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ErinB

Confessions

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Quote:
Originally Posted by samanthag View Post
HA! rofl.gif
That's how I feel after watching these shows!
I'm like, Wow I really don't have it bad after all!!!!!
smile36.gif
OMG!!! That's one of my dirty little secrets.. I love Rock of Love!! I can't help it; I am helplessly addicted!

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Okay, here is mine and I have never, ever told anyone this .. it's a doozy.

 

I worry that I will disappoint FI eventually. That I am cheating him out of something that he should have.

 

Here is the background-

I was married before and it was the head over heels; stuff fairytales are made of, totally reckless head first kind of love. We were one of those disgusting couples that were always happy (up until we got married... LOL); never fought and I worshipped him (yes, it was unhealthy worship). I changed everything about myself so I was good enough for him (yes, I know now that that was stupid) and I completely/totally trusted him. I did everything for him and then some. Well..when that went south bc I eventually learned he was an *ss.. I went into a deep depression and it took a lot of counseling to get me "better" (FI knows that part).

 

So, here's the confession..

I worry that FI is missing out on that. I will never, ever do that again as long as I live. Give up my identity, worship someone, totally depend upon someone ever again.. Is that a kind of love that he should experience? I don't know..

I love him with all my heart. He is an amazing man who is my best friend and soul mate. But, I worry that maybe he deserves someone who is his 'fairy tale romance' without all of my baggage.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsetbride1 View Post
So, here's the confession..
I worry that FI is missing out on that. I will never, ever do that again as long as I live. Give up my identity, worship someone, totally depend upon someone ever again.. Is that a kind of love that he should experience? I don't know..
I love him with all my heart. He is an amazing man who is my best friend and soul mate. But, I worry that maybe he deserves someone who is his 'fairy tale romance' without all of my baggage.
That's probably why your guy loves you - the simple fact that you arent going to give up yourself just to please him or anyone else. That's why mine loves me, because I tell it like it is and if you dont like me the way I am - too f'ing bad!

Did that make any sense? Its been a hell of a long day...

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I confess... that I'm here on the forum instead of working on this nasty stuff that makes me stay in the office until late hours since a week !

 

OK a little 5 min pause OK ?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess View Post
Anyone check out the show True Beauty? I confess that I love watching people who think they are so great and hot get knocked down a few pegs.
I am a true True Beauty fan! FI and I get so excited about it every week!!! Chelsea is so gross!!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsetbride1 View Post
Okay, here is mine and I have never, ever told anyone this .. it's a doozy.

I worry that I will disappoint FI eventually. That I am cheating him out of something that he should have.

Here is the background-
I was married before and it was the head over heels; stuff fairytales are made of, totally reckless head first kind of love. We were one of those disgusting couples that were always happy (up until we got married... LOL); never fought and I worshipped him (yes, it was unhealthy worship). I changed everything about myself so I was good enough for him (yes, I know now that that was stupid) and I completely/totally trusted him. I did everything for him and then some. Well..when that went south bc I eventually learned he was an *ss.. I went into a deep depression and it took a lot of counseling to get me "better" (FI knows that part).

So, here's the confession..
I worry that FI is missing out on that. I will never, ever do that again as long as I live. Give up my identity, worship someone, totally depend upon someone ever again.. Is that a kind of love that he should experience? I don't know..
I love him with all my heart. He is an amazing man who is my best friend and soul mate. But, I worry that maybe he deserves someone who is his 'fairy tale romance' without all of my baggage.
Shannon, I have almost the exact same history. I was head over heels for my ex, in a way I didn't even think was possible for me. In the process, I totally lost myself. And boy did he turn out to be an a$$! I did things for him and treated him in a way that I will NEVER do again. Sometimes I think like you, that my hubby is missing out on having me do those things/ act that way for him. But, I think that the love I have for my husband now is more of a real love (more adult in a way). And, I know that he loves me for me because I don't have to change who I am to be with him. I'm just me and he loves it. I bet one of the resons your FI fell in love with you is because you are you and you didn't change that to try to be with him.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Casey* View Post
I am a true True Beauty fan! FI and I get so excited about it every week!!! Chelsea is so gross!!!
Totally agree. But the worst is that one guy, I dont know his name but he is the one who did kickboxing last week in the photo. So gross. I figure that the type of people that would go on this show arent going to be nice in general, so I kind of think CJ is a ringer. They need one person to win, and I think he is the only one with a heart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsetbride1 View Post
Okay, here is mine and I have never, ever told anyone this .. it's a doozy.

I worry that I will disappoint FI eventually. That I am cheating him out of something that he should have.
I think the previous poster is right. If you were insanely desperate for his love, he might not have proposed. That only works if 2 people have the capacity for it long term, and most men dont. I am happy for you that you got to experience it once, but it isnt healthy and doesnt normally lead to a proposal, as I bet a lot of ladies can attest to!!! I was like that with DH and he was intense too, but his capacity to maintain it over time was lower than mine. We had some problems because of it at a few points. A long term best friend with reasonable passion is what I think makes the best marriage. I just dont think passion and intensity can go on forever. Infatuation is fun, but exhausting!

You are a better person because of what you have been thru. I am sure that is why your fiance adores you.

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I confess...

 

I have done almost NO work today. I did write a to do list of things I must accomplish before I leave and threw a few things away to clean out the fridge and de-clutter the desk.

 

The rest of the time I have been searching for travel deals for a tropical vacation that we cannot afford. I need to get out of here! LOL

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