Little Princess

age does not even slightly correlate to maturity!!! Amen to that!!

I get married in 9 days time and it still doesn't feel real...! Maybe when we set off travelling it'll really kick in

For me, tipping is a matter of great etiquette that I'm not fully sure on. And if that's the case for me, I'm sure that it is for other people too! So I'd like this to be a place for people to ask their tipping questions, or people to give advice on what to do (or not to do!). My question is about tipping the marriage commissioner, specifically for if you're having your legal wedding at home (and even more specifically, if it's in BC Canada!). I've heard some say that you tip them (but never mention how much) and others say that it's actually rude to tip the commissioner, instead give them a bottle of wine or something. Soooo...help?! I hope this thread can be of use to people, I know I overthink things, but I'd hate to feel I was offending people on my wedding day

I was wondering if it didn't feel real for me because we're eloping and so we don't have the planning and the trying things on and the checking things out and the STRESSSSS, but maybe it's not just me!! I get married in a few weeks and it doesn't seem real AT ALL, I was starting to feel like I was going crazy! So while I can't answer your question, you've made me feel more sane, and I appreciate that

Quote: Originally Posted by 11-11-11Bride thats so exciting!!! when did you decide you were eloping?!? We decided a few months ago, so not quite as spontaneous as I'd have liked But compard to the usal 1-2 years people spend planning, I think we look pretty spontaneous! We booked the marriage commissioner just after Christmas (only got engaged Christmas Day!), but we've been talking about eloping and looking into it since about September We plan on having a kind of "symbolic ceremony" or "renewal of vows" in a couple of years, we'll probably have it on our 1 or 2 year anniversary So it's the best of both worlds - the fun, exciting, romantic part of eloping, then the big ceremony and dress and general awesomeness of a church wedding If money was no object yet I was still eloping, I'd do it in a hot air balloon or on a boat I think Or maybe in a more exotic place like Italy or the top of the Niagra Falls

Thank you for your suggestions Since my fiance and I are actually eloping (I'm on these boards using a fairly loose definition of "Destination Wedding"!!), we are getting married in the home of our marriage commissioner Which is why I consider him to be very accomodating and am so worried about tipping "wrong"!! We'll be in the area for 8 days (we travel on the 9th, get married on the 10th, then leave on the 18th) so it should be a lovely little honeymoon We're staying in Coquitlam itself (his Mom got us discounted rates on our hotel and insists the Coquitlam one is better!), but I hear that Vancouver isn't very far away so we'll probably drive there for things to do. Skiiing is out of our budget I think, and I'd probably put myself in hospital trying. I'm not the most graceful of people

Can anyone tell me how much is polite to tip the marriage commissioner in BC, Canada? I am hopeless when it comes to tipping etiquette and he's been so sweet and accomodating, I don't want to insult him

If money was no object, we wouldn't be eloping! We'd get him the fiance visa, we'd get married in my church in my hometown, with all our family and friends around us, we'd fly in all his family and friends, we'd have the flowers, the dresses, the suits, we'd have a reception, we'd have our first dance..oh and an exotic honeymoon - ITALY! But...that's not do-able and I'm actually really looking forward to eloping, it just seems so exciting and romantic It doesn't quite feel real though, I don't have any real planning or stress, so it hasn't sunk in that I'm getting married next month LOL And we'll have a week in Canada as a honeymoon, I've always wanted to go to Canada so that's pretty cool

Hey I'm not a bride from Vancouver, but will soon be a Vancouver Bride My fiance and I elope there in less than a month! Well..techincally Coquitlam but definitely planning on checking out Vancouver We're both pretty broke, but any suggestions of fun things to do in February in either Vancouver or Coquitlam? Also...for any of you getting married before your DW, how much is typical to tip the Marriage Commissioner? I'm going to ask in the Etiquette portion also, but I guess you ladies will have a better idea of what's normal for BC I don't want to insult him, he's been so kind and accomodating for us

I'll second that last part by Shelbygirl. It is SO easy to misread tone and things over email/text, trust me it's happened to us a LOT, so phonecalls (Skype/phone cards/FaceTime) are essential, but it's not always possible to stick with just them. Hang in there

I know the feeling Vettie We're getting married just less than a month after our 2 year anniversary! (There was the 5 years where we were friends online LOL). That's the thing about long distance I guess, you don't have the "seeing eachother every other day" thing, the first time I'd EVER met my fiance..he stayed at my house for 2 weeks! That first year we visited back and forth, I think we totalled 7 weeks together out of the year? Then this year we've lived together almost the whole year. I dated my ex for 5 and a half years (since we were just kids), but that whole relationship didn't have me feeling as loved, or as in love, as this barely 2 year one I guess TV is right...you just "know"

Destination Wedding aside, when is that EVER ok to do?! I'd absolutely FREAK at my family if they started inviting THEIR people to MY wedding! My sister will be allowed her boyfriend, but not any of her friends (though I like her friends, they're not MY friends), my parents will have to make do with having family there, and everyone else may only have their significant other not a friend as their "plus one". I agree definitely have your fiance deal with her, not you. You could have him politely explain that they're welcome at the resort, but only the people on YOUR guest list will be taking part in the ceremony, as you simply don't have the budget to include others. If you did...you would have a bigger guest list! Good luck with this!

I think that was very big of you and you've been the better person here You put it totally in his hands, it sounds like it wasn't the kind of "I'm putting it in your hands with my words...BUT LISTEN TO MY VOICE AND PICK THE RIGHT ANSWER!" which some women have a tendency to do!! Even if he does start to think that, he can't blame you or give you a hard time over it because you made it totally clear that it was HIS choice. I think her not going is best all around, for both of your's sanity and enjoyment on your big day! I know I'd hate to have someone there that would ultimately lead to me being mad at my fiance on our wedding day. Good luck with it all and I hope you don't have to come back and update us some more!!

I think you should leave the decision to him, tell him you're concerned that he isn't inviting her for your sake, which you really appreciate, but you don't want to come between him and his friends and that you feel he might be a little disappointed/resentful when it comes to the day. If he still doesn't want to invite her, then that's his choice but you've respected his feelings towards his good friend. How many people are you inviting? Surely there'll be lots of other people there to distract you and for you to worry about than this one person you have a problem with If she's important to him you should try and respect that, just as he's trying to respect how you feel about her. And trust me, I've given my fiance hell over faaaar less inappropriate behaviour than this! After I threw a fit at him he talked to the friend in question a lot less and I felt really guilty, that wasn't what I'd meant, I just felt that certain things were inappropriate, I'd never meant to come between their friendship. He has one friend that I don't like too much, from what I see of her, and what his family tell me of her, she's just a litle...she makes me uncomfortable. But she's his best friend and so I suck it up and deal with it, he doesn't see what we see. But that's all about every day life...would I feel the same if I was in that situation and it was about my wedding...I honestly don't know and I don't envy you trying to figure it out! Good luck Try talking to your fiance about it, tell him how you feel, all of it, including the confliction, and see what he thinks. It's his day too

Congratulations! Wow, you've been one patient woman, don't think I'd have been so patient as you That sounds like such a sweet proposal Have lots of fun planning Your ring is pretty similar to mine too And your proposal nearly was as well, but we decorated our tree with his sister so that didn't work out lol

Awwww I'm glad he still managed to surprise you! It made me laugh him throwing you off track Congratulations and happy planning!

Awww Very sweet!

Thank you all! We're now BOOKED with Harry Marusyk!! 10th Feb 2011 at 4pm! WOW am I excited! We'll be spending 9 days in Canada, which is more than we thought we would be, but it was choose the 10th or the 17th, and since I leave to fly home on the 18th...well, who'd have thought I'd pick the first one..!! And in my fiance's words "we're only doing this once, let's make it special" and he did throw in "we're already cheaping out, let's not cheap out on the cheap out!"

Something I started doing with my fiance was explaining "that's how it appears to me, and it upsets me", as I had a problem with one of his friends and his responses to her. He would insist that I was over-reacting, that it was a cultural thing (I'm British, we're far more "aloof" than Americans, who are all like "OMG I love ya babe!" in comparison lol), it simply wasn't a big deal because HE didn't see it as a big deal. Well, that's not good enough, I was genuinely really upset by it, that should factor in somewhere! So I went from "that's how it is" to "that's how I see it" and making sure he realised how upsetting it was to me, without shouting at him (something I have trouble with!). What would I do in that situation..? I honestly don't know. I can see both of your points here. If you invite her I'd think she'd do one of two things...not go because she finds it too stressful and upsetting...or go with the intention of convincing him that SHE is the one for him ("Made of Honour" styley). BUT if you DON'T invite her, then you'll feel guilty, he might feel slightly resentful, and quite frankly the girl needs to see that you're serious and he is going through with it. If she's not there then she can build up little fantasies in her twisted little mind about how he is just SAYING he married you but really left you at the altar for her...or he's sparing her feelings because he knows how she feels and he's just trapped in this relationship by some psycho..or some other rubbish like that! Ok I've talked myself into inviting her LOL I think she needs to know that it's real and she can't change that, and if she tries something, well it'll make your fiance realise, and it'll make you the better person, being able to look past these things which it sounds like she can't. And if she causes any trouble, have her forcibly escorted from the premises

It's interesting where our life leads us If one little thing had changed then we'd never have met some very important people! If my Dad hadn't had to move because of his job (talk about being led where you didn't want to go! I was NOT a happy camper!), we wouldn't have moved into our house, I wouldn't have gone to that school, wouldn't have made that friend, she wouldn't have pointed out the videos on the shelf and convinced me to watch them, I wouldn't have become obsessed with the films, I wouldn't have joined their official message board..and I'd never have met my fiance!! Even if we'd have moved to the house my Dad wanted, in the next village over, I'd have gone to a different school and the whole chain of events would be different!! I try to just go with the flow these days, life has taken me places I NEVER thought I would go, I've made decisions I never thought I'd make, and I'm exactly where I want to be...I just didn't know it before So I'm learning to let go and see where it takes me, even if it's frustrating at times.

Update : We've decided to go 2 days early and just spend 9 days in Canada. In his words "we'll only be doing this once, let's make it special" So I've just emailed the marriage commissioner to book in for the 10th Feb, which will be followed by a week in Canada as a honeymoon I'm excited!!

Throughout mine and my fiance's whole relationship, every plan made, has fallen through. And since we both live 5000 miles apart, plans are pretty essential. He was supposed to be getting a fiance visa to come to my country and get married there, but that fell through due to a lot of different reasons (some of which he is still waaay too bitter about for my liking), so I took a year out of school and came to America for 6 months instead. I HAVE to be back in my own country and at school in Sept this year, or my whole degree is over, so that part is non-negotiable. While in America, we decided that the simplest option would be to elope to Canada (3rd party country, no visa required), then I'd fly home from there and he'd return to his home, file for a marriage visa, and follow on behind. Perfect plan, right? Wrong! We're a young and fairly poor couple, so we're on a waaay tight budget (especially when considering the flight costs and the $1000+ marriage visa), we don't know anyone in Canada, and we're looking at February. So basically, our best option is getting married in the marriage commissioners home. Number one on the list of commisioners like that is Ann Moore. I get in contact with her...she's on holiday during our dates. I then spend a LOT of time scouring the internet, join TWO message boards, and finally find out about Harry Marusyk. He sounds great, friendly, prompt email replies, offered his wife and daughter as witnesses without even asking...great stuff! Me and my fiance discussed what date we wanted (ok, he told me he didn't care, it wasn't a special date until we MADE it special, so *I* picked a date), and I emailed Harry asking if that date was ok for him or what would work out if not. I got an email back from him asking if we could do the 10th. Well...that would mean leaving 2 days earlier than we thought, and spending 9 days in Canada...so I either have to fly out 2 days earlier, or we have to spend 9 nights there which would be expensive. So I sent ANOTHER email asking what other dates he could do, just so I know if we have any options. I just got a reply, saying that the 17th at 6pm was another option...well that is the DAY BEFORE I'm due to fly and leave him behind...AHHH!! And Harry's emails are getting a little shorter and less friendly, so I think I'm really winding him up and I don't want to alienate him as he's going out of his way to provide our witnesses and his own home... I'm sooo confused and frustrated right now!! And my fiance is out at work, so I'm trying to email him and figure it out, but he's obviously busy and not able to reply...Why us!? Why does it NEVER go to plan?!?!

Wow, you were really lucky there! And Mom's do seem to just "know" these things He was pretty proud of himself for going back, he was convinced it was going to be some drugged up loon and he was going to regret turning back, which is why he didn't stop in the first place lol Glad these kinds of things happen to other people too, it's always such a thought-provoker for me. What would have happened otherwise? Why do some people get "saved" and not others? Is it simply that some people don't pay attention to the "guiding"? We did have plans for that day, my FI could have easily just said "no" to the boys coming over, and no-one would have thought any less of him. Or is it sometimes just one person's time and not anothers, Destiny/Fate/God (Whatever you want to call it), still has plans for those people? I definitely don't think that it's all just coincidence.

JayKay, you'rs is almost identical to mine!! Hmm it asked for a description but I can't find where it went, so I'll retype it LOL This is, obviously, my lovely ring with my wedding band. It came as a bridal set He was thoroughly verse in what I do and don't like, and I think he did perfect I like dainty jewellery, so this is just right. He was a little puzzled over should he show me the wedding band or do I not get to see that til we get married. Pfft, like I'd wait that long to see..!

Thank you! That's really sweet I've never even been to Canada before, though my fiance has been to Vancouver. Can I ask, how do you pronounce Coquitlam? Is it as it looks - Co.quit.lam? I've been puzzling over it for ages! He kept thinking I hadn't a place in mind because I kept saying "it's some city but I can't pronounce it!", he obviously stopped listening at "some city" lol Would you say it'd be better to stay in Vancounver or Coquitlam, I figured there'd be that bit more to do in Vancouver..? Our ceremony will be at Harry's house, and we won't have a professional photographer or anything, it's literally just a legality, but it'll be nice to go out for a romantic walk (if the weather co-operates) and a nice dinner that evening Any recommendations for places to walk? I like Italian food, so if you know of any nice Italian restaurants that'd be great too Oooh I'm so excited!! I thought I wouldn't be, I thought I'd be a little bummed out about not having the whole dress and church and people around me etc, but I'm totally reconciled to the fact that this is the legality, this is what gives me him, and we can have the big "party" later I'll probably be sad on the day about not having my Dad give me away, my sisters as bridesmaids, and having my Mum cry in the background But it definitely works out better this way, I just hope that they forgive us!! We're not telling them until it's done, because there's no way anyone can make it to Canada and I don't want to cause them stress and upset trying to figure out HOW they can make it. I feel really guilty doing it this way, but I'd rather withhold information than lie, and I'd rather have them angry than tearing themselves up over wanting to make it and not being able to. So none of my family even knows I'm engaged, it's so nice to be excited at people on here