So we're basically eloping but told everyone what we are doing. Neither of us have been big into the vow stuff in front of other people. Also, both love the idea of getting married on the beach barefoot, so we're getting married in May in St. Lucia. Also, I hate showers baby/bridal- I'm just not into them so when my mother offered to do a shower or "something". We told how about and engagement party. She threw some ideas around and settled on a catered cocktail party for family and a few friends in the backyard of my parents house. Cool with both of us. Then my mom decided to change it to 1 in the afternoon "because it will be dark in septemeber" I decided to let her fly with it for like 2 days then after thinking about it was like no of our friends with kids will be able to go and who wants to take up all of their day, people have lives. So I told my mother if she wouldn't do it at like 4-5pm don't bother, it's not worth it, it will be less stressful on all of us. So part of me feels like I don't get to do the "wedding party/reception stuff" because people aren't being invited to the ceremony, based on the etiquette stuff I 've read online. What is everyone doing about traditional before/after wedding stuff?