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For those who are NOT having a bridal party.....

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#21 starchild



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    Posted 21 February 2008 - 12:46 PM

    Sorry My BMs/mom threw a shower and we had a girl slumber party. I planned the bach. party in Mexico. It was a joint event for DH and I, and actually I didn't plan anything except to say meet at x spot on x night. Everyone paid for their own stuff (well we didn't pay for most drinks) but it was very low key and super fun. I'm so not the "girls gone wild/last fling" type so I did what I was comfortable with. Good luck, I hope things turn out how you want them to :o)

    #22 Mrs. Martin

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      Posted 25 February 2008 - 05:51 PM

      I'm sorry to hear you had to spend $$ and time throwing your own shower!! I'm not having a bridal party either, but my mom has already mentioned a few times about having a shower for me. I think she wants to throw one for the simple fact that this would be a way to get all the family together since most of them aren't going to attend the wedding.

      I didn't think I has going to have a bach party either, especially since it is a destination wedding. I felt bad putting my friends in a financial situation after they have already paid their way for my wedding. I always mentioned to them that I wanted to have a weekend in Vegas with all my friends, but that cost $$ so I knew not to expect that at all!! Two days ago my fiance slipped and mentioned that my two best friends had already contacted him to find out my schedule for the month of July to take me to Vegas with a bunch of my girlfriends. Apparently they have been planning it since I announced my engagement! I was completely shocked and honored that they considered having anything for me.

      So, you never know! Someone may be planning something for you and you just don't know it! Besides, you are in LA- you have TONS of places to choose from to celebrate locally!! Hopefully everything works out for you and you get to party hardy for your bach party!!!

      #23 BarefootBride

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        Posted 29 February 2008 - 11:29 AM

        My friends/assistant is throwing a party. She is calling it a reception! It will be before I leave for summer break.

        #24 PrecisePlans

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          Posted 29 February 2008 - 02:39 PM

          i've kinda just gave up on the idea of having a bach party. i'm really in a foul mood to be honest. I don't really consider any of those girls to be my true friends and I'm coming to grips with it.

          #25 twixygrl

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            Posted 06 March 2008 - 02:25 AM

            Originally Posted by md_ocr
            i've kinda just gave up on the idea of having a bach party. i'm really in a foul mood to be honest. I don't really consider any of those girls to be my true friends and I'm coming to grips with it.
            Well good for you. I think that this whole experience has allowed me to learn alot about myself, my emotions, what I am capable of, and who my friends are. What better time to learn about it then NOW...the moment when I am preparing to step in to the next chapter of my life. And who will I be spending this next chapter with...my new husband! 80 years for now, will I remember the song I danced to with my drunk friends at my bach party...NO...I will remember the song I danced to with my husband.

            Why don't the two of you take some time to do a pre-celebration! I am sure there are quite a few things you could think of to do with the hubby to be that would blow the socks off of having a night out with your "friends."

            Having a bach party might be the least important part of your new life with your husband! In my opinion this tradition was set up to say good-bye to your single friends and your single life-style. For many of us, we said good-bye quite awhile ago! I can't remember the last time I went out with a group of single girls. It sounds like you do not have a group you go out with frequently either. You probably spend most of your time with your FI. So really...while it is disappointing...no big deal. You have so much to look forward to in this next chapter!

            If that is not reason enough, I have a few other thoughts on the subject:

            For many people cost is a huge consideration. If you think that may be a factor...invite people over, order cheap pizza, buy cheap wine (or the cheap food and beverage of your choice) and give them an opportunity to celebrate with you in their own way...maybe people will suprise you with how they respond.

            Especially if you are in an environment where you are not surrounded by family or life-long friends, these people may really care about you and your future but may not feel compelled to take the initiative to sponsor a celebration...which is understandable. I would probably not take the initiative with a co-worker or new friend...not because I don't care...but because I do not realize how important it is to her or that no one else is stepping up. Try not to take it too personal.

            Finally, what about planning something a few days before the wedding, or a few days after the wedding...with just a few of your close friends or family that attend. If you are not having a bridal party, the few women (whether aunts, cousins, sisters, grandmas, friends, co-workers, whoever) that attend the wedding are likely to be some of the most important women in your life. Why not ask them to take part in a bach celebration. Really, its not like YOU would do anything the day after you get married that you wouldn't do the day before...right...so who cares when it is, before or after. I am sure they would be happy to spend some time celebrating with you.

            Remember, the important part is not how other people celebrate or honor this occasion, it is how YOU celebrate and honor this occasion.

            Most of all...try to look ahead to your new future and wonderful husband!

            #26 PrecisePlans

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              Posted 07 March 2008 - 02:48 AM

              Thanks for the great advise Twixygrl! Your absolutely right. Honestly, I wanted a BP for all of the wrong reasons. My fiance mentioned that his buddies wanted to throw something for him when he gets on the island (keep in mind that all of his friends are single man-hors!!) I guess I kinda got a little jealous and felt like a looser because I don't have anything planned......and it just made it WORSE that not 1 of my so-called friends even mentioned the thought of planning or attending a BP in my honor. I"m just gonna let it go.

              #27 melody

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                Posted 07 March 2008 - 03:11 AM

                I am sorry to hear that. I do not have a wedding party, actually, it is just the 2 of us this time around but my girlfriends are already planning a get together.

                You are absolutly right to let it go. It is not worth loosing sleep over it. Just think that in a couple months you will be married :-)

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