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BM's but no GM...How will that work?

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    Posted 20 January 2008 - 12:54 AM

    So I initially had 1 MOH & 2 BM's. Now I find out that my FI's dead-beat friends who were to be his GM, haven't booked & are saying that they won't know for sure if they can attend. I'm like ok, whatever, your friends suck. I don't know why they're being difficult but knowing them they'll book last minute. Whatever they do at this point, we're not relying on them & they will not be in the wedding. I can't count on anyone who's wishy washy & don't want to plan for them to be in it & then they don't come.

    But anyway, I've already asked my girls to be in the wedding. I mentioned to 1 BM that FI may only have 1 GM or none at all & I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. She said that she didn't know why that would be a problem & that they could still be BM's & walk by themselves. FI says that 1 of his friends has booked & is definitely going to be there. He may just have him as his BM.

    What do you think? Should I still have all of my BM's with no GM & 1 best man, or forget the whole thing & have no bridal party? Or if FI has his best man should I just have my MOH? I am too stressed out.
    Thanks in advance.

    #2 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 20 January 2008 - 01:01 AM

      Yeah his friends suck and so does my fi's. We are kinda in the same boat. We were only having 2 bm & 2gm. Well fi's bestman just told us last week that he's now not going.

      I was thinking about not having anybody in the wedding party but I already asked my sister to be my moh and his sister to be my bm. So instead fi is having his dad as his bestman. Family is reliable! Do you have anyone in your families that he is very close to?

      I have seen pics of some weddings that had 2 bms and no gms. It looked fine. I think you can do whatever you want with a dw. Like there aren't any rules.
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      #3 sohappy

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        Posted 20 January 2008 - 01:10 AM

        So sorry to hear that but don't stress I think it'll look fine if you have 2 BM walk on each side of the best man and MOH walk by herself or whatever combination you want.

        I think you should keep whoever you've already asked to be in the wedding (and have booked) and just try to work with what you have. It wouldn't be fair if you had to tell someone they can't be in the wedding b/c someone else screwed up.

        IMO I think you should cut out the wishy washy people though. You don't need to stress down to the last minute of who is walking down with who.

        Either way, whatever you decide everything is going to be great, the wedding the pictures.

        #4 -Kate-

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          Posted 20 January 2008 - 01:26 AM

          We had two BMs and no GM. It looked fine. Do whatever you want. If those girls are all important to you, keep them in the wedding.

          #5 StephanieMN

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            Posted 20 January 2008 - 02:07 AM

            I agree, by having a DW you are making a statement so why not go the whole way and make your bridal party different. Go with who you want.

            #6 lucy106

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              Posted 20 January 2008 - 03:06 AM

              I completely agree! First of all, those are not very good friends. Second of all you should not have to compromise your wishes because they are being losers. You should be able to honor the important women in your life by having them as attendants if you so choose. Any thing goes these days especially with a DW so dont worry about how it may look.

              #7 beachbride08

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                Posted 20 January 2008 - 11:56 AM

                I am having the same the set up. I have a MOH and 1 BM and my FI will just have his BM. I think the girls will walk down themselves and FI and BM will just stand at the front, or the girls will both walk down with BM.

                #8 Martha

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                  Posted 20 January 2008 - 03:12 PM

                  I have MOH and 2 BMs. My FI just has his brother as a BM.

                  We also have 3 junior bridesmaids and one flower girl and one ring bearer. We also have 3 ushers that are my FI nephews, but they aren't really going to do anything, they are just "ushers" so that they feel like they have a part in the wedding. Is that bad, lol?

                  #9 JUSTUSTWO


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                    Posted 20 January 2008 - 03:20 PM

                    Thanks sooo much ladies. I kept thinking about it all night & figured that I'd just keep my girls. As so many of you have mentioned, I think anything goes with a DW. I feel much better about it after reading that many of you are doing the same thing.

                    But really, what the hell is up with our FI's friends? I don't get it at all. Especially since these are guys he's grown up with. But like you said, I'm not worrying about them & they won't be in the wedding even if they show up.

                    And no Martha, having them be ushers isnt bad, its cute. LOL.
                    Thanks again ladies. You're great as usual.

                    #10 chicago88

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                      Posted 21 January 2008 - 08:11 PM

                      You can totally do whatever you want. We were originally going to have 2 & 2. However, fi's friend found out his wife is pregnant and they don't want to leave the country. Totally understandable. So I said no big deal just have your best man and I'll still have my moh & bridesmaid. So it's still going to be 2 on my side & one on his side. It's your wedding - don't think you have to follow a certain set of rules!

                      Therese & Jay
                      Riu Ocho Rios, Jamaica2.15.08

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