head wondering why it doesn't occur to people more often? But you've come up with something really fantastic! I don't know if it makes me change my mind about taking his last name, but it definitely gives me pause to think about it, especially because I know I want to have children and I can see the importance of sharing a last name.

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          #105 Alipires1

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            Posted 03 March 2008 - 08:03 PM

            Honestly you should do what you truly feel is right. I have two silly reasons why I am changing mine.

            1. My last name is really hard to pronounce.

            2. I am a teacher and I call houses all of the time and you would naturally assume to say the same last name of the child and just put Ms. or Mr. in front of it but that is never the case. So I want to make it easy for my children. Otherwise they get the..is that your real mom? or Are your parents married...divorced..whatever? So just to make it easy for my peeps I'm changing mine.

            My friend got married in June and her last name was Zvanya and she loved being a Z. So she was really upset and didn't change it right away. It takes some getting used too. Infact we have 2 nicoles in our group of friends and she was always Nicole Z or just Z and now she says are you forgetting something when I call her that.

            #106 Alipires1

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              Posted 03 March 2008 - 08:04 PM

              Originally Posted by Dijawana Diva
              I am keeping my name.... Made that clear to the hubby from day 1.

              He understands and supports by decision; his mom is still questioning it - - but since I didn't marry his mom...
              Ooooo I can feel the tension...Thank God I'm not marring FI's mom!!!

              #107 CarrieRN

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                Posted 04 March 2008 - 02:09 AM

                Originally Posted by kendra
                I am the lucky one , FI and I have the same last name. So I get to keep my last name
                You should definitely hyphenate that! Think how fun that would be.
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                #108 Callie

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                  Posted 04 March 2008 - 06:32 PM

                  My FI is highly against me changing my last name. He says, "I met you as X, fell in love with you as X, why would I want you to change your name to Y?" I agree!

                  Just as an idea for kids, my aunt made an agreement: if the first child is a girl all the kids get her last name, if its a boy they all get his.

                  #109 aruba2008

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                    Posted 05 March 2008 - 11:28 PM

                    I decided not to change my name. My last name says so much of my culture and family history. I'm not ready to give it up.

                    I agree with the earlier post re: that there is no right or wrong response. We're lucky to have a choice; I'm lucky to have a fiancee that doesn't feel like I'm less committed because I am not going to take his name.

                    #110 aeroo

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                      Posted 06 March 2008 - 03:14 PM

                      Yea same here, FI doesn't mind either way if I change my name or not. It's a non issue to him.

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