Originally Posted by Pazzesca
My confession may run a little long. I write like I speak which can end up very long winded. Sorry in advance if you read it. I wonâ€™t be offended if you skip it, lol!
I am the oldest of 5 and the middle child is the only boy. My sisters and I were always very close. When I was 21, I was awarded custody of my two youngest sisters and my sister after me helped me with the expenses of â€œraisingâ€ our two (at that time) high school aged sisters. We all lived together in an apartment that I ended up shouldering a large chunk of the cost of aside from food, clothes, etc. expenses for the two youngest. I worked two jobs, one full and one part-time, 7 days a week.
Because of our situation we had always been close and put each other first before friends. When my sister after me got married, I threw her a bridal shower. It was hard since she doesnâ€™t like garlic and a lot of types of food and worked on weekends. It ended up being a brunch. I had to deal with her future MIL and SistersIL who wanted a lot of say but were putting in NO money whatsoever and didnâ€™t even help with set up at the venue or anything. Her future MIL even bought them a suitcase set after I told her I was going to buy them one!!
My two youngest sisters never made it to a single appointment to look at dresses. In fact, one never showed up since she â€œover sleptâ€. Thank goodness my FMIL was there or I would have ended up there by myself feeling a like a looser.
My married sister made it to a dress hunting appointment and was really nice about the whole thing which surprised me since she HATED shopping for her own dress.
I had a wine and cheese party because my sisters wanted to help me with my save the dates. I wanted to just let them stuff the envelopes and enjoy each otherâ€™s company instead of doing any actual work. My married sister and her husband came on time and were so helpful. My two youngest sisters showed up over 3 hours late and didnâ€™t even tell me they were going to be late. They apparently were â€œrunning errandsâ€ before the party and â€œgot stuck in trafficâ€. They then left early so one of them could go to another party. I was completely disappointed.
I asked my sister who is married about a bridal shower for me and she told me she didnâ€™t think it would be appropriate since I was asking people to spend money on traveling to my wedding.
Again, I was greatly disappointed. I feel like Iâ€™ve done so much for my sisters and I have never asked for anything in return. However, I canâ€™t help but feel like they are unappreciative of all I have done and continue to do for them and take me for granted.
I hate saying anything negative about them but this has really been bothering me.
I am just going to keep in mind that I canâ€™t lean on them for any sort of support during my wedding planning and I wonâ€™t be disappointed. I guess I just wanted to get my feelings â€œout thereâ€.
aaaww girl! i'm sorry you are not feeling the support, especially after everything that you have done for your family. Hopefully they will come to their senses and step up to the plate for you. The best thing is to not rely on them because if you do, you will be disappointed and upset during the whole planning of your wedding. and you will end up missing out on happy moments and resenting them. you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.......best of luck and i hope it gets better for you.