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ErinB

Confessions

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I do not like my sister in law

I read my FI emails

I am seriously terrified to get married

I am going to have my period on my wedding day and honeymoon

I want to have a baby but am too old now

I need therapy

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tata2 View Post
I do not like my sister in law
I read my FI emails
I am seriously terrified to get married
I am going to have my period on my wedding day and honeymoon
I want to have a baby but am too old now
I need therapy
do you feel you have a reason to distrust your FI? why so terrified of getting married? is it the wedding, or the "being tied to one person forever" that's scary to you?

if you're still getting your period regularly enough to know you'll have it for your wedding and honeymoon, then you're not too old to have a baby! how old are you? do you have any children already? i'm 37 and no kids yet ... does your FI want children?

haha sorry i just realized i completely harassed you with questions. it's just that the ladies here are all so helpful, and this forum is a great place to vent and get insight on any issues you might be having ... i *know* they'll be able to help quell your fears if you feel comfortable with divulging further info.smile03.gif

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Oh dear I did not realize I would have to explain my confessions but here goes...

 

Distrust issue - well at the very, very begininning of our dating relationship my FI did cheat on me. It was very upsetting we did a lot of talking and finally got to a place where we felt on solid ground and continued dating. I still am fearful of that happening again and have my antenna's up ALL the time which probably is a problem if you check out some of my other threads. My Father cheated on my Mother a lot before he finally left her and somehow I feel deep down it will happen again.

The tied down to one person does not scare me as that is what I really want. BUT can it happen??

My period well... yes it is regular but I will be 43 in Dec. and I just can't see raising a child being this old. I know "43 is not that old" but for me I think I have passed my time. My Fi is 38 and I think he would want a child if I would but says he is happy either way.

I am currently laid off and can't find a job(I am too over qualified) and my self esteem is 0. So the self doubt plays into that too. I also have gained probably 40 pounds since my FI and I started dating(he has too) which makes me feel like crap but can't seem to get motivated to lose it not even for my wedding in 29 days!!!

My Fi is not the most talkative guy, he is good about everything but just says, I am perfect the way I am, don't worry about a job it will come etc...

So my confessions I think were just a way of me admitting them out loud. I do need some therapy I think but no money to pay for it right now ;-)

So thanks for listening and I am sure you are sorry you asked now,probably to much information for you.

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I think we all appreciate candid discussions from time to time :)

 

I can relate in some ways. I too have too many familial examples of infidelity and sometimes question whether a truly happy monogamous relationship really exists. In fact, when I first got engaged the first book I bought was "After the Affair" By Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD -- a good read for even new happy couples IMO as it had some really great tips on getting connected and really building a relationship. It's not always natural to us, but if we are committed, you can have a very fulfilling and stress-free relationship.

 

As for the self-esteem issues...have you ever thought about just taking up some type of physical activity -- not for losing weight -- but just because you enjoy it? Exercise does so much for your emotional well-being and it doesn't have to be virgorous. You won't want to do it at first, but when you do get moving -- even if it is just walking around your kitchen -- you will feel a lot better and that will eventually turn into self-confidence. I have seen countless stories of it. I have never come across a fitness enthusiast who was overly depressed.

 

Another way of looking at it is, when we really care about something (lets use a new car for example) we really take care of it (get regular oil checks, wash it weekly, etc). When we have an old, beat up car, we tend to not care about it as much...yet shouldn't that be the time when we care about it the most? My point is, don't get wrapped up in what you don't like about yourself, but instead focus on what you do like about yourself -- that way, you will be more inclined to take care of yourself and hence feel even better about yourself.

 

Hope something in that verbal vomit you...or anyone else for that matter.

 

Keep your chin uphug2.gif

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I hate my sister. She has told me for the last year that:

she thought we got engaged too quickly

we shouldn't have a destination wedding because it's not fair to anyone else

she can't come to the wedding because they can't afford it

when my parents offered to pay for her to come (but not her hubby or kids) she still declined even though her husband is capable of taking care of 2 kids and has a mother and grandmother close enough by that they can help

she said spending money on our wedding was a waste since the money didn't go to us anyway like a gift.

 

I finally accepted that my sister didn't want to be at my wedding and although it's hard, got over it and have just avoided her.

 

I have not seen my sister since April due to scheduling differences. We live 2 hours apart.

We have not spoken in a month but I will see her on Sunday.

 

I did send her an invite so that she couldn't say I didn't invite her.

 

I found out today that she has been calling my travel agent to get quotes and trying to get the TA to beat Sky Auction prices of like 10 bucks a night, which of course the TA can't do. I'm embarassed that she would even try to do that. Our rate is aready less than 100/night for an AI resort!

 

I really don't even want her there now because she has done nothing but make me upset and I don't want her to ruin my day.

Maybe this was more of a vent than a confession but I feel better now!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseykitten View Post
I hate my sister. She has told me for the last year that:
she thought we got engaged too quickly
we shouldn't have a destination wedding because it's not fair to anyone else
she can't come to the wedding because they can't afford it
when my parents offered to pay for her to come (but not her hubby or kids) she still declined even though her husband is capable of taking care of 2 kids and has a mother and grandmother close enough by that they can help
she said spending money on our wedding was a waste since the money didn't go to us anyway like a gift.

I finally accepted that my sister didn't want to be at my wedding and although it's hard, got over it and have just avoided her.

I have not seen my sister since April due to scheduling differences. We live 2 hours apart.
We have not spoken in a month but I will see her on Sunday.

I did send her an invite so that she couldn't say I didn't invite her.

I found out today that she has been calling my travel agent to get quotes and trying to get the TA to beat Sky Auction prices of like 10 bucks a night, which of course the TA can't do. I'm embarassed that she would even try to do that. Our rate is aready less than 100/night for an AI resort!

I really don't even want her there now because she has done nothing but make me upset and I don't want her to ruin my day.
Maybe this was more of a vent than a confession but I feel better now!
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Can you talk to your sister? I went through the same thing, although my sister wasn't open about not wanting to go until I was already in Mexico and the whole thing blew up at my wedding. I definitely wouldn't want that to happen to you, but I think that if we had talked about it before hand the whole thing could have been avoided. I would have been happy if he she had chosen to stay home or come happy, but coming and being unhappy was not the right choice.

How is your diet going? I remember you posting about it. My friend went on something that sounds very similar and she lost a ton of weight and has kept it off.

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i confess that i just listened to about 2 bars of the song i used for the father/daughter dance at my wedding, and got so upset i almost puked all over my keyboard. won't be doing that again anytime soon.

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