brandynd

Okay girlies….I need a little bit of non-biased advice on this one. Yesterday I had my bridal shower, followed immediately by my bachelorette party. It ended up being lots of fun, aside from the fact that my FMIL was still there when my MOH surprised me with a naughty party….that was a little awkward, but beside the point! One of my BM’s had told me last week that she may have to leave my party early, because she had some birthday party she had to put in an appearance at. Okay, cool. Said BM was supposed to go along with me to my hair trial yesterday to give her input and whatnot. This was at 1 in the afternoon. I called her at 12:15 and she didn’t answer. I figured maybe she was still asleep or something, because she had another birthday party the night before. Called her again when I was on my way to my MOH’s at 3 for my bridal shower. Still no answer. Called again after dinner at 6….again, no picking up of the phone on her end. Finally I called as we were leaving for the first bar at 8:30! Again, SURPRISE!!! She didn’t pick up her cell. I left her a message asking her if she was planning on coming to my bachelorette party, and to call me when she heard the message. She never showed. I got home at about 2am, and sat up for a while in an attempt to sober up before sleep (it helps prevent the next day hangover.) And at about 3, while I was screwing around on FB, I see that she updates her status, saying what a “great night,†she’d had, and that it was bedtime. I’m so sick of this crap from my BM’s. I get married in 13 days, and I think I’ve had it. Am I wrong to be mad? I’m about ready to tell her not to bother coming to the wedding at all.

Hey ladies! So, it's been 2 days since the dreaded root canal, and I'm so glad I went through with it. I had a really great endodontist. She decided not to go in thrugh my gums (which my primary dentist suggestd) and just drill through the tooth instead, really minimizing the pain after the fact because it wasn't so invasive. SWELLING IS GONE Woo hoo! I looked like a chipmunk the night before I had to go in, and I was pleasantly suprised that almost all of the swelling was gone by Tuesday night. My pain is pretty good at this point too. It doesn't hurt at all during the day, but I have noticed that I wake up in the middle of thenight with pain in that tooth.....this could be due to the fact that I'm a tooth grinder though. Anyways, thanks for keeping me relatively calm about everything girls, I thought I was going to come unglued there for a while!

Oh hun I'm so sorry! I've been in the same boat for the past several monts since FI and I had to cancel our DW and plan a domestic one. My bridal party has grown from 3 to 9, and not everyone understands what responsibility comes along with being a BM. Try to keep positive about it, not everyone has been there, so they don't understand how stressful it is! Try to sit down with the girls who are being difficult and explain your frustration to them. If all else fails, just remember, you still have 3 girls who are going to help make your day perfect!

Oh no! I'm sorry that you're so sore! Try to stay relaxed as much as you can until you leave, and keep positive! Your attitude about it sometimes can make all the difference! Look on the bright side, at least it's just bruising and you escaped without any major injuries! I'm sure you'll heal up nicely, and your day will be absolutely beautiful!

Oh Lisa I just saw your wedding pics! You look absolutey gorgeous lady! Cangrats again!

Bah....I'm so upset ladies! I went in last week to my dentist for my final cleaning and whatnot before Andy and I get married and I get the boot from my parents phenomenal insurance. Figured I should do it while it was still free...lol. Anyways, I had a small cavity in the back of my mouth, which my dentist said he would go ahead and fill while I was there so I didn't hav to come back in before the wedding again. Anyways, he drilled too deep apparently, and hit the pulp chamber....whatever that is, and now my tooth is all gross and infected (sorry for the nastiness, I know nobody wants to read about that) and I have to go in to an endodontist for a root canal on Tuesday now. My wedding shower and bachelorette party are both on Saturday, and I've never had dental problems before....EVER. Am I going to be all swollen and puffy and gross? And where in the hell am I going to come up with $700 for a fricken root canal 2 weeks before my wedding? I'm a poor college student...lol. I'm wondering if just having them pull the stupid thing is a better idea? It's my #2 tooth, and at the very back of my mouth....Does anybody know anything about root canals? Because I'm starting to panic. I don't do pain, and having a puffy face for all of my pictures this weekend isn't really an option.

Oh wow, I need to update my info! I didn't get married on Wednesday . Unfortunately, we had to cancel our DW, and are getting married in good old Omaha on February 13th. So I have one more month left to get things together and to try and get FI's mom to mellow. I'm not too worried about it though, eventually she's going to have to get used to the idea of me, because I'm not going anywhere. Just can't take it personally, because it's not. She just doesn't want any woman to come between her and her son, so whatev. She'll deal.

Omg, I'm sorry, this is so random and pointless and I know it. I was watching the game with FI earlier, and this ridiculous commercial came on about the taco bell diet. "7 items under 350 calories..." blah blah blah. I'm all for incorporating a splurge or two into a healthy lifestyle, bu how can the fast food chain that has helped fuel Americas obesity epidemic attempt to jump on the health food wagon? Hello, you're not Subway, and she isn't Jared Fogle. I just sat through a thirty minute debate with everyone at my house over the validity of this stupid freaking commercial. Yeah, okay cool, you have some items that have below 350 calories, but how many people do you actually know that can hit up a t-bell and only order 1 thing? The food is cheap, and most of the time you're eating there late at night after you've had one too many cocktails (just speaking from personal experience here) It's the drunk munchies capitol of my city, and a staple in the diet of drunken college students, so the whole "low cal" idea kind of negates itself... Sorry for the randomness, I just got a giggle out of this ridiculous charade of being a healthy option. They may as well be advertising for "healthy" cigarettes while they're at it. I can just see the lawsuits coming on now. It'll be just like those women who sued McDonalds becase they were overweight. Ahh....I love American capitolism, especially when it comes to the diet industry. Wonder who will cash in and hop on the bandwagon next?

Hey ladies, I just wanted to take a few minutes and stop by. I know I haven’t been on here for a while; it’s been really hectic with the wedding being moved to the US, and finishing up what has been the semester from hell at school. I just wanted to thank you all for all of your help, especially Lisa, who has been nothing but encouraging and kind to me throughout my struggle with my weight. I never thought that I would find the kind of support from a website that I have received from you women. You have made me laugh at myself, and accept the fact that I’m never going to be a sample size 2, and that’s okay. You also helped me to realize that I’m beautiful no matter what pant size I happen to be wearing this month (which is back up to a 16, but hey, it’s smaller than when I started, so I’ll take it!), and that if I slack off and don’t go to the gym one night, it doesn’t mean that I’m not working hard to be at my best. I can’t believe how much has changed since I first found this thread what, like 5 months ago now. My wedding venue has changed, as well as just about everything else having to do with Andrew and I’s big day, and you all have helped keep me sane through everything. I truly think that BDW is a one of a kind website, and the members are some of the most amazing, sweet, and unique women that I have ever had the opportunity to interact with. Thank you all for your support, advice, and ability to help me look at things from a different point of view. 

Whoo!! Now, for your reading pleasure I am going to update you with the latest installment of what I’m choosing to call “The Chronicles of my FMIL from Hellâ€â€¦..has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? We are t-44 days until our wedding, and “momma†just can’t seem to stop her bad behavior. Although she now knows that I will not tolerate her neurotic antics, she just can’t seem to stop herself. I think I posted earlier about her running her mouth about my parents, calling my mom “that white trash whore,†which was lovely. I figured after not so nicely telling her what I thought about that little tantrum that she’d give up. No such luck. She’s started complaining because my mom has gotten her dress for the wedding , which is a dark hunter green, to compliment the lighter green shades of the wedding party, and I didn’t call to invite her to come along and fitted for her dress as well. She is also mad because I will NOT be allowing her to wear the white dress that she wants to the wedding. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! First she wanted to wear black, and now it’s white. And not even an off-white, cream, or ivory….I’m talking SNOW WHITE. She’s also throwing a fit, because FI’s fathers long time girlfriend will be attending our wedding, and FI will be seating her up front in the seat where is father would have been if he were still with us. She came over to our house and started screaming and crying, saying that Jean (FI’s fathers partner) is not his mother, and that if he has her up front at our wedding then she will not be in attendance. I understand that she doesn’t think Jean is Andy’s mother, and that’s not what he’s saying by seating her up front. She was seated with the rest of the parents at both of FI’s sisters weddings, and it is important to him that she be there for his as well, as a way to honor FI’s dad. FI’s father would have wanted her to be up front, witnessing the marriage of the man she treated like her own son for the last 6 years. It hasn’t stopped there either. She’s tried to commandeer the planning of both my wedding shower and bachelorette party. She called my MOH and told her that she would not be hosting the shower at the art gallery she had booked, because she wanted to have it at the club house in her neighborhood. She also had the nerve to try and call my hair stylist to move my hair trial to another day because “it really isn’t convenient for the day she wants the shower.†She hates my centerpieces, my wedding decorations, even the times we have set for our wedding and reception. She’s already successfully derailed my destination wedding, and now she wants to ruin my domestic one as well. Holy hooters, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as absolutely bat sh*t crazy as this woman. Idk, I’m so past worrying about the little stuff with this woman. I’ve come to realize that no matter how valid my argument might be, I will NEVER be in the right. It really isn’t even worth the effort to try and convince her otherwise, because she’ll just break down into tears and try to manipulate the situation. The best I can hope for right now is that by some miracle my MOH can talk this woman into wearing a long dress to the wedding. It’s a black tie affair in the middle of February in freaking NEBRASKA (which is currently under 4 feet of snow I might add), and she thinks she’s going to wear a short cocktail dress to the ceremony. Blah. I’m not going to fight her on it. She’s the one who will be freezing to death. That and I sincerely hope that she decides not to come with myself and my BM’s to get our hair done the day of the wedding (she doesn’t even want to get hers done there, she just wants to come “hang out and have girl timeâ€â€¦aka nag me about absolutely EVERYTHING that I am doing wrong that morning) god knows I’ll have enough to worry about without having to handle her emotional crises about losing her baby. Anyways, this has been fun. The point of my update isn’t so much to make you feel bad for my situation (believe me, I’ve fully come to terms with my monster in law), but to make you feel SO MUCH BETTER about your own. And I bet you do, don’t you? Come on, her unannounced little visits and personality quirks really aren’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things, are they? Happy New Year ladies, I hope you all had a wonderful time last night! And for those of you who are also getting ready for your big day, congratulations and good luck!! *Brandy**

183.06+3.75=186.81 It's freezing here in Nebraska, but I can't bring myself to do my miles on a treadmill....it just doesn't feel right, so I shall continue to freeze my ass off!

So since we had to cancel our DW, FI and I have decided to spend our honeymoon in the D.R. We’ve narrowed it down to 2 resorts…the Gran Bahia Principe Ambar, and a new resort called the NH Royal Beach Grand Luxury Resort. Does anyone know anything about the Ambar so I can make a better educated decision?

I completely agree with you. I think that if a man had said all of this about his fiancé, that the insights most of the women have posted would be entirely reversed. And saying that those of us who believe that looks don’t matter have never struggled with weight is COMPLETELY wrong. I gained almost 50 pounds after meeting FI (which I’ve JUST finished losing, hallelujah!), and he stood behind me 100%. He still thought that I was beautiful, and our sex life didn’t really suffer, because whenever I felt bad about the way that my body looked, he was there to remind me that I was still beautiful and desirable, regardless of what number the scale happened to read that day. I think that if you truly love and care about a person, then you’re going to think the sun shines out of their ass regardless of whether they weigh 150 pounds or 300 pounds. Granted, the first thing that you’re going to be attracted to is their looks, but come on ladies, if you’re engaged to marry someone, there should be a little more substance to your attraction to them than just looks…just saying, if looks changing and weight fluctuation in your future hubby is that much of a turn-off for you, then maybe you should re-think walking down that aisle. So yes, maybe your FI put on a little weight. I’m not saying that encouraging him to get healthy is a bad thing, but coming out and telling him you’ve noticed he’s been putting on weight is going to hurt him any way that you slice it. What you need to be asking yourself is whether or not hurting the man you love is worth having him lose a few pounds so he can look a certain way that you deem acceptable. I don’t mean to sound rude, and I’m not trying to amp anyone up, but honestly, some of the advice offered is going to do more harm than good. Instead of bringing up the issue of weight at all (which I don’t recommend you do) why don’t you sign yourself and FI up for some fun activity, like indoor soccer or something? They have great couples leagues, and it’ll get FI off the couch…..without being critical of him.

Ooh soo pretty!

Oh God help me, she’s at it again. I really need someone to just lend me an unbiased ear for a minute, and for the love of god talk me down before I REALLY blow up. Earlier today FI and I went over to his mom’s new condo. She said she needed him to move a piece of furniture for her. That “piece of furniture†turned into rearranging her bedroom, setting up her internet, rewiring her cable, and installing a bathroom light fixture. Whatever. That’s not the problem. After we left there, FI realized her forgot to mention that we found a cheaper restaurant to accommodate our wedding rehearsal of 32 (she was throwing a fit about paying for the rehearsal dinner at the old restaurant) for about $400….great price I thought. Well, he calls her, and she FLIES OFF THE HANDLE, and starts bitching about my parents (I’m really sorry for the colorful word choice that is probably going to be littered throughout this post, I apologize mods.) She’s calling my mom every word in the book, talking about how “that white trash whore needs to do her part,†and “THOSE PEOPLE aren’t contributing a god damn dime, so why should I?!†Let me just start off by explaining to you that my parents just reconciled after a LONG separation, during which my father was laid off, and my parents just lost the home that they had lived in for 15+ years. So they don’t exactly have a lot of money to be throwing around right now. Andrew at this point gets upset and starts yelling back at her, and then she starts crying, complaining that she is still paying off his sister’s wedding (his big sister was the golden child and had a $75,000 wedding). I told him that it was fine, he just needed to get off the phone and quit having a screaming match with his mom. I’m just SO MAD! She complains that my parents aren’t helping, yet my mom dipped into her retirement fund to pay for our flowers and cake, and my parents are paying off the $4,000 balance on the reception? Hmm….what a way for them to not contribute. And the mud slinging directed at my mother makes me want to puke. I think she’s met her maybe twice, both times my mom was nothing but cordial to her. So I went out to my mom and dads and spoke to them about everything that’s been going on. They said that they would be happy to cover the rehearsal dinner, and any other unexpected costs that come up for the wedding. I feel horrible about them doing so much for us when they have so little to give at this point, and I’m ashamed that I even had to approach them about it. I got home and FI told me he had talked to his mother and that she had apologized and decided she wanted to pay for the rehearsal dinner. She was “really sorry about her behavior,†according to FI, but I know the only reason she wants to pay for it now is because my parents offered to do so. I told him not to worry, that I didn’t want a dime of her money, and now I’m the bad guy because I told him I’m done dealing with her?!? WTF?? I’m beginning to have serious questions about what I’m marrying into. It’s nice that FI didn’t defend her behavior, but he isn’t even TRYING to see where I’m coming from. He said that family is the most important thing to him, and that he wants his mother and I to have a good relationship like the one he has with my mom, but holy hell how am I supposed to do that? I’m constantly having to defend myself, and today she hit below the belt and attacked MY family. Ugh…I think I’m going to sit down, finish my thesis paper, and have a nice stiff drink. Sorry to have such a bitchfest at you guys, but it’s good to have somewhere to go where you’re not the only one with a mother –in-law who’s demonic personality rivals that of Linda Blair in the Excorcist.

Quote: Originally Posted by ebdaniel113 My FMIL is driving me crazy!!! She is upset that we are getting married bc she thinks my FI should take the place of her ex-husband, both financially and emotionally! She sends her bills to our house to be paid, tells us how much she wants for Christmas, had FI's uncle call us and tell us she needed us to pay for her trip and then said the amount of days we offered to cover weren't good enough because she needed a real "vacation"! I was also just informed that she wants me to stay elsewhere the night before we leave for Mexico because she wants a "mother/son night" with FI! What? We are leaving for two weeks and you want to kick me out of my house the night before we fly out for OUR wedding?! And to boot? FI's father will be there with his adorable girlfriend so FMIL bought the most LOUD, awful, revealing dress for our wedding "to make him realize what he had". She left him! Uggg, so glad you started this thread! She is staying at the same resort until the day we leave too! We won't get a honeymoon bc she "needed a vacation" which happened to be the exact dates we are going to be there AND we had to pay for her! I swear she is doing all of this bc she is mad we are getting married! Sorry, just wanted to vent with you : ) Oh gosh honey I am sooo sorry! This is a tough position to be in. I do have some ideas for you on how you might make the remainder of your stay more tolerable with her there. Is your mom going? Maybe you could put her on FMIL detail…you know, offer to go shopping with her, get her to do a couple of excursions, etc, so that you and FI have some time together. That and if you talk to your TA sometimes they can put requests on your reservation that you not be in a room near your guests. This way you’ll have some buffer space between you. I know the situation is not ideal, and that sucks. I just thought I’d give you some ideas so that it might be a bit more tolerable for you. After all, you DON’T have to spend all of your time down there with her, it is your wedding. And if for some reason she expects you to be at her beck and call while you’re at the resort, just explain to her that you and FI want some time to enjoy being newlyweds and spending time alone together. That and you can also point out that she wanted a vacation, and perhaps she’d like to go out and try some different things. The worst thing that can happen is she gets upset with you, and then goes on with her “vacationâ€. I hope this helps!

It is pretty true to size. The style number was 9210, and it may still be up there but idk, because it was discontinued a while back.

Bump! I’ve got to get this dress out of my closet! Make me an offer, I won’t refuse ANY reasonable offer at this point!

Hey ladies, I still have my sand colore starfish I'd be willing to let someone use as their "something borrowed". I'm getting married here in Nebraska now, but my starfsh is myway of keeping something tropical with me on my day February 13. Let me know if you'd like to to pass Philbert (that's what I'm calling him) your way!

OMG SusieQ I can't beieve she said that to you! What kind of a person says something like that? Whatever. Some people are so closed minded when it comes to people of different body types. I think that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard someone in the service industry say to patron.

Ugh….so I was in at White House/Black Market yesterday looking for a dress to wear to FI’s cousins wedding. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, so I’m back down to wearing a size medium/large top, but my hips are still…I guess Texas is the only way to describe them. Anyways, I was trying on this really great dress, and this other little girl who couldn’t have been more than 18 years old walks out in the same thing. Okay, cool. Well, as I’m walking into my dressing room I hear her and her little friend going on and on about “that girl has a ghetto booty, she really shouldn’t be wearing that dress, it makes her ass look giant.†NEWS FLASH!!! My ass IS giant! It always has been, and that’s just my body composition. I can’t believe that women still haven’t gotten any further than judging one another based upon different body makeups. I have worked my ass off (no pun intended) to get to where I am, and not to sound conceited ladies, but I look damn good. I just think it is ridiculous that people have this almost unattainable definition of beauty, and if you don’t fit that mold to a t then you’re not considered beautiful. You know what? I am an intelligent, funny, and down right gorgeous curvy young woman, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m healthy, and my body is proportional on my now size 12 frame, so society can just kiss my Texas sized @$$.

Oh honey, it breaks my heart to read your post and to know what you must be going through. I know that there really is nothing that anyone can say or do to make you feel better right now, but I hope you can know that God needs her, and maybe it’s just time for her to go home to him. It sounds like you’ve had a very special relationship with your grandmother, and that’s a wonderful thing. Even after she’s gone, you’ll still have the memories to look back on with her. The best thing that you can do right now is to be with her at the end of her life’s journey, and to enjoy your special day, like I’m sure you know she would want you to do. She will be with you on your day, smiling and watching while you share those special vows. I know it isn’t fair for you to be having to go through all of this so close to your DW, and it really sucks. I’ll be praying for you and your family. Miracles happen! Keep your chin up!

Aww..sad day! I'll be in Chicago on the 21st. Looks like I'm going to miss this one

You want a story? Okay….here goes. My saga has continued, and my FMIL is not getting any better about being a decent human being. Update to where we are—Our DW was cancelled because everyone was backing out, finance issues, and FI’s mom being a royal PITA. Okay, that’s fine. We’re now working on planning our local wedding, church and all. FI’s mom is demanding that he give her back the deposit that his sister paid for her trip to Mexico, because after her bitching and complaining for months on end about the cost of the trip, FI agreed to pay it off for her. She didn’t have insurance, so the TA gave her a voucher to use in the future, and she still wants him to give her $600….ummm, no. It doesn’t stop there. I’m on the hunt for a new wedding dress, because the one that I had obviously isn’t going to work for a Nebraska wedding in the middle of February. FI’s mom got wind of it, and very verbally expressed that she doesn’t think I deserve a new dress, because I’m not working right now, and she seems to think that FI’s income is how we’re surviving. WTF?!? First of all our finances are none of her business, and secondly, we’re both really money conscious, so we have a buffer savings for situations such as the one we’re in. I was over at FI’s sister after hearing all of this and the dress topic came up. She immediately got all excited and started talking about how “The four of us should go find your dress.†Meaning her, myself, and FI’s 2 sisters. I told her I was going to be going with my mom, and she started saying how since my mom wasn’t paying for the dress, she didn’t need to go. OMG, I wanted to smack her. She refuses to help with anything, including paying for the rehearsal dinner, which before we had decided to have a DW she had agreed to. Now, because FI’s father passed away in May, she says that she doesn’t think it’s fair that she has to pay for the entire thing. She seems to think that all of that responsibility should have landed on FI’s dad, who she’d been divorced from for 20 years, and who she still owed several thousand dollars to for FI’s big sisters wedding. Yet she can afford to buy new Coach and Burberry bags every other week, and to take vacations to Vegas with her girl friends every few months? Hmm…great priorities. She hates everything that I have planned for the wedding, and constantly undermines every decision that I make. She’s pissed that the wedding is in my church. She says it is too far away (I grew up in a small town about 15 minutes away from Omaha) and that she thinks FI should be married in her church like his two big sisters were. She also threw a fit about our wedding colors, ivory, black, and green, and says that our wedding will look like a funeral (my BM’s will be in black and white dresses). Last I checked this WAS my wedding..shouldn’t I get to have some say in the things that I want? I’m so sick of being called a bitch, and being made to feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. The whole situation is so irritating, and I just want to scream. And before you start in with the “I’m sure she has great intentions,†kick, I just want to come out and say she doesn’t. The woman can’t stand me, and I can FEEL IT. It’s like when you walk into a room, and the person there just goes out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable? Like that. I went and was finding photos of FI for our slideshow, and she still has pictures of FI and his ex girlfriend all over the place. FRAMED! Okay, that was fine, I was thinking that maybe they were just really good pictures. Oh, no….she started telling me “Oh that’s Tina, she was such a NICE girl. I really liked her. I was sure they would end up married. Did you know that when he met you they were talking about working things out?†There is NO WAY to spin that to make it seem like she was being nice! Who does that?!?! Ugh….sorry for the novel. I know most of you have read about her antics before, but things seem to be getting worse, not better, since we moved our wedding to the US. I think I need some valium, or a cocktail, or an excorcism for FI’s mom.

Oh oh oh I think I have this! My DW was cancelled, and FI is trying to get rid of his suit! Give me 45 minutes to get him on the phone and find out what size he has! It’s a Calvin Klein linen suit from men’s warehouse, and I think he only wanted like $200 or $225 for it. He was going to sell it on ebay, but I’d rather have it go to a BDWer.