The Lamest Proposal Ever...
Posted 25 February 2008 - 03:37 PM
Dawn had been bugging me about going to Buckingham Fountain and Grant Park in Chicago for months. Over dinner on a Thursday night, like clockwork, she brought it up again. I sighed and agreed to go. Dawn was pretty excited that she had finally worn me down. She even suggested that we go out to a nice dinner.
I turned away and smiled a devious little smile to myself. Dawn had no idea what I had just pulled off. Knowing she would bring up the Buckingham fountain thing for the sixth consecutive weekend, I had reluctantly agreed. On Friday, the jeweler was going to call me and tell me that the engagement ring was ready. I would skip out early on work to pick it up, drive down to Dawnâ€™s hometown and ask for her grandfatherâ€™s blessing (thatâ€™s a story in itself). And Iâ€™d still beat her home from work.
Saturday morning arrives â€“ I actually did it. I did everything I had to do, while maintaining the most important part of my plan â€“ absolute secrecy. There was only complication - because Dawnâ€™s gramps canâ€™t keep a secret to save his life, I was on the clock. I had to pop the question on Saturday, basically. But even that didnâ€™t matter, because Dawn had fallen into my Buckingham Fountain trap. There was no way she would ever expect me to pop the question on a trip she had basically dragged me kicking and screaming. Everything would go off without a hitch and Dawn would be completely shocked.
Feeling pretty good about myself, I made some lame excuse to go to the store so that I could get the ring out of the trunk of the car where I had carefully hidden it. When I got back, Dawn was checking out traffic online and discovered that all of the highways were in gridlock. Apparently, every obscure ethnic group in Chicago was having its summer festival in Grant Park on Saturday, September 15th. It was going to be a total zoo. Weâ€™d have to go to Buckingham Fountain on another weekend, Dawn decided.
It was over. Instead of pulling off the perfect plan, I had backed myself into a corner. Now Dawnâ€™s gramps was going to tell everybody and it would get back to Dawn in a matter of days. It was too late to plan anything decent for Saturday night on such short notice. Sunday was already planned. With the day ruined, we ran some errands. When we got back, Dawn discovered a huge bag of crickets the cashier from PetSmart had accidentally left in our bag. Dawn squealed. After kidding her about releasing the crickets in the house (which she didnâ€™t appreciate), I dumped the lucky crickets in the woods. Things were not looking good.
When I got back up to the condo, Dawn had already poured herself a huge margarita to watch the Cubs play the Cardinals on TV. Ugh. If you know Dawn, youâ€™ll know that once she sits down to watch a Cubs game, sheâ€™s not going anywhere (unless theyâ€™re getting killed, in which case sheâ€™s usually pretty grumpy). I knew what I had to do. I had to pray for the Cubs to win and then pop the question. All you sports fans know that you never want to place your fate in the hands of the Cubs. Unfortunately, I had no choice. The Cubs were playing a double-header, but Dawn didnâ€™t know that. And for some reason, the announcers hadnâ€™t mentioned it. Anyway, the game was ugly. The Cubs were up big early, but the Cardinals came back and had the winning run at the plate in the ninth inning. Lucky for me, Cubs pulled it out and won (thanks for catching that line drive, Alfonso Soriano!). This was my chance. The announcers were going to say, â€œStay tuned for game two!â€ at any moment.
Dawn was lying down on the couch at this point singing the (wrong) words to the â€œGo Cubs Goâ€ victory song. She refused to get up. I was going to propose to her and I couldnâ€™t even get her to sit up. Nice. I bet her five dollars I could make her get up. She took the bet. So I got on one knee, pulled the ring out of my pocket (do you know how stressful it is to have a diamond ring in your pocket for eight hours?), cupping it in my hands.
I slowly opened my hands.
Dawn squealed and turned away. She thought it was one of those stupid crickets!
â€œIs that real?â€
Also not reassuring. Guess thatâ€™s what I get for playing too many tricks on Dawn â€“ ask her about the Tiffanyâ€™s unicorn necklace for a good example.
â€œYes it is...Dawn, will you marry me?â€
Silence. Like a sitcom. Waiting...waiting...
Dawn said yes. She was shocked and surprised. Thank God the Cubs won.
Cubs lost the second game of the double-header, of course. And Dawn still owes me five bucks. And I had to spend the next hour or so explaining why my proposal was so colossally lame!
Posted 25 February 2008 - 03:40 PM
Posted 25 February 2008 - 04:00 PM
Posted 25 February 2008 - 04:09 PM
Posted 25 February 2008 - 04:13 PM
Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010
Posted 25 February 2008 - 04:42 PM
I always wanted to get engaged on Christmas Eve. Well, he asked me on Christmas Eve. But he was so nervous that he couldn't wait so he asked me while I was putting make-up in the bathroom. not exactly the romantic proposal that little girls dream about...
He's made it up since then and now I can laugh about it but I will admit it was a little disappointing that night. especially when I walked out of the bathroom and saw the christmas tree all lit up in the living room. Oh well! I think I'll keep him.
I love that you got your FI to write it up though. You need to save that for your wedding scrapbook if you're doing one.
January 19, 2008
El Dorado Royale
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