Jump to content

Uninvited Guests


Marie

Recommended Posts

One of the pros to having a destination wedding (or so you would think) is you dont have to worry about those unwanted, univited guests showing up or showing up as someone elses guest.

 

I'm from a very small town, where we all know eachother-but doesnt mean we all like eachother. The traditional wedding is in a hall- and usually by the end of the night, you have random people show up--people that you didnt like in high school, people that cause fights, people that were...say...."too flirty" with your finace etc etc...

 

The point is--we all have people we avoid inviting, and perhaps secrelty worry they'll somehow find a way to your wedding.

 

Well, we decided to go to Jamaica...so I didnt have to worry about ANY of that right? WRONG.

 

We have a total of 28 people confirmed. We only invited immediate family, aunts/uncles/cousins and our very best friends that we currently hang out with.

 

Now, theres a number of "univited guests" taging along with some of our guests....these people are people we know--but did NOT invite.

 

I understand the resort is NOT MY resort, I know anyone can go there---fine....but come on!!! These are people that we are not friends with, I certainly dont want them at the wedding, and never mind having them to hang out with us for an entire week!

 

I'm not the type ofperson to confront these people and tell them how it bothers me......my friends say to relax, who cares....ignore them......it just bothers me so much.

 

And these people who are asking others to join the group...are people we arent close with...for example, my fiances best friend's GF is asking her sister and her bf to come down......(the sister is an ex gf of my fiance.....and the first few years, she was always there causing trouble for us....trying to make me jeous...I despise her.....I want her nowhere around us EVER)...AND NOW SHE AND HER BF ARE COMIGN TO OUR WEDDING? Then theres another gf of one of my fiances friends, and she too is taking her sister along........

 

Maybe Im wrong to be venting?? I cant stop anyone from travelling....but its going to be incredibly awkward having thses "univited" guests down ont her esort, constantly with our group--and then the day of the wedding, Ill lookl ike a bitch if I dont invite them..Im just not keen on paying 55 bucks a person for people I didnt originally invite........

 

WHy am I letting this bother me so much? And what makes these INVITED guests think its ok to ask people to the resort with us.....and then what makes these UNIVITED guests think its ok to go.......*sigh*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 31
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Yes, lol..drama-seeking ex gf is EXACTKY what she is, lol....I laugh to myself kinda, about how long ago everything was now with her---we're together 9 years now, so Im talking high school stuff...its just not the point.......it's our wedding day.......shes not going to get a warm smile and welcoming invite from me.

 

I just cant believe that we're travelling so far from home to have our special day--and are still managing to get 5 or 6 uninvited guests already....and 2 of them have even called OUR group booking TA! LOL...to try and get our group rate--without even talking to us......

 

I just dont get people, period.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You could make it clear to people that while you can't decide who goes to the resort, their "extra" guests will not be invited to your wedding. Some people don't realize that there are still costs to a dw and you shouldn't have to pay for univited guests. This would at least mean you don't have to hang out with them on your wedding night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. You are not over-reacting. This is the perfect venue to vent your frustrations. It's rude and thoughtless of your uninvited guests to assume they will be welcome without an official invite in hand. I don't see why they couldn't tag along for the week's activities...and you would seem the bigger person by acknowledging their attendance. However, you do not have to feel obligated to invite your FH ex-gf to your wedding or reception. I'm sure you could find a way to forward this information to the appropriate parties well before anyone buys airline tix or attempts to book hotel rooms.

 

Many years ago, I attended a destination wedding. It was 4 days in Vegas (bachelor/bachelorette/wedding weekend). Needless to say, it was a whirlwind. Long story short, I had to bring another friend along. He was able to join in on the bachelor party shenanigans, but did not attend the wedding party. The bride simply pulled me aside and calmly expressed the financial and logistic difficulties. No harm, no foul. No feelings were hurt. Hopefully, you can get a similar message across....the sooner the better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marie,

 

I agree. It sucks that they are coming down there, but you are in NO way obligated t pay for them. $55 pp adds up really really quicky. Maybe you can have them come join you for the rehearsal dinner since that is free, but thats it. Tell your friends to explain to them that the wedding is for your closest friends and family, and that you are trying to keep costs down. Just remember, that day is about you and FO and the beginning of your lives together, so don't let anything get you down!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would say that you are causing yourself undue stress my dear. It is very simple. Your wedding AND reception is by invitation ONLY. You do not have to go into the intircacies of what is extra and whatever else becuz you do not want them there. Plain and simple. If your FI BF Girlfriend wants to go inviting the world then let her entertain them!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my god I thought it was just me...one of the groomsmen inviting his entire family. I didn't invite anyone to his wedding why would he invite poeple to my wedding, now it is an extra like $600 I have to pay for them to come. Not only him another couple who I still don't know how they made it on the invite list to begin with (we never thought they would come) are inviting friends as well. My FI and I feel so weird we invited all of them to join us at the wedding now I am regretting that...there goes my small intimate wedding of only people I know and love sad.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...