Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
ErinB

Confessions

Recommended Posts

I have to confess that the thought has crossed my mind many times this week to just call the whole thing off.

FI and I are stressed out of our mind with money problems, he just got laid off again(3rd time this year, the places he hasn't gotten jobs at keep going out of business or downsizing) and I'm not sure how much more of this our relationship can take. It's one thing after another, having to replace tires, his truck won't start, health problems, and now this job situation. Every time we save a little bit for the wedding, we have to spend it again on the next crisis. Every few weeks we have to take a step back and reevaluate our relationship because we've gotten so snarky with each other and lost our "us" focus.

 

On top of all that there is so much family drama going on with my side of the family that I'm just drained and kind of don't even want to have a wedding anymore. I'm one passive aggressive comment or guilt trip away from just going to the justice of the peace. We got engaged 4 months ago, we're supposed to be getting married around June 2010 and I have gotten NOTHING done. We have changed locations twice to accommodate our families, still don't have a budget because my father keeps making demands for location, date, weather etc. but doesn't want to just give me a set amount he would like to contribute. He would be so offended if I just asked him to not contribute but he won't make a commitment to anything. Then this week we got in a big argument (not about wedding stuff but about a lot of family politics that hasn't been talked about for YEARS) and I was at the point of just having the wedding in a backyard and asking my stepfather to walk me down the aisle. Then FI helped me cool off and realize that if I did anything like that(though it might be deserved), my father's whole side of the family might not talk to us for 20 years. Not worth it.

 

Sorry to verbally puke on all of you but I just am at the end of my rope. I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally and am just so tired of stressing about money. This wedding isn't fun for me anymore. It's doesn't even feel like it's about me and FI anymore. I just don't know what to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxashleyxx007 View Post
I confess that I just ate an entire bag of Smarfood popcorn.... no wonder my clothes don't fit anymore.
LOL -- Smartfood is the bane of my jeans not fitting. That and Big Macs..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by Future Mrs. Kt Ellis View Post
Sorry to verbally puke on all of you but I just am at the end of my rope. I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally and am just so tired of stressing about money. This wedding isn't fun for me anymore. It's doesn't even feel like it's about me and FI anymore. I just don't know what to do.
Oh sweetie - that sucks. I'm so sorry you are dealing with not only financial tension...but on top of that family tension too. Is there anyway you would consider eloping?? That would be a way to take the stress off of both. Although, you may not be willing to do that. Your wedding and wedding planning should be a happy time - it should not feel like a burden. Maybe it would be best to postpone it - I know you probably just want to be married already...but you won't want to remember it as such a stressful time in your life. Regardless of what you decide - just remember you have to do what makes you & FI happy. Good luck honey...I'm sending good vibes your way!! hug2.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

aww kelly without knowing any of the details, i would have to agree with the girls here who said you guys have TONS of stress in your lives right now! prior to marriage did you two ever have any *really* stressful times that you had to work together to get through? if so, how did you handle it then? is he also taking this weekend to think about what HE wants?

 

i confess i have been snapping at T for every little thing lately (completely due to how stressed i've been) and i know he doesn't deserve it at all.

 

take a step back, breathe, and take a moment to remember the things that made you love each other in the first place.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Originally Posted by mummergirl View Post
aww kelly without knowing any of the details, i would have to agree with the girls here who said you guys have TONS of stress in your lives right now! prior to marriage did you two ever have any *really* stressful times that you had to work together to get through? if so, how did you handle it then? is he also taking this weekend to think about what HE wants?

i confess i have been snapping at T for every little thing lately (completely due to how stressed i've been) and i know he doesn't deserve it at all.

take a step back, breathe, and take a moment to remember the things that made you love each other in the first place.
Thanks Lisa! I'm trying not to jump ahead and to just take it one day at a time right now. The only problem is that the problem we are having we have had several times in the past and if its going to keep coming to the surface, its not going to work for me. I just can't keep going in the same circle my whole life. We'll see what happens... Thanks for the support ladies! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kelly, I hope things are going well between your and your husband. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

A lot of pretty deep stuff has come out in these last few posts. I hope all of you are finding clarity and comfort in your times of stress hug2.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This morning I confess that I've never been happier coming into work. I worked all weekend on our new house with my mom (4 days straight) and I'm glad to come to work so that I can rest and relax! pathetic, I know! lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • we ended up using Facebook messenger when we were in Mexico - the hotel had free wifi and at least 1 person from each family/couple had FB on their phone already - it was pretty easy to communicate among guests "hey, we're heading to the beach bbq for lunch." or "everyone is hanging at the small pool today".  a plus was that some people tried to get a hold of me via FB on the day of the wedding and I was totally not checking my phone - they were asking if the wedding was outside given the rain forecast, thankful my mom, MOH and a few other friends were on the group and could respond for me :) 
    • Are you looking for a guide where you’ll find many tips and steps to follow to make your wedding a success? We design a special for you, where you will find: Photography Tips To-Do List Check list How to choose the best dress? Memories and invitations And much more! Download it now for free from: http://emweddings.com/WeddingGuide/index.html     Don’t stress. Enjoy every moment, tomorrow will be your best memories. See you soon!
    • Another option is to find an app that allows for group talk. This Wedding Party App looks pretty neat. https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-party-app/ 
    • Hi Everyone, So, I was cleaning out my closet and realized that I never sold off my extra wedding OOT bag stuff from our wonderful DW.   46 Daily Spanish for Dummies 30 Pool colored OOT fabric bags - approximately 13in x 13in. They lay flat.  I used them for our wedding and they were perfect for everything we needed to fit in each bag. There’s a slight shade variation in the group; I’m guessing some were cut from a different bolt of fabric.  They are also a little wrinkled from storage and will probably be wrinkled from shipping. I have three additional ones, but they somehow got something on them (likely toddler related). If needed, I can try to wash it out and send those as well. 
    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
  • Topics

×