Jump to content

Photo

Confessions


  • Please log in to reply
1908 replies to this topic

#431 BachataBride

BachataBride
  • Banned
  • 9,310 posts

    Posted 30 January 2009 - 06:24 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KLC77
    I confess that I'm depressed, sad, lonely and PISSED OFF. I tried to talk to DH about our living situation (us not living together yet) and all he could do was joke and then ignore my questions. Finally I got pissed and started yelling and then got upset. Nothing is resolved. He had nothing to say. There is no plan in place. Every night that I go to sleep by myself I get more upset. I'm so hurt that he doesn't seem to care that we are not living together.
    That sucks Kelly. Did you give him the ultimatum that if he didn't step up you were going to take care of it?? How did he respond?? Why is he not taking this seriously? Maybe that's a stupic question - if you knew that then you could deal with it. Oh honey, I feel for you. Hopefully he will get his ass in gear soon before you go crazy!!

    #432 KLC77

    KLC77
    • Sr. Member
    • 2,207 posts

      Posted 30 January 2009 - 06:37 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by BachataBride
      That sucks Kelly. Did you give him the ultimatum that if he didn't step up you were going to take care of it?? How did he respond?? Why is he not taking this seriously? Maybe that's a stupic question - if you knew that then you could deal with it. Oh honey, I feel for you. Hopefully he will get his ass in gear soon before you go crazy!!
      I can't really do anything because in our situation he is the one with the money. Its so frustrating because I contacted a Real Estate agent and we went to look at condos and then he doesn't do ANYTHING! He says he wants to make an offer on one of them, but then doesn't DO anything about it. I told him that the Offer Fairy isn't going to come ask him if he wants to buy a condo. He has to DO something about it. He doesn't get the fact that we are out of time. There is no more time to look around and get a better deal. We are MARRIED! The prices on these condos have come down more than 50k since we first looked at them. He loves them, so its not like I'm trying to rush him into something he doesn't want. He says he wants it and then doesn't do a damn thing. Its so freakin frustrating. I told him not to call me until he was going to tell me where we are going to live. Of course, I wanted that to be in like 5 minutes and he hasn't called all day. He keeps saying we have plenty of time. I told him I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and he would regret not living with his WIFE. Errrr... so pissed! And, he could just tell me he doesn't want to buy right now, but rent. I don't really care at this point as long as we live together.
      ~Kelly

      Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

      #433 syl1115

      syl1115
      • Member
      • 789 posts

        Posted 30 January 2009 - 06:57 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by BachataBride
        My confession (it seems like I'm here a lot)...

        I cannot look at anyone else's wedding pictures. It seems that everyone has what I wanted. I should not have given in so easily when DH said we couldn't afford a pro. I know that the weather has a bit to do with why I didn't get the shots I wanted (No beach pics, no sunset), but I"m not convinced they would have been great anyway. I also really regret not doing a TTD...we just jumped in the pool & did a couple pics, but nothing hot & sexy or even romantic at all for that matter. I am just so disappointed & I know this is something I can never get back. I'm just going to have to suck it up & focus on my life with my new husband. I hate feeling so depressed after what should have been the best day of my life.

        I'm starting to wonder if you are in my head!!! I have the same exact thoughts. At first I hated looking at how crappy my pictures are. No good shots, we look posed and stupid, my kids got tired of the lady taking the pictures because she wouldn't shut up! And, it has been 4 months since the wedding and DH still does not wear his ring. Whatever!!!

        Then to add to my F'd up life right now, I got this stupid job with H&R Block doing taxes. OMG it sucks!!! The manager can't seem to schedule anyone correctly. They put me thru a crash training course then just dumped me in a chair to do taxes. I totally F'd up the first one I did. It is not hard it's just a lot of stuff to remember using their system. I am so frustrated!!! I have to find a real job soon.

        My DH seems to think that because I don't have a job, that I am supposed to have time to do everything else while he does nothing but go to work.
        Sylvia

        Our wedding slideshowhttp://www.facebook.....=1047086342460

        #434 syl1115

        syl1115
        • Member
        • 789 posts

          Posted 30 January 2009 - 07:03 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by KLC77
          I can't really do anything because in our situation he is the one with the money. Its so frustrating because I contacted a Real Estate agent and we went to look at condos and then he doesn't do ANYTHING! He says he wants to make an offer on one of them, but then doesn't DO anything about it. I told him that the Offer Fairy isn't going to come ask him if he wants to buy a condo. He has to DO something about it. He doesn't get the fact that we are out of time. There is no more time to look around and get a better deal. We are MARRIED! The prices on these condos have come down more than 50k since we first looked at them. He loves them, so its not like I'm trying to rush him into something he doesn't want. He says he wants it and then doesn't do a damn thing. Its so freakin frustrating. I told him not to call me until he was going to tell me where we are going to live. Of course, I wanted that to be in like 5 minutes and he hasn't called all day. He keeps saying we have plenty of time. I told him I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and he would regret not living with his WIFE. Errrr... so pissed! And, he could just tell me he doesn't want to buy right now, but rent. I don't really care at this point as long as we live together.
          Ok, I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but I will take your place, put my DH in your DH's place and you two can live in our house. I am in need of some space!

          But honestly, I am so sorry you are going thru all of this. It has to be very disappointing for you too. Can you just find one and give them a good faith deposit then tell DH you bought a condo for the two of you and he just has to sign papers! Why is it that men must procrastinate so much?
          Sylvia

          Our wedding slideshowhttp://www.facebook.....=1047086342460

          #435 Kat81

          Kat81
          • VIP Member
          • 7,615 posts

            Posted 30 January 2009 - 08:02 PM

            Kelly, I am so pissed for you! Why aren't you guys at least staying with one another? Seriously, why does he think he got married and then gets to keep on with life like nothing changed?! If he likes the condos I say take a day off go pick up his lazy ass and drive him to the real estate agent to put in an offer.

            #436 KLC77

            KLC77
            • Sr. Member
            • 2,207 posts

              Posted 31 January 2009 - 01:37 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by syl1115
              Ok, I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but I will take your place, put my DH in your DH's place and you two can live in our house. I am in need of some space!

              But honestly, I am so sorry you are going thru all of this. It has to be very disappointing for you too. Can you just find one and give them a good faith deposit then tell DH you bought a condo for the two of you and he just has to sign papers! Why is it that men must procrastinate so much?
              Sylvia, I might take you up on that! I can just tell him I found a house in OH! lol

              I swear, my DH thinks that time is standing still and somehow we are guaranteed 60 more years together. I hate wasting time. And he just doesn't get why I'm so pissed. Which makes me more pissed! Its so frustrating not being able to just do everything myself. We'd be moved in somewhere already.
              ~Kelly

              Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

              #437 KLC77

              KLC77
              • Sr. Member
              • 2,207 posts

                Posted 31 January 2009 - 01:47 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Kat81
                Kelly, I am so pissed for you! Why aren't you guys at least staying with one another? Seriously, why does he think he got married and then gets to keep on with life like nothing changed?! If he likes the condos I say take a day off go pick up his lazy ass and drive him to the real estate agent to put in an offer.
                Thanks Kat! Its so nice to have people on my side Although, I haven't talked to anyone who thinks he's right. Everyone thinks its ridiculous we're not living together. Its so embarrassing telling people. And my parents want to know wtf is going on. I was supposed to go to dinner with my MIL tonight, but had to cancel. I was so depressed I'd be terrible company. So, while I was on the phone cancelling dinner I broke down and was sobbing. She's great and totally understands where I'm coming from, but I hate making her the middle-man. Its not fair to anyone to do that. She agrees that DH is being ridiculous tho. So, here's what I think I'm going to do. I'm going to call the mortgage lady Monday morning to get a new pre-approval. I have all the info. Then I'm going to call the RE agent and go back to see the condo one more time to check out all the little things that may need to be fixed. He doesn't need to come. Then I'm telling him to sign the 1% deposit check and sign the offer.

                He called me tonight and tried to pull the I'm so busy at work all day while the lady at the bank is at work, so I don't have any time to call her or get anything done. Yeah right, so you mean to tell me that during your oh so busy day at work you don't call my brother 4 times a day, talk to the owner of your racecar to make stupid racing plans and talk to your two friends who's a$$es you are up? HA. Fat chance buddy. He's full of excuses and I'm out of patience.
                ~Kelly

                Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

                #438 DanielleNDerek

                DanielleNDerek
                • VIP Member
                • 18,452 posts

                  Posted 31 January 2009 - 11:32 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by InspiredBride
                  I woke up needing to confess! I am seriously annoyed with my FI. We are renting a house with his 25 year old brother who JUST moved out of his mom's house for the first time when he moved in with us last March. So our lease is up, and last night I told FI I wanted to discuss our living situation. He says we should give his brother at least another year of living with us, because asking him to move out sooner would cause him too much stress. I told him I would really like it if we could start our married life out WITHOUT his brother, since I'm honestly tired of cleaning up after him (among other things). I said maybe we could comprimise and just ask for a 9 month lease so we could at least have our own place for our first holidays together.

                  So FI says "I'm going to have to ask my mom what she thinks!"

                  What!? Seriously?! You have to ask your mom what she thinks about where I should live? He said this is because maybe she'll have an idea about where his brother can live. HE'S 25 YEARS OLD!!!

                  Okay, so I know I'm probably over reacting and we'll figure something out. But for now I'm just so annoyed!
                  I think your compromise for a 9 month lease was pretty fair. He would have 9 months to find somewhere to live, very doable and that shouldnt be stressful. And why does your fi need to get his mom involved, i hate when my hubby tries to pull that stuff with me. as his parents opinion, i'm like hello i'm your wife and it's our business so I dont care about everyone else's opinion. Maybe it's a guy thing. Like they need their mommies. Couldnt your fi's bro move back in with his mom?

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by KLC77
                  Thanks Kat! Its so nice to have people on my side Although, I haven't talked to anyone who thinks he's right. Everyone thinks its ridiculous we're not living together. Its so embarrassing telling people. And my parents want to know wtf is going on. I was supposed to go to dinner with my MIL tonight, but had to cancel. I was so depressed I'd be terrible company. So, while I was on the phone cancelling dinner I broke down and was sobbing. She's great and totally understands where I'm coming from, but I hate making her the middle-man. Its not fair to anyone to do that. She agrees that DH is being ridiculous tho. So, here's what I think I'm going to do. I'm going to call the mortgage lady Monday morning to get a new pre-approval. I have all the info. Then I'm going to call the RE agent and go back to see the condo one more time to check out all the little things that may need to be fixed. He doesn't need to come. Then I'm telling him to sign the 1% deposit check and sign the offer.

                  He called me tonight and tried to pull the I'm so busy at work all day while the lady at the bank is at work, so I don't have any time to call her or get anything done. Yeah right, so you mean to tell me that during your oh so busy day at work you don't call my brother 4 times a day, talk to the owner of your racecar to make stupid racing plans and talk to your two friends who's a$$es you are up? HA. Fat chance buddy. He's full of excuses and I'm out of patience.
                  Good i think you need to take things into your own hands as much as you can. But i think he really needs to make the time to find a place to live with his wife. And i'm right there with Kat if you need someone else to kick him in the ass to get him moving.

                  How long have you guys been looking for a place?
                  ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
                  Paradisus Palma Real Wedding Review
                  Our Professional Wedding Pictures on Snapfish

                  #439 Duchess

                  Duchess
                  • Jr. Member
                  • 358 posts

                    Posted 31 January 2009 - 01:56 PM

                    Wow, I can't imagine what you are going thru Kelly. That is really ridiculous! I wonder if he is secretly scared of that final step. Regardless, he has to get over it.

                    BachataBride, I didnt do a TTD either, because we were so exhausted. Plus my cousin was going to do it and then it wouldnt be all sexy or whatever. But he is a really talented photog, but his ideas were a little too crazy, so we decided not to do it at all. I really regret it!

                    He told me we could do it someday, but I think that was to appease me.

                    #440 KLC77

                    KLC77
                    • Sr. Member
                    • 2,207 posts

                      Posted 31 January 2009 - 05:40 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek
                      Good i think you need to take things into your own hands as much as you can. But i think he really needs to make the time to find a place to live with his wife. And i'm right there with Kat if you need someone else to kick him in the ass to get him moving.

                      How long have you guys been looking for a place?
                      Ha, we've been looking for a place for like a year! We actually found a house, made an offer which they accepted, but after the inspection it just didn't work out. So, things have been slow moving since then and that was like October/ November.

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Duchess
                      Wow, I can't imagine what you are going thru Kelly. That is really ridiculous! I wonder if he is secretly scared of that final step. Regardless, he has to get over it.
                      I agree, there has to be some fear there. But we've lived together before. So, I'm not really sure what his problem is. He just keeps saying he wants to get the best deal because the market here is finally coming down. In our area of CT property values haven't really dropped as much as other areas of the country. He's right, they are coming down. I just think we've run out of time. There's no more time to wait around to see what might happen and there is always someone who will get a better deal than what you got.

                      Anyway, I think he's upset that I'm refusing to see him or really talk to him until he makes a plan of what we are going to do. He called last night and said that he is going to accomplish some things on Monday. We'll see what happens. I just want a plan in place and some sort of action to be taken toward moving forward. He doesn't have to come home with house keys tomorrow! But, that's what he thinks I want.
                      ~Kelly

                      Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/




                      0 user(s) are reading this topic

                      0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users