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#1321 *kellis*

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    Posted 26 September 2009 - 04:11 PM

    I have to confess that the thought has crossed my mind many times this week to just call the whole thing off.
    FI and I are stressed out of our mind with money problems, he just got laid off again(3rd time this year, the places he hasn't gotten jobs at keep going out of business or downsizing) and I'm not sure how much more of this our relationship can take. It's one thing after another, having to replace tires, his truck won't start, health problems, and now this job situation. Every time we save a little bit for the wedding, we have to spend it again on the next crisis. Every few weeks we have to take a step back and reevaluate our relationship because we've gotten so snarky with each other and lost our "us" focus.

    On top of all that there is so much family drama going on with my side of the family that I'm just drained and kind of don't even want to have a wedding anymore. I'm one passive aggressive comment or guilt trip away from just going to the justice of the peace. We got engaged 4 months ago, we're supposed to be getting married around June 2010 and I have gotten NOTHING done. We have changed locations twice to accommodate our families, still don't have a budget because my father keeps making demands for location, date, weather etc. but doesn't want to just give me a set amount he would like to contribute. He would be so offended if I just asked him to not contribute but he won't make a commitment to anything. Then this week we got in a big argument (not about wedding stuff but about a lot of family politics that hasn't been talked about for YEARS) and I was at the point of just having the wedding in a backyard and asking my stepfather to walk me down the aisle. Then FI helped me cool off and realize that if I did anything like that(though it might be deserved), my father's whole side of the family might not talk to us for 20 years. Not worth it.

    Sorry to verbally puke on all of you but I just am at the end of my rope. I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally and am just so tired of stressing about money. This wedding isn't fun for me anymore. It's doesn't even feel like it's about me and FI anymore. I just don't know what to do.
    http://davf.daisypath.com/Pw5um7.png
    (Formerly "Future Mrs. Kt Ellis")

    I love being a wife!

    #1322 Sloan

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      Posted 26 September 2009 - 04:46 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by xxashleyxx007
      I confess that I just ate an entire bag of Smarfood popcorn.... no wonder my clothes don't fit anymore.
      LOL -- Smartfood is the bane of my jeans not fitting. That and Big Macs..

      #1323 BachataBride

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        Posted 26 September 2009 - 11:44 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Future Mrs. Kt Ellis
        Sorry to verbally puke on all of you but I just am at the end of my rope. I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally and am just so tired of stressing about money. This wedding isn't fun for me anymore. It's doesn't even feel like it's about me and FI anymore. I just don't know what to do.
        Oh sweetie - that sucks. I'm so sorry you are dealing with not only financial tension...but on top of that family tension too. Is there anyway you would consider eloping?? That would be a way to take the stress off of both. Although, you may not be willing to do that. Your wedding and wedding planning should be a happy time - it should not feel like a burden. Maybe it would be best to postpone it - I know you probably just want to be married already...but you won't want to remember it as such a stressful time in your life. Regardless of what you decide - just remember you have to do what makes you & FI happy. Good luck honey...I'm sending good vibes your way!!

        #1324 cougs

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          Posted 02 October 2009 - 04:20 PM

          aww kelly without knowing any of the details, i would have to agree with the girls here who said you guys have TONS of stress in your lives right now! prior to marriage did you two ever have any *really* stressful times that you had to work together to get through? if so, how did you handle it then? is he also taking this weekend to think about what HE wants?

          i confess i have been snapping at T for every little thing lately (completely due to how stressed i've been) and i know he doesn't deserve it at all.

          take a step back, breathe, and take a moment to remember the things that made you love each other in the first place.

          #1325 KLC77

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            Posted 02 October 2009 - 09:31 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by mummergirl
            aww kelly without knowing any of the details, i would have to agree with the girls here who said you guys have TONS of stress in your lives right now! prior to marriage did you two ever have any *really* stressful times that you had to work together to get through? if so, how did you handle it then? is he also taking this weekend to think about what HE wants?

            i confess i have been snapping at T for every little thing lately (completely due to how stressed i've been) and i know he doesn't deserve it at all.

            take a step back, breathe, and take a moment to remember the things that made you love each other in the first place.
            Thanks Lisa! I'm trying not to jump ahead and to just take it one day at a time right now. The only problem is that the problem we are having we have had several times in the past and if its going to keep coming to the surface, its not going to work for me. I just can't keep going in the same circle my whole life. We'll see what happens... Thanks for the support ladies! :)
            ~Kelly

            Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

            #1326 YaelM

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              Posted 02 October 2009 - 10:18 PM

              Kelly - I just wanted to send you positive vibes!

              Lisa - *hugs*

              #1327 KLC77

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                Posted 02 October 2009 - 11:15 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by YaelM
                Kelly - I just wanted to send you positive vibes!

                Lisa - *hugs*
                Thanks!
                ~Kelly

                Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

                #1328 SSNM

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                  Posted 12 October 2009 - 11:23 PM

                  Kelly, I hope things are going well between your and your husband. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

                  A lot of pretty deep stuff has come out in these last few posts. I hope all of you are finding clarity and comfort in your times of stress

                  #1329 ~*Lisa*~

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                    Posted 13 October 2009 - 08:07 AM

                    This morning I confess that I've never been happier coming into work. I worked all weekend on our new house with my mom (4 days straight) and I'm glad to come to work so that I can rest and relax! pathetic, I know! lol

                    #1330 Ms325i

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                      Posted 13 October 2009 - 10:27 AM

                      I had a hectic Thanksgiving weekend too! I was actually looking foward to coming into work after the long weekend which is odd.




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