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StephanieMN

Bad news just flew into town... *UPDATED*

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Stephanie, again, it sucks that you are still going thru this. I was sure that after that last incident, she was kicking him out & wasn't looking back.

I don't know how your mother doesn't think that her future husband not getting to want to know her childern/family makes any sense! That in itself should be the BIGGEST red flag ever.

 

I guess you & Chris have to figure out what really means more to you-not having him at the wedding & having her pout & not be happy, or sacrificing your wants & having him at the wedding just to see her happy. Thats a tough spot to be in.

Just hang in there as much as you can and here's to hoping that one day soon, your mom see's that this isn't the best situation for her to be in! smile03.gif

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Originally Posted by carly View Post
So sorry, Stephanie. I was really hoping, that my now, your mom has "seen the light". I mean if the guy is making no moves to get to know her family, does't that show that he isn't really all that interested or involved in the relationship?

I mean, I remmber in the beginning of my relationship wiht Matt, meeting his family and getting to know them was one of the things that I looked forward to most, b/c it brought me closer to him!
Oh I could just kiss you right now!! That is exactly what I keep trying to tell her. She has gone out to WI with him to meet ALL of his family and he hasn't even met her parents--HELLLLO!!
Chris met my sisters within a month and my mom shorly after.
I have been pretty good about staying out of this for that past few weeks but now I went and dragged myself back in.

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Lots and lots of big hugs. hug2.gif

 

I wish we could all be there in person to distract you and make you feel better. We all want the best for you and your family.

 

I hope this all works out on its own and your mom stops to really understand what's going on. The fact that you've told her you don't want the felon at your wedding should speak volumes to her, and maybe she'll give it more thought.

 

In the meantime, vent, fume, or just ask us to share stupid stories to keep your mind off things. We're here, whenever you need us!

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I know how you feel about having to tell your mom that her to-be husband isn't allowed at your wedding. I am in a very similar, yet different, situation. My parents divorced about 4 years ago (very, very ugly...cheating involved). Well, my dad has since remarried the woman who was involved in the divorce (if you know what I mean). Well, my mom is still very bitter and hurt about the whole thing (rightfully so). My mom and I have an awesome relationship and I know how much it would kill her if this other woman was at my wedding. So I had to tell my dad that I am not comfortable with having his wife at my wedding (my sister had to do the same thing in July). I can't really tell someone that they can't come to San Diego, so she is going to be there, just not at the wedding. Part of me feels like "who cares if she is there?" but I know that my mom does and I WILL NOT have my mom upset at me on my wedding day. I know that it is ineviatble that she will be around at some point, but is it fair to me and my FI for that first time to be our wedding? I don't think so.

 

I hope that your situation works out as best as it can. My dad was pretty understanding and never pulled the whole "Well then I won't be there." I only hope that your mom can be understanding...especially since it seems that he doesn't want any part of getting to know you guys!!

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Originally Posted by thomastaci22 View Post
I know how you feel about having to tell your mom that her to-be husband isn't allowed at your wedding. I am in a very similar, yet different, situation. My parents divorced about 4 years ago (very, very ugly...cheating involved). Well, my dad has since remarried the woman who was involved in the divorce (if you know what I mean). Well, my mom is still very bitter and hurt about the whole thing (rightfully so). My mom and I have an awesome relationship and I know how much it would kill her if this other woman was at my wedding. So I had to tell my dad that I am not comfortable with having his wife at my wedding (my sister had to do the same thing in July). I can't really tell someone that they can't come to San Diego, so she is going to be there, just not at the wedding. Part of me feels like "who cares if she is there?" but I know that my mom does and I WILL NOT have my mom upset at me on my wedding day. I know that it is ineviatble that she will be around at some point, but is it fair to me and my FI for that first time to be our wedding? I don't think so.

I hope that your situation works out as best as it can. My dad was pretty understanding and never pulled the whole "Well then I won't be there." I only hope that your mom can be understanding...especially since it seems that he doesn't want any part of getting to know you guys!!

Thanks for sharing, that does sound like a pretty tricky situation. Sorry you had to go through it.

They have decided to get married on a day that they know none of us can attend the wedding. She asked for days we all could come and picked the day that all 3 of us are not avaliable. So in less than 2 weeks it will be final. Now is when I start praying that I was wrong.

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Originally Posted by thomastaci22 View Post
I know how you feel about having to tell your mom that her to-be husband isn't allowed at your wedding. I am in a very similar, yet different, situation. My parents divorced about 4 years ago (very, very ugly...cheating involved). Well, my dad has since remarried the woman who was involved in the divorce (if you know what I mean). Well, my mom is still very bitter and hurt about the whole thing (rightfully so). My mom and I have an awesome relationship and I know how much it would kill her if this other woman was at my wedding. So I had to tell my dad that I am not comfortable with having his wife at my wedding (my sister had to do the same thing in July). I can't really tell someone that they can't come to San Diego, so she is going to be there, just not at the wedding. Part of me feels like "who cares if she is there?" but I know that my mom does and I WILL NOT have my mom upset at me on my wedding day. I know that it is ineviatble that she will be around at some point, but is it fair to me and my FI for that first time to be our wedding? I don't think so.

I hope that your situation works out as best as it can. My dad was pretty understanding and never pulled the whole "Well then I won't be there." I only hope that your mom can be understanding...especially since it seems that he doesn't want any part of getting to know you guys!!
My heart goes out to you. I was in a very similar situation 27 years ago when I got married. What ended up happening was that my mom was the 'host' if you will, my dad was invited to the ceremony and the reception but his new wife was not invited to anything. There was a tremendous amount of animosity between my mom and my dad's new wife as she had been my mom's best friend.

So my Dad and his new wife and her two children came to the church for the ceremony (my dad did not give me away, my granddad did) and my dad came for the first part of the reception, but I think he left soon after the meal.

Fast forward to 2008 and my daughters wedding, the situation has changed since 1981. My dad is no longer married to wife #2, he's on wife #3, and his wife #2 is now married to husband #3. My mom married again but divorced husband #2. So all were invited to Katie's wedding, including dad's ex-wife and her new husband, as I'm actually closer to her than my mom and she has been involved in Katie's life over the years. And they've all RSVP'd yes! Could turn out to be quite eventful.

Sorry for the novel :)

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