Bad news just flew into town... *UPDATED*

[MelissaH]

Yea so like career criminal...good luck in getting him to change (unfortunately).

 

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this - I really hope for her own sake your mom comes to her senses.

[KarmaB]

Stephanie, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I saw a documentary a few months ago about women who communicate with incarcerated men and it was pretty scary.

 

I know "stuff" is nothing compared to your mothers well being but, if her mind is made up & she does marry him, she should at least protect herself financially for her future since she barely knows him. If she owns a house, I would STRONGLY suggest she look into at least getting a Pre-Nup to protect her home at the very least, and to protect her from future Alimony payments if they were to divorce. As I'm sure it would be hard for him to find a well paying job.

 

Again, I'm so sorry this is happening. I will keep her and your family in my prayers!

[-Kate-]

I feel so bad for you. At least your sister and grandparents are on the same page as you.

 

Do people change? Yes and maybe he has. Is it likely? Unfortunately, no. Prison doesn't fix broken people. It keeps us safe from them, but it doesn't make them better. Just watch out and do what you can to protect her - even with zero help from her end.

[Sarah]

Wow Stephanie. Just now reading all this- very heavy stuff. I guess I wish I could say something to make it better, but I know that's not possible. I will hope for the best in this situation. Your mom is an adult and makes her own choices. Unfortunately our parents do that. All you can do is be there to support her after this all plays out. In the meantime, don't let it ruin your wedding. People will be there to focus on you, and anyone who doesn't isn't worth the time it will take to stress about it. Big hugs sweetie.

[StephanieMN]

Thanks ladies!

Chris thinks that I am keeping my stress about this from him but really if I keep thinking about it I start to panic for her, so I have kind of tried to step back and wait to see what happens.

I talked to her last night and told her I was very scared for her and I told her I felt like I was watching her drown and couldn't help. She was crying so hard I had to let her go.

I do feel bad for her, she is in a tough situation and no one is making it easy on her. Her family is asking her to wait and he wants her to marry him in the next 2 weeks so he can legally be here in MN. I wouldn't wish her situation on anyone.

[StephanieMN]

UPDATE

 

Just wanted to let you know that I got a call from my mother and she was terrified! She asked me to come over to her house and to bring Chris ( a little side note: Chris is 6'7 and close to 400lbs--you don't mess with him). We ran out the door and she called to tell me she had paniced and we didn't need to come over, her criminal started verbally abusing her and she told him to leave and she was scared. Needless to say we didn't listen to her and started heading over to her house. She called me about 10 mintues later and said she was done with him and that he was asking her for a ride to the bus stop. She refused to give him a ride yet she was was letting him stay at her house. Sorry if none of this makes sense but I am beyond tired and still confused as to what happened.

We acted like stalkers and sat outside her house. She won't let us in and I have insisted she call me every half hour. Right now my hands are tied and I have done what I can. I hope she sticks to her word and refuses to let him back into her life. His way of dealing with stress is to react with agression. This agression was brought on by my mother changing her mind about getting married in 2 weeks. My sisters asked her to wait so they could be there. When my mom told him this he got very upset. If he really loved her he would understand. Please pray for my mothers broken heart and for a speedy closure to this nighmare!

[Yari]

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieMN UPDATE Just wanted to let you know that I got a call from my mother and she was terrified! She asked me to come over to her house and to bring Chris ( a little side note: Chris is 6'7 and close to 400lbs--you don't mess with him). We ran out the door and she called to tell me she had paniced and we didn't need to come over, her criminal started verbally abusing her and she told him to leave and she was scared. Needless to say we didn't listen to her and started heading over to her house. She called me about 10 mintues later and said she was done with him and that he was asking her for a ride to the bus stop. She refused to give him a ride yet she was was letting him stay at her house. Sorry if none of this makes sense but I am beyond tired and still confused as to what happened. We acted like stalkers and sat outside her house. She won't let us in and I have insisted she call me every half hour. Right now my hands are tied and I have done what I can. I hope she sticks to her word and refuses to let him back into her life. His way of dealing with stress is to react with agression. This agression was brought on by my mother changing her mind about getting married in 2 weeks. My sisters asked her to wait so they could be there. When my mom told him this he got very upset. If he really loved her he would understand. Please pray for my mothers broken heart and for a speedy closure to this nighmare!

Oh my goodness, how scary for your mom and you! You are such a great daughter. I hope she kicks him out of the house for good. He is such a loser. I'm glad you stalked her house, you can never be to careful.

[IrieBride08]

Yeah, I really hope that all of these obvious aggressive signs begin to make an impression on her and help her make the best decisions regarding this relationship. She's really lucky to have you and your sisters to look out for her in this situation. Stay strong! It really seems like this is starting to sort itself out!

[starchild]

Good gracious Stephanie I just caught up on all of this! It seems she slightly came to her senses and then backed down.....I really really hope she gets out of this situation soon. You've done everything in your power and I wish I could make it better. I will pray for strength for your mother....

[Copita]

Wow. Just wow. All you can do is sit down and talk to her. I understand how you are upset that she is marrying him at all!