Holy Crap!

[Spazz]

How did it go last night with FI and FMIL? I can't imagine the conversations you had to have...ugh, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

[JODEY]

That is awful!! But your not on your own, my FMIL is the same! Her name isn't Pauline by any chance is it ? LOL

I totally understand what your going through, I could type a million stories about some of the stuff I've had to put up with. My FMIL wanted me to have a BBQ in our local pub CAR PARK! Shes not inpressed we're having a DW either but you know what I'm sick to death of pleasing her and other people and she now knows where she stands, hopfully what happened with your FMIL has happened for the best and you can now iron these problems out, your FI probably thought he was helping, use it to your advantage and don't let her win ! Most of Mine and Simons arguments used to stem from family issues and I just refuse to let it bother me, if I have an issue I get it off my chest even if it means "some people" hearing what they don't want to, (sorry for the long reply, this is something I feel very strongly about!) Hope this helps x

[twinkletoes]

Ok, don't kill me for saying this.

 

But in your FI's defense, at least he has been listening to you and the problems you are having with his mother. And he took a step to try and put ALL (lol) the problems on the table. Granted, it was probably in the wrong way,lol. But I think he took your frustration and feelings into consideration and since he is the 'middle-man' here, I think he was trying to make you happy.

 

Lol, now the conversation you guys had when he found out he was busted, now thats funny. lol. I do agree he could have at least given you a heads up about it, that way you would have either a) monitored the caller id and didnt pick up, lol or b)would have had time to prepare your response.

 

With all that said, I hope everything gets worked out.

[MikkiStreak]

I would be LIVID if Frank spilled his guts about some of the things I've said in moments of frustration! I think my problem with this is that your FI doesn't seem to "get it" that while he is blood related and his family will forgive him of everything negative he could ever do in his life---- that is NOT the case where in-law's are concerned.

 

And I'll be honest-- the fact that he was telling this information as if it was all YOU and nothing to do with him really strikes me as being a real "dickhead" thing to do---- it's like the little kids of playgrounds saying "well SHE made me do it..." it reminds me of an "us-vs-them" mentality.

 

Shit, I'm pissed at him for you on this one!

[Debs]

I think she just needs a gentle reminder that she is not getting married... YOU are.

 

That's all you need to say. There really is no comeback for that.

[Can'tHardlyWait]

Soooo... she never called me back last night! I mean, how do you not call someone back after hanging up on them (in her defense, her phone died)? Anyway, she called my cell today but I was at work so I didn't pick up... I had no intentions of having THAT conversation in my office! I just left her a message to call me.. we will see...

 

In the meantime, I decided to take your advice ladies. I actually read through all the posts, and after talking to my own mother, I made a list of stuff I want to address. I know, I am a huge dork, but I figure this way I won't regret forgetting anything! I am all about having this conversation, but definitely NOT more than once.

 

Ill post as soon as she calls back...

 

By the way, Maria - you are totaly right about it sounding like it was all me. I talked to my FSIL last night and she told me that anytime the wedding comes up, FI's parents make it sound like its all me, not FI, thats causing issues. I am going to make sure she understands just because I am the one putting my foot down doesnt mean I am not speaking on behalf of BOTH of us!

[amandalovesryan]

oh good luck tonight! I am nervous for you!

[foxytv]

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkletoes Ok, don't kill me for saying this. But in your FI's defense, at least he has been listening to you and the problems you are having with his mother. And he took a step to try and put ALL (lol) the problems on the table. Granted, it was probably in the wrong way,lol. But I think he took your frustration and feelings into consideration and since he is the 'middle-man' here, I think he was trying to make you happy. With all that said, I hope everything gets worked out.

That IS a good point. I'm sure he THOUGHT he was doing the right thing, but as AnnR said, guys don't get how delicate the relationship is between DIL and MIL.