Bad news just flew into town... *UPDATED*

[StephanieMN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christa WHAT?? OK that story is insane, that only happens on TV. Why & how would your mom even begin to get into corresponding with an inmate?? This is very scary. I'm really sorry.

Yes, it is nuts and I really wish I could say I was lying. I am not this creative. I am curious to see how Chris responds to this whole thing.

Actually she worked with a lady who was writing to an inmate and initially she made fun of her for doing it! HA! Then she went and starting writing to a friend of the inmate her friend was talking to ..does that make sense?

[Chiquita]

That is pretty scary but I'm glad you are going to get a full background check on him.

[StephanieMN]

No one has extra keys to anything. If he is indeed a changed man I would like him to prove it on someone else--not my mom. He was accused of hitting his girlfriend. can't spell today-forgive me

[monicabrandon2008]

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieMN No one has extra keys to anything. If he is indeed a changed man I would like him to prove it on someone else--not my mom. He was accused of hitting his girlfriend. can't spell today-forgive me

Oh no = ( That is terrible! Well, I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. I would be so upset as well if it were my mother

[ErinB]

OMG Stephanie! I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do in a similar situation. I think you are right to investigate this man, including his arrest record and trial transcripts-both of which are public information.

 

How did your mother "meet" this guy in the first place? Has she dated since your father passed? Do you think she is lonely or desparate, especially now that you are getting married?

 

I would probably voice my concerns to mom, telling her first and foremost you love and care for her and want her to be safe and happy. Then you should ask her to respectfully wait until after your wedding to get married. Tell her she should have a special day to. If this guy can't/won't wait there is obviously something wrong. If marriage is supposed to be forever what difference will six months make? Hopefully she will buy herself some time and really think this through. I know that people can change but I'm with you...There are too many red flags!

[NYJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieMN No one has extra keys to anything. If he is indeed a changed man I would like him to prove it on someone else--not my mom. He was accused of hitting his girlfriend. can't spell today-forgive me

Ok, well at least you and your sister are on top of this. Keep a close eye on her and look for signs of abuse (her becoming distant, not looking you in the eye when you talk about him, etc.) You're right, he could be a changed man, but you never know so it's smart to do your due diligence. Your mom is lucky to have you two.

[cheese_diva]

Was he in jail or prison? Doesn't seem to make sense he was in jail that long for hitting his girlfriend.. must be more to it..

 

What a tough situation.. I too would ask her to delay her plans.. maybe make it about how happy you are for her but you want to wait until after your wedding to help with her plans and be there for her?? That might buy you time for his true colors to come out..

[StephanieMN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 OMG Stephanie! I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do in a similar situation. I think you are right to investigate this man, including his arrest record and trial transcripts-both of which are public information. How did your mother "meet" this guy in the first place? Has she dated since your father passed? Do you think she is lonely or desparate, especially now that you are getting married? I would probably voice my concerns to mom, telling her first and foremost you love and care for her and want her to be safe and happy. Then you should ask her to respectfully wait until after your wedding to get married. Tell her she should have a special day to. If this guy can't/won't wait there is obviously something wrong. If marriage is supposed to be forever what difference will six months make? Hopefully she will buy herself some time and really think this through. I know that people can change but I'm with you...There are too many red flags!

My parents got divorced when I was 12 so they had been apart when he died. She has dated some but nothing serious. I think she has found love and is desperate to keep it, even if it is fleeting or whatever it may be. My mom is a firm believer in the "Silent Treatment" it is amazing that 2 of her 3 daughters have sucessful relationships considering she always shuts down when conflict arises. I am saying this because there really isn't an easy way to get my concern across. She might even just not invite me to her wedding so I am not "inconvienced " by it. I do agree that something needs to be said about many things but I have to gauge that timing correctly.

[amandalovesryan]

oh, stephanie! My heart breaks for you! You have had a tough couple of months. I will pray for you and your family. Good luck! Oh, and you know where else I would look, the Amber alert website. put in his old hometown or his name to make sure it isn't something to do with kids too. Good luck!

[LCBride2007]

Oh Stephanie, I don't know what to say. I would love to hope for the best, and hope that maby this is a changed and reformed man. But I would be reacting the same way you are. I don't know what I would do in your shoes. At least you have you sister and you're not alone in this. I wonder if you could talk your mom into delaying the wedding, I mean, what's the rush? Is he pushing for the fast wedding? Please let me know if I can help at all.