| Originally Posted by Cassondra2009 |
confession #2: I was pretty much fired from my first teaching job. I still feel like a failure. and I am really embarrassed and dont want to tell anyone.
if it makes you feel any better, i never even *got* a teaching job, because i was actually "removed" from my student teaching assignment (failed), and therefore essentially kicked out of my major (art education), just a few months before graduation. apparently i really sucked at *actually* teaching, because i had gotten practically straight A's in all the theory, lesson plans, etc. in all the semesters prior. among other things, they said that i "exhibited no joy in working with the children," that they didn't think it was the profession for me, and that someday i would know in my heart that they were right.
honestly, they *were* right. i was frazzled and stressed every day, didn't know how to discipline children, couldn't control a classroom, and hate speaking in front of a group ... makes me very anxious and panicky ... i couldn't imagine signing on to do that to myself every day! mind you, this is 15 years later ... at the time, i hated them, was humiliated, embarrassed, and felt like an utterly useless failure. i went thru a deep depression and almost dropped out of college. instead, i changed my major, went to school one more year, and moved on. i was far too ashamed to tell people the truth back then ... i just told everyone *i* decided teaching wasn't for me.
so, you got a lot further than i did!
don't beat yourself up too much ... any problems you had could have had a lot more to do with the situation and work environment than with your teaching skills! things *will* get better, and you'll find your dream teaching job somewhere else. all things happen for a reason.