JennyZ

Thanks for your kind words @@vancouverpetunia.

No booking deadlines, but we did ask everyone to RSVP by July/August 1 latest, so we can pay for dinners, gifts, etc. The resort is small (only 350 rooms) so it does book up fast in the Holiday months such as December.

Uncle is totally aware of the wedding plans, but they were just waiting until my Aunt started feeling better, to book anything... My 2 cousins are younger, but they live on their own, so I'm not sure if they are even able to afford to come? But I was going to send them invites so they were included anyway.

OOOO! I'm so happy I found this thread! I'm jumping in!!!

I have done soooo much research on this topic and all in all, I get no specific answers! lol! I have been told it is completely acceptable to straight out ask your wedding coordinator, who should be tipped and how much, so I will be having that email conversation with mine soon! (I can update any ladies who are interested in her response).

Based on my research and budget, this is what I have personally concluded and am preparing myself for:

$100 - Wedding Coordinator

$50-$100 - Photographer

$50 - Officiant (we are just having a blessing)

$80 - Servers (based this on 4 servers/$20 each)

$50 - Bartenders (based on 2 bartenders/$25 each)

$50 - DJ

$80-$100 - Mariachi Band ($20 each/4-5 people)

Please let me know if I'm way out there with these numbers?! I'm totally second guessing myself and would love to get feedback! I am also unsure, because we are having cocktail hour on the beach, before the dinner/reception, so am I suppose to tip those servers/bartenders too? (Or maybe they will be the same for my reception...?) EKKK!

@@Jsnyder0132 - I had been shopping around and was also torn between photographers, looking for reviews/advice here and not quite satisfied with my options...

I posted this on another brides thread who was trying to decide between different destination photographers and she has since contacted my photographer and I believe they will be working together soon!!   I just thought I would throw this out for you too, because I am SO happy and want to share with other Brides who might be on the same search I had been on for a LONG time!:

Anyone currently shopping around for a destination photographer - Don't get stuck with the choices you think you only have! After MANY months of researching various destination photographers, getting their packages/prices, then narrowing it down to the ones who were the "best" of what I thought was available to me (but honestly still nothing special). Never did I think I would end up hiring someone from a different country (USA) of where I was from (Canada) and where my wedding was to be held (Mexico)! Not only is it totally do-able, but it was actually less expensive!!!

I can’t help but to think finding this photographer was a “meant to be” situation and now I will always remember the interesting meeting, which turned into the best thing that could have ever happened in finding MY photographer!

I found “Be Photography” after seeing his images on the Iberostar Tucan/Quetzal Facebook group a few months ago. I had actually commented on how GORGEOUS his pictures were and found myself longing to get the same quality for my own wedding at the same resort scheduled this upcoming December 1, 2015. James, of “Be Photography”, quickly responded to my comments and explained how he is also a professional travel agent (specializing in destination weddings) and if the wedding party group books their travel through him, his photography is actually free! Now, as FANTASTIC as that deal would have been! Unfortunately we had already booked all travel and I sadly thought the option was closed.

Soooo! The search continued… Looking through different Mexican photographers portfolios, not really finding anything that “popped” for me and prices that were wayyy too expensive (keeping in mind, I would also have to pay an “outside vendor fee” + day passes for a photographer & his/her assistant AND also pay to feed both of them at my reception dinner! Woah!) Of course my resort had their own vendor, who didn’t even have a website to view pictures and their package basically covered the ceremony only, so I wouldn’t have any pictures of the dinner reception???.... Finally, feeling defeated, I settled on an outside vendor, who was all I found I could really afford. I contacted him to place my deposit, only to find out, not only would I have to pay the difference between Canadian $ to US $ (obviously not his fault), the outside vendor fee, 2 day passes and pay for 2 peoples dinners – but now I also had to pay a 5% fee, to pay his bill via PayPal! This didn’t sit quite right with me, so I decided to take a few days to think about it…

Fast forward to a month ago!… “Be Photography” posted more pictures on Facebook of a destination wedding in Mexico and again, I went through the photos saying “this is EXACTLY what I want!” I private messaged him again, to compliment his work and before you know it, we started discussing options for him to be my photographer, without booking my travel. I was BLOWN AWAY when I received his quote!!! Not only was it more affordable than ALL of the Mexican photographers I had been in contact with, but I was actually getting THREE DAYS of photography (rehearsal dinner, entire wedding day/night coverage, PLUS the day after/trash the dress session) for less than what it was going to cost me, to hire locally! UNBELIEVABLE!!! Since he would actually be staying at the resort, there was no more “outside vendor fees” or day passes required! Now I get to work with a photographer, whom I LOVE his images and KNOW that I am going to have the most amazing memories captured, guaranteed!!!

I also have to mention, the communication has been fantastic and I know everything is going to be completely covered! From the initial online video meeting/conference, to the detailed, easy to understand contract – which clearly outlined everything I was receiving (with WAYYYY more than what ANY other photographer offered!!!) I was able to pay a VERY reasonable deposit via an actual credit card processor, registered to an actual business - I am left alleviated! One less stress for a Bride is always a good thing!!! lol!

You can find “Be Photography” on the WeddingWire website and with his impressive 200 positive reviews and a 5/5 star rating, I hope this review will help any other Brides out here, who don’t want to settle for anything less than what they deserve!

http://www.weddingwire.com/biz/be-photography-be-vacations-fallston/ebd3e79e272f2633.html

Be Photography Website:

http://www.bephotography.net/pricing-2/caribbean-and-international/

Last week, I received an urgent call that I needed to rush to the hospital, as my Aunt's cancer treatment had unexpectedly failed and she was now in her final days... My beloved Aunty passed away on Thursday April 16th after a short, but very painful battle with multiple myeloma cancer at the age of only 59. We are all devastated, as worst case she was given 5-15 years to live from her diagnosis in December, and she only made it for 5 months    I will be greatly missing her at all the events she was suppose to be at this year (my bridal shower in June and the Mexico wedding in December) where we were planning of making amazing family memories together, but I do find peace in knowing she is no longer in pain and being ravished by the disease.

The funeral was today and I now find myself alone at home putting together our newly arrived wedding invitations for some stress relief... Obviously I know it is WAY too soon to be sending these to her immediate family, but I wanted to reach out for some advice as I'm sitting here perplexed and heart broken...

Do I still send my Uncle a wedding invitation? and if so, when & how do I address the envelope? (It breaks my heart to omit her name )

Any thoughts or words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

@@JennyZ thank you so much for sending that info! I had some of the documents but not all, so definitely helpful. I love how organized you are - I am a planner too and usually much more on the ball than I am right now but our second son is due any day now. I'm just glad we got the wedding and vacation packages booked before I popped!

 

The only other thing that I'm hoping to get soon is more details on the restaurants for a private dinner (menu, what the seating plan would look like, photos of standard decor). Would you happen to have that? The word document Connie provided "my wedding at Iberostar" did not have the level of detail I need!

@@Laurahanby - No problem! Glad I could help!!! Congrats on the soon-to-be new addition too btw!!!

Go back to the files I sent you and check out the "MY wedding details at IB T&Q" pdf.

- Starting on page 6: Each restaurant actually has the menu listed

As for restaurant set up, that info you will have to get from the wedding coordinator.  I haven't planned that far yet. Standard decor is just white tablecloths, with your plates, cutlery, glasses, etc.

Hi ladies!

 

I am a newbie also considering the Iberostars for December 2015 as well! - both the Quetzal and the Paraiso complex. Any help/information would much appreciated! Also, curious as to what made you choose this resort, as I'm trying to narrow down my choices!

 

Thanks!

@@toriw83 - Both are fabulous locations and resorts - You really cant go wrong at either! They actually look very similar (decor, restaurants, food, walkways, etc.) I chose the Quetzal/Tucan for my wedding, due to it's smaller size. The Paraiso, has 5 Iberostar resorts side-by-side (the Paraiso Grand / Paraiso Beach / Paraiso Lindo / Paraiso Del Mar / Paraiso Maya) and is a huge complex. They have their own shopping center with an AMAZING taco shop and a burger place that you have to check out, if you go! (all included in your stay), where the Quetzal only has the Tucan as it's mirror image (2 resorts side-by-side). I found there was a lot of walking at the Paraiso, but it was so nice to be able to go over to the next resort(s) (literally just a pathway separating them) to check out different theatre shows and activites everyday!

Hope this helps a bit!

@@Jlk1004 - what's your email addy? Let me send you the smaller packages (better when you have less people). I only have 20 guests, so it made sense to purchase the Gold Star Package, then add on the extras I wanted - still wayyyy less than the Dreams package and I get everything that is included in the Dream!

Gold Star includes the flowers, the cake, a couples massage, a romantic dinner for the wedding couple, hair test and hair style for bride, cocktails and appetizers for an hour (cocktail hour on the beach) with live music and so much more. Definitely the way to go!!!

BTW Ladies, here are your choices for the chair sashes. They are $3 each/per chair

@@Jlk1004 - You can purchase the $2799 gold package (that package covers up to 20 people) and pay an extra $990 for a private dinner/reception from 6:30 - 10:30pm. Then you pay $25 per missing person, up to the 30 people that is required to rent the restaurant.

50 people is only for the beach.

The gold package also includes the 1 hour cocktail party and 45 minutes of live music (we're using the mariachi band)

@@Laurahanby - Hey Neighbour!! lol! Sure, I'll be happy to forward you the info hun! Hopefully it isn't what the sales team has sent you already. Let me know!

I dont know what the heck is going on with you poor ladies!!! My Wedding is Dec 1, 2015 and I am already in contact with the wedding coordinator! I simply told Connie, I had enough of her, and was ready to be passed along! lol! Follow up/reforward multiple times with your emails! It pays off!

Private dinner option - you can rent out a restaurant for $990 usd, even if you have less than 30 people. The catch is, you have to pay $25 per missing person (i.e. if you only have 20 guests, you have to pay $250 extra to make up the 10 missing people).

I am SO beyond thrilled that had to share my excitement with other Brides who might be on the same search I have been on for a LONG time!

Anyone currently shopping around for a destination photographer - Don't get stuck with the choices you think you only have! After MANY months of researching various destination photographers, getting their packages/prices, then narrowing it down to the ones who were the "best" of what I thought was available to me (but honestly still nothing special). Never did I think I would end up hiring someone from a different country (USA) of where I was from (Canada) and where my wedding was to be held (Mexico)! Not only is it totally do-able, but it was actually less expensive!!!

I can’t help but to think finding this photographer was a “meant to be” situation and now I will always remember the interesting meeting, which turned into the best thing that could have ever happened in finding MY photographer!

Soooo! The search continued… Looking through different Mexican photographers portfolios, not really finding anything that “popped” for me and prices that were wayyy too expensive (keeping in mind, I would also have to pay an “outside vendor fee” + day passes for a photographer & his/her assistant AND also pay to feed both of them at my reception dinner! Woah!) Of course my resort had their own vendor, who didn’t even have a website to view pictures and their package basically covered the ceremony only, so I wouldn’t have any pictures of the dinner reception???.... Finally, feeling defeated, I settled on an outside vendor, who was all I found I could really afford. I contacted him to place my deposit, only to find out, not only would I have to pay the difference between Canadian $ to US $ (obviously not his fault), the outside vendor fee, 2 day passes and pay for 2 peoples dinners – but now I also had to pay a 5% fee, to pay his bill via PayPal! This didn’t sit quite right with me, so I decided to take a few days to think about it…

Fast forward to a few days ago!… “Be Photography” posted more pictures on Facebook of a destination wedding in Mexico and again, I went through the photos saying “this is EXACTLY what I want!” I private messaged him again, to compliment his work and before you know it, we started discussing options for him to be my photographer, without booking my travel. LADIES – I was BLOWN AWAY when I received his quote!!! Not only was it more affordable than ALL of the Mexican photographers I had been in contact with, but I was actually getting THREE DAYS of photography (rehearsal dinner, entire wedding day/night coverage, PLUS the day after/trash the dress session) for less than what it was going to cost me, to hire locally! UNBELIEVABLE!!! Since he would actually be staying at the resort, there was no more “outside vendor fees” or day passes required! Now I get to work with a photographer, whom I LOVE his images and KNOW that I am going to have the most amazing memories captured, guaranteed!!!

I also have to mention, the communication has been fantastic and I know everything is going to be completely covered! From the initial online video meeting/conference, to the detailed, easy to understand contract – which clearly outlined everything I was receiving (with WAYYYY more than what ANY other photographer offered!!!) I was able to pay a VERY reasonable deposit via an actual credit card processor, registered to an actual business - I am left alleviated! One less stress for a Bride is always a good thing!!! lol!

With all due respect ladies, I am kind of glad she wrote what she did... It has actually helped out and made me feel a lot better about my situation... I feel WAYYYY more badly, for the poor Bride who gets that MIL!... All of a sudden, financial reasons don't seem quite so bad anymore! lol

Thanks for all your kind words

xo

@@Gemma987 Firstly, I'd like to say, there have been zero demands.

That came across as very negative. You have gone a little too far comparing your own situation to mine, and in the process, your post is actually very bitter to read. I'm not exactly sure why there have been so many comparisons to your sons wedding (which sounds nothing like my own) so perhaps you might want to reread my original posts before casting your judgment on my "tone".

Where have you gathered in my messages, that we have a wedding location with no meaning or sentiment? That couldn’t be anywhere further than what we chose together - a place that is very important to us, with memories and many things we knew our families would all enjoy.

They might have to spend a bit to get there, but I worked very hard to get everyone amazing prices (even worked it out, so the deals were based out of the closest airports to each guest), then my family is then paying the ENTIRE wedding bill - so really, not such a bad deal, if you consider the total cost, right?

I wish my future MIL would offer to host rehearsal dinner... But, that wasn't offered to me and I am paying for everything myself. Again, a comparison that didn't really match my original posts what so ever…

I’m sorry you seem very disappointed and jaded with your future Daughter-in-law’s plans. It really sounds as though you needed to communicate your concerns earlier in the planning process, especially if you are flipping the bill. Much better than resenting. Luckily for you, it's just a once in a lifetime event.

My only suggestion to you regarding your luggage (which is such a small thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things, really?) To perhaps pack a little lighter/get everything into 1 case each (shoes in your carry on) and steaming the suit/dress if need be? Or you could even pack the dress, suit and shoes into just one extra luggage and save $$$ on needing to carry 4 pieces of luggage, as that just seems a bit excessive.

Thank you everyone! I'm glad to get such great feedback Since I am having a rather small & intimate wedding, I am doing bigger OOT bags (guesstimating $50-$75 each) so I was just being a little hesitant, if I should make up a whole another bag for this new guest, or make one up, like I would have for the original couple. After thinking about all the positives there still will be, I will make her one of her own, to make her feel welcome and part of the group Thanks again Ladies!!!

Well! I knew this would be the best place to ask! lol! I have a bit of a... Different situation. Advice or suggestions appreciated please!

I have invited a girlfriend to my wedding with her boyfriend (both whom are mutual friends with me and my FI). She has just announced they are pregnant (yay!) and she is still planning on coming with the baby, who will be approx. 3 months by that point....

However, the boyfriend hasn't asked his work to book off the wedding week and my girlfriend told me this week, that she is just going to bring his sister instead, to help her with the baby, etc. for the week. I was caught a little off-guard/surprised, especially since I dont know this girl, nor invited her to the wedding (I might be being silly here? Just thought I would be asked first is all? lol)

SO! I have been making up my OOT bags, which you ladies may know, become expensive VERY quickly (especially since I am doing bubba mugs for everyone and extras for all of the ladies). I was planning on 1 bag per couple, so now I'm curious if I'm suppose to be making another separate gift bag for this person I have never met???

Congrats on the Legal Marriage hun!!! This has been such an exciting process for you and Im so happy to see it all coming together! You give me strength and inspiration   

Hope you have a wonderful first weekend being a MRS!!!!

OMG GIRL!!!! You day is coming up soooo fast!!! Just wanted to pop on and let you know I've been thinking of you and how excited you must be!!!

Your dress, timeline and shell look amazing!!! I'm off to read all the rest of the updates on this thread now! Just was too excited and had to write you first

@@calgarybride2015 - You are the bestest

Hi Ladies! Thanks for thinking of me!!! The last week was a bit hectic, with the deposits being due and getting everyone rounded up. Plus I've been working out, to make sure everything is good for my dress measurements being taken in February/March!!! 20lbs to go!

So!!! Here's a update!

His Mother ended up booking (alone) through our group on the last day - guess her air miles weren't as good as our package And one of his Uncle's booked (also alone). That's it!!! Out of the 29 people he invited, he has just 2 people

My FI had gone to Quebec to speak with his family/tell them it was important to him to attend. He came back to Ontario and called me excited, saying how his Father, the GF, an Uncle (he has 4) and his Grandparents would be booking the next day (the deadline date). The next day, he received a call and they advised him that they would "just prefer to wait"....

Of course I was disappointed and confused. Why would they want to pay $500 extra EACH after the deadline, instead of just putting in their $250 deposits and being included with the group???... If money isn't an issue, then the only reason I am left with, is they dont approve (11 year age difference is my thought) and simply dont want to come.

I had initially asked my FI, if he would mind if I contacted his Father's gf to have a "woman-to-woman" chat, but he wanted to speak with them himself first.... Well! Since that didn't work! I decided to reach out to her afterwards I wrote to her, letting her know that our deposit deadline has been extended until December 29 and that we would really love to have them there/hate to see them pay $500 each to book later on, should they change their minds.... I added in that I knew it was very important for my FI to have his family there and I just didnt know why his own Father AND Brother (only sibling) would not want to attend his wedding...

She wrote me back yesterday, saying the Father and herself "really wants to come" but they are "waiting until the last moment, just in case of the Grandfather and Grandmother's health".

I thanked her very much for the communication and explained how I had not known the Father would not attend his sons wedding, without his parents (I still dont quite understand why it would matter either way? lol) I let her know, that I hope they will at least know before August 2015, as we have to pay the resort the deposits on all of our guests dinners (our package is dependent of # of guests), buy gifts, etc.

To rub a bit more salt in the wound... I know his entire family have all received their Christmas cards this week, which I handmade and learned/wrote all in French, especially for them (they are all french and me, not so much!!! lol!) Meanwhile, none of them are even interested in attending our wedding, or asking if we would be having a reception closer to them. They simply just did not reply/acknowledge any of our announcements, save the dates, wedding website and reminder emails.

Guess the final answer is pretty obvious now, eh? I will add, all of his family members have well paying jobs, so money is definitely not the issue here. It has left me feeling pretty unwelcome, but all-in-all, my family & friends are being amazing, so I am focusing my energy on bringing him around those who want to be there for us, so he can feel apart of the excitement on our end. Poor guy!

I am leaving in a few hours, to go visit him wayyyy up in Petawawa (he's in the military there) and see him for the first time in several weeks!!!   I hope he notices the 5lbs I've lost and I'm bringing him a house warming gift - a framed collage of some of our engagement pictures I just got back as a sneak peek (still waiting for the rest of the pics, so I can make our wedding invitations!!! And YES! I will be sending those invitations to ALLLL of his family, who have not answered us! LOL! )

Wishing you all an awesome weekend and thanking you SO much, for being an ear and shoulder for me, during this time!!!

xo

P.S. I just added the engagement photos to an album on my profile here, if you want to see the sneak peek!

Update....

So there is a lot of upset going on (obviously) and I have a FI who is taking a lot of grief from his family and now dishing it out to me.

My FI now thinks I have rushed everything too much and we should have sent out a "survey" to ask his family members which date(s) would work best for all of them......

Needless to say, I am kind of appalled/feeling unappreciated for all the time I have spent planning everything.

The last time I checked, wedding invitations didnt come with a "fill in the blank" for the date, right?

My understanding is they would like the date changed, so a few people who do not like our December date, can make it.

I spent a few hours having to explain how with destination weddings, ANY DATE, is not going to work for everyone!

I have a bunch of family members unable to attend, either for money or date issues... However, I would have NEVER asked all of the already confirmed guests, to lose their deposits AND have to pay more for a trip in peak season (i.e in January or February instead, to suit 2 - 4 other people!) NOOOO WAYYYY!

Sadly, what it comes down to, is my FI has not been communicating with his family during our 4 months of planning (his family are long distance away) and now 6 days before the deposit is due, he is reaching out to them and finding all this out (Shame on them for not bringing up any concerns when the wedding plans were announced 2-3 months ago!) I have been in contact with all of our friends and my family, making sure everyone is on board, hence why only my side has been booking.

A few members of his family stated that their kids (under highschool age) would be in school in December, so they couldnt make it - I specifically planned the wedding Saturday to Saturday, so guest would only lose 5 days and be able to travel on the weekend/time off. Sooooo.... The kids dont have school in January or February??? lol!

Those who want to be there, WILL MAKE IT WORK. I've been asked to "view it from an objective angle" but I'm finding this very inconsiderate of guests to be dictating OUR wedding (especially when my family is paying everything for all of them and they are not offering in anything but headaches so far)

Wow. What a night and a morning so far!

Well ladies! I was hoping to report back with better news after he spoke with them again today....

7 days before deposit is due, over $5000 in non-refundable deposits from guests already made (and my one week reminder email went out today to all other guests)....

I received a call from my FI tonight and he is asking for us to CHANGE THE DATE FOR THEM?!?!

*insert crying face here*

@@peachykeen159 - Thanks for your understanding. I am trying to be the bigger person and work towards a happy ending for all, especially considering future situations might be jaded after their non-attendance... We spend hundreds of dollars every time we travel to visit them, so I'm just surprised the effort wouldnt be returned this ONE time we have asked them.

My FI called his Mother and made the offer to help financially (even though we are both in lower income brackets than they are. lol) and she has now offered to "use some aeroplan miles and perhaps attend for a day or two".... I'm pulling out my hair, as Im sure she'll find out soon enough, it's going to cost just as much to travel for a couple days VS. a whole week on a group package... Let alone her cab to-from the airport, etc. Just not sure why its been left so last minute.

It's definitely not a fear of Mexico - The Father is just plain out not respecting it's a HUGE day for his son and again, my FI has promised to have another talk with him, to express his/our feelings towards him not coming. The Father had initially commented that he would just stay at a different resort (for whatever reason???) until he found out, there's a fee for a day pass. 

I realize at the end of the day, its our wedding and who wants to be there, will be... However, its awfully strange when its only going to be my side, and NO ONE from his? My mind is just boggled with this. Definitely not the bump I was expecting in our plans

Needs some words of advice/encouragement please...

Received a call today, from my FI with some "bad news". It's one week before the deposit is due and both his Mother and Father (they are separated for well over 10+ years) have just informed him they both will not be attending?!

Just so you know the details. The wedding is NEXT December 2015. Cost is $1300 per person for 1 week and guests have an interest-free payment plan until July 2015 (next year)...

The Mother called and explained that she cannot afford to come (she is 50 years old and is an administrative assistant for a large company and also has a serious live-in boyfriend who shares all the bills with her.....) I have asked him to call her back and let her know, the Mother of the Groom is a very important role, and if need be, I/we would totally be willing to help her with payments, to ensure she can attend her sons wedding...

The Father called and said he wont be attending, because we're just going to have a (secret) civil service at city hall anyway, so the Wedding in Mexico doesn't matter...???

I have been told there have been talks of "we should have just had the wedding in Ontario" for them, because my family is in Ontario and his family lives in Quebec. We specifically chose Mexico, because we couldn't afford the $15,000 - $20,000 cost of being married in Canada, and then ask all the family to travel anyway (travel/gas, hotel stays, food, wedding gifts, etc) So we honestly thought this was the best option for all.

I knew I would lose a lot of guests by doing a destination wedding... But never did I think BOTH of his parents wouldn't come?!!! WOAH.

I even had to ask him, if this was their way of telling me I wasn't welcome into the family??? Our wedding plans were announced months ago, so I believe these issues should have been brought up in the beginning and not after all the deposits (venue, dress, vendors, travel) have already been made...

Here my parents are shelling out $10,000 for our wedding - and his side have not offered a cent - but no matter, at least attend, right???

I am beyond heartbroken for him, as my family is already confirmed, my friends are booking, and not one member of his side has responded. Harsh eh?

I just feel this is a bad first step to the rest of our lives and cannot help to think of the hard feelings there will be in future (i.e. when we have children, why would I feel the need to travel so far for them to see their grandchildren, when they didnt even care enough to even join us on our most important day?) I even told him, I am now scared of him getting cold feet, due to the lack of support his family is now showing.

I have asked him to really have a heart to heart with both parents ASAP and ask them to reconsider/rethink the situation, but I honestly never thought this would be the response from such key family members and not sure how I should be feeling???

Would love to hear your thoughts ladies.

xo

(Just posted this in the "chit chat corner" forum as I second thought myself that it may not apply under wedding etiquette. Sorry for the double post guys)

Needs some words of advice/encouragement please...

Received a call today, from my FI with some "bad news". It's one week before the deposit is due and both his Mother and Father (they are separated for well over 10+ years) have just informed him they both will not be attending?!

Just so you know the details. The wedding is NEXT December 2015. Cost is $1300 per person for 1 week and guests have an interest-free payment plan until July 2015 (next year)...

The Mother called and explained that she cannot afford to come (she is 50 years old and is an administrative assistant for a large company and also has a serious live-in boyfriend who shares all the bills with her.....) I have asked him to call her back and let her know, the Mother of the Groom is a very important role, and if need be, I/we would totally be willing to help her with payments, to ensure she can attend her sons wedding...

The Father called and said he wont be attending, because we're just going to have a (secret) civil service at city hall anyway, so the Wedding in Mexico doesn't matter...???

I have been told there have been talks of "we should have just had the wedding in Ontario" for them, because my family is in Ontario and his family lives in Quebec. We specifically chose Mexico, because we couldn't afford the $15,000 - $20,000 cost of being married in Canada, and then ask all the family to travel anyway (travel/gas, hotel stays, food, wedding gifts, etc) So we honestly thought this was the best option for all.

I knew I would lose a lot of guests by doing a destination wedding... But never did I think BOTH of his parents wouldn't come?!!! WOAH.

I even had to ask him, if this was their way of telling me I wasn't welcome into the family??? Our wedding plans were announced months ago, so I believe these issues should have been brought up in the beginning and not after all the deposits (venue, dress, vendors, travel) have already been made...

Here my parents are shelling out $10,000 for our wedding - and his side have not offered a cent - but no matter, at least attend, right???

I am beyond heartbroken for him, as my family is already confirmed, my friends are booking, and not one member of his side has responded. Harsh eh?

I just feel this is a bad first step to the rest of our lives and cannot help to think of the hard feelings there will be in future (i.e. when we have children, why would I feel the need to travel so far for them to see their grandchildren, when they didnt even care enough to even join us on our most important day?) I even told him, I am now scared of him getting cold feet, due to the lack of support his family is showing.

I have asked him to really have a heart to heart with both parents ASAP and ask them to reconsider/rethink the situation, but I honestly never thought this would be the response from such key family members and not sure how I should be feeling???

Would love to hear your thoughts ladies.

xo

Wooohoooo! Just came on here to make sure everything went well! SOOOO happy to hear it was a success!!!

The big countdown is on girl! So excited for you!!!!