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Paying for Attendants?

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#1 jujigirl

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    Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:25 PM

    Hey - did anyone out there help your attendants pay for accomodations? I've read different articles that suggest that...we are trying to fit this into our budget but with a 14 person wedding party it is getting ridiculous. (If this is a repeat thread, let me know...I tried searching to no avail!).

    #2 lucy106

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      Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:33 PM

      I could've sworn there was another thread about this but couldnt find it either....

      That is insane to pay for 14 attendants. I have read that ettiquete wise you are suppose to pay for attendants. But 14 is impossible. Maybe you could give them a gift certificate to the resort instead? Or help with airfare?

      #3 foxytv

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        Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:33 PM

        Nope. No way in hell we could have.

        I'm giving the BM's nice beach bags with lots of stuff in them as their gift ... and FH paid for the GM shirts and got the Reef Dram sandals for them as a gift.

        Both BM's and GM's are getting Dominican Rum as well.

        But no way we could have even helped with their lodging and flights.

        When we asked people to be in the bridal party -- we told them if it's a financial strecth that we understand.

        #4 Kristy!


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          Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:37 PM

          We're renting a villa and giving our attendants and immediate family the option to stay there for a discounted rate (about half price).

          #5 rodent


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            Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:38 PM

            I always see that in etiquette for weddings (not just DW). In all 8 weddings I've been in, i've always paid for my own clothes, hotel, flight, transportation, etc. So even though it's in the books, I don't think people follow that.

            I don't expect to be paid for when I'm in a wedding. But I do really appreciate the bride making an effort to keep costs down with affordable dresses. And no matching shoes, hair, makeup, nails, etc. All that really adds up. Especially for a professional bridesmaid like myself.

            #6 nueland

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              Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:39 PM

              We are paying the 5 night room cost for my fiances family and they are paying for their flight, We are also paying my familys 5 night room costs and my parents are paying for all my brothers flight as a x-mas gift!! There are 18people including me and my fiance. This is the only way that everyone can go and we will be spending as much for a wedding in mexico and vacation for everyone as we would here in Colorado!!!

              #7 Yari

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                Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:40 PM

                There is another thread, but can't think of the name.

                Anyhow, no we are not paying for them at all. If we had a ultimate budget then I would have, but we don't.

                I am getting them a nice gift and a nice OOT bag (more stuff in it then the other guest bags), also I hosted a bridesmaid luncheon...

                #8 ErinB


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                  Posted 20 February 2008 - 01:47 PM

                  This is tricky. Because DWs are non-traditional, I don't really think there is a set etiquette guide. The Knot says that you should pay for any attendant accomodations if they have to travel, no matter where they come from.

                  This was so not realistic for us and we only have 6.

                  Instead, we are giving them all a "credit", which basically covers the deposits or airfare. It is between $250 and $500 per person, depending on their financial situation.

                  I've done little things like purchase the guy's shirts for them, signed up for coupons at Men's Warehouse where they will get thier suits. I had to buy the dress for one BM who is having tough times right now.

                  #9 jujigirl

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                    Posted 20 February 2008 - 03:59 PM

                    I LOVE the idea of a "credit" - There is just NO way we can cut down our wedding party....I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but I have 4 best girlfriends, FI's two sisters (who are also great friends) and my little sis (MOH). FI has BIL, and 6 really close friends. We just want everyone to be there so bad but have friends in completely different economic situations...so the credit would let us spread it out and keep control of the budget. Nueland- I feel you!! I feel like the cost to have it here in TX would be around the same - the only difference is there would be more people. Thank you all for your advice/opinions...great ideas! :)

                    #10 plumsugar

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                      Posted 20 February 2008 - 05:38 PM

                      We did! As the general wedding expenses with our resort were super low, we were able to do this as part of our budget! We paid 6 rooms @ 4 nights for 9 BP members. To be honest, had we not decided to select this as our gift to them, our entire wedding would be wayyy cheap lol!!

                      (((What we did decide up front was that any guests of the BP would pay for their own share of the room and that BP coming by themselves would share rooms and this was totally ok to them all!)))

                      Room 1) Bridesmaid 1: room will be used by FI the night before the wedding
                      Room 2) Bridesmaid 2 w/ her BF: he paid for his half of the room
                      Room 3) Groomsmen 1 & 2
                      Room 4) Groomsmen 3 w/ his GF: she paid for half of her room
                      Room 5 & 6) Both sets of parents

                      No one was expecting this from us and we didnt orginally plan it either, so it was awesome to see their faces when we informed them their flight was the only thing they had to worry about lol!

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