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Bad news just flew into town... *UPDATED*


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#1 StephanieMN

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    Posted 18 January 2008 - 05:49 PM

    I am not really all that sure where to begin with my story or how much to share so here goes---

    My mother was a pen pal to a man who was in jail and my sisters and I tried to get her to stop doing that, she was giving him personal information about us and he knew where we all lived. This made us all very anxious ( he was in for domestic/drug issues) and we let her know. She actually wouldn't talk to me for a week. I have always been careful when I speak to her about the situation and never told her " this is what you should do" she is an adult as well as my mother so I treat her that way.

    Over the course of about a year (or so) she had gone to visit him, gotten several hateful calls and letters from him and she cut all ties. Well about 6 months ago she had started talking to him again and over Christmas she drove out to get him (about 8 hours each way) in WI. She made several very, very scary choices and my sisters and I were very concerned. She let him move in with her and rented a car for him. My mother is a professional, normally intelligent woman so we are all concerned at this point.

    I got a call from her about a half hour ago and she let me know they are now engaged! She said that they will be getting married BEFORE Chris and I ( see my freaking ticker----3 months and 2 weeks!!). I went between wanted to throw up and wanting to cry( crying won out). I am in shock. My very first concern is her safety as well as happiness. She has really only know him for a few months (outside of jail) and the fact that she is going to have a small ceremony and probably not even invite her family (aunts,uncles and my grandparents) is another huge red flag. To top it all off she wants to get married with in the next few months. I called my sister ( who didnt' know yet) and she was more angry about her planning on getting married before us. She said it is rude and childish to try and trump our wedding. Sorry but this just happened and I am still shaking....

    Please be kind to me if you think I am in the wrong--I can't handle anything much more right now.

    #2 Jones4Me

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      Posted 18 January 2008 - 05:55 PM

      WOW! I don't need to worry about being kind. You are right to be concerned for your mother! I have no brilliant or wonderful advice. Sorry. But my heart goes out to you and you will be in my thoughts and I will say a special prayer for you/your family!

      #3 NYJen

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        Posted 18 January 2008 - 05:55 PM

        OMG, I'm actually scared too. (And it takes a lot to get me scared.) I wish I had some words of advice for you. Is there anything I can do for you? Have you Google'd him to see what comes up? I Google everybody.

        #4 A10CalGal

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          Posted 18 January 2008 - 05:59 PM

          WHAT?? OK that story is insane, that only happens on TV. Why & how would your mom even begin to get into corresponding with an inmate?? This is very scary. I'm really sorry.

          #5 boscobel

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            Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:00 PM

            Stephanie, I don't think you are over-reacting or wrong at all. I am worried about your mother? Is this a mid-life crisis? It is scary when someone you know is making a bad decision and you know it. I don't have any advice to offer, just support. Vent away!!

            #6 StephanieMN

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              Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:00 PM

              Well my sister and I had talked about doing a full criminal background search on him around Christmas time but she wanted to wait. Needless to say she will be here in about an hour so we will be paying to get a FULL history on him.
              I really wish I could say he was an @sshole but he has been nice so far, who the hell knows what he could turn out to be once they get married....my head is swimming. My father passed away when I was 17 and the thought of having a step-dad isn't jiving right now, and not this close to our wedding.

              #7 boscobel

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                Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:00 PM

                Stephanie, I don't think you are over-reacting or wrong at all. I am worried about your mother? Is this a mid-life crisis? It is scary when someone you know is making a bad decision and you know it. I don't have any advice to offer, just support. Vent away!!

                #8 boscobel

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                  Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:00 PM

                  Stephanie, I don't think you are over-reacting or wrong at all. I am worried about your mother? Is this a mid-life crisis? It is scary when someone you know is making a bad decision and you know it. I don't have any advice to offer, just support. Vent away!!

                  #9 monicabrandon2008

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                    Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:04 PM

                    I am so sorry that she is jumping in and getting married right before your wedding. As if you don't have enough stress, right?! Hopefully, the background check will come out with nothing terrible and just maybe he will be a changed man! I will keep your family in my prayers = )
                    HIGH FIVE, WE'RE MARRIED!!!
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                    #10 NYJen

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                      Posted 18 January 2008 - 06:05 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by StephanieMN
                      Well my sister and I had talked about doing a full criminal background search on him around Christmas time but she wanted to wait. Needless to say she will be here in about an hour so we will be paying to get a FULL history on him.
                      I think that's a great idea. By the way, does your mom have spare keys to your house or car? If so, change your locks right away. It doesn't hurt to be too careful.




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