Ladies Please Don't Forget......

Ladies please don't forget to thank your guest. I just think it is sooooo tacky for people to have engagement parties, showers, weddings, ect... and not thank people for attending or showing their support. I went to 3 weddings last year and only one bride sent a thank you card. I went to a shower this year only to find out later I didn't make the wedding list, super tacky! The same amout of time and effort put into inviting people to these events should go into some kind of thank you, if they attended. With DW's your kinda asking for much more than a traditional wedding and they deserve to be thanked. I understand the favors at the wedding but that's what it is, a favor. I do understand most if not all of us here are having a DW so it may take some time to get around to doing them but please don't forget. Me and FI are staying a few days after the wedding but not looking at it as a honeymoon so I plan to do mine immediately or before going and then mail them as soon as I get home. Sorry to add to your to do list but I think it's an appropriate gesture.

Two brides didn't send you a thank you for your gift? That IS super tacky!

As for the shower vs wedding thing, traditionally the bridesmaids/mothers invite you to the shower and the bride/groom invite you the wedding. Those who invited you to the shower might not have realized that you weren't invited to the wedding, which is unfortunate, but not an intended slight from the bride and groom.

I'm totally with you on the importance of Thank Yous.

I actually had most of my shower ones done before we left for the wedding and all my wedding ones done within 2 months, but then again we had a very small wedding. But I did have 2 showers.

I agree that a lack of thank yous is a tacky, tacky thing. I've been to quite a few weddings over the past couple of years, and it is surprising, the number of people who do not send a thank you note. It is a small gesture, really - one that should be made. I have included it in my budget as a "must have", and will send them out as soon as I get back from my wedding/honeymoon.

I am a little confused by your post...are you saying you should thank people for just going to the wedding? I didn't have a real DW, a semi- DW and had quite a few people who did not even give us a card so honestly we did not write thank yous to them. We did make sure to speak to all 125 guests at our wedding and thank them for being there and let them know how much we appreciated them sharing our day.

I also went above and beyond for our wedding and did not feel I should have to then thank them for coming.

I did sent thank yous for anyone who gave us a card and/or gift.

It is very tacky of those brides who didn't send thank yous if you got them a gift.

Also its very sweet of you to say that you will get your thank yous out right away, and if you can you should, but sometimes things happen for people and its difficult to get them out, etiquette says that brides have 1 year from the wedding to get their thank yous out.

ps. I am moving this to the etiquette and to do's section. Please make sure you post in the most appropriate section.

Having a DW I sent thank yous to those who attended even if they didn't give me a gift. I was bad about getting them out. I waited until I got my pictures back so I could custom make the cards. I think I got them out in December and I got married in September. EEK.

I love sending thank you cards. I am a little strange I know but I personally love getting things in the mail and when I think about brightening up someone's day just by sending them a card it makes me happy. I realize I sound like a nerd-o. LOL

ANYWAYS we sent thank you cards to everyone but keep in mind we had about 50 people at our DW in Mexico so it wasn't that difficult to write/mail 25 thank-you's (1 per couple). I think it is a small gesture that makes people feel happy and glad they did something nice for you either wedding or otherwise! Just my personal opinion....

so what is the correct way. to send to everyone or just the ones that get you gifts

I would give cards to everyone. A lot of people say they don't want gifts, and that attending the wedding IS the gift. If that's really the case, cards should be given! Regardless, I think it's a nice gesture, and it doesn't have to be expensive so there's no real reason not to do it (unless your wedding is massive).

I completely agree about the thank-you cards. My MOH and I were having a conversation about this the other day. I think that some people get "weddinged out" and don't even want to think about wedding stuff anymore after it's done but I think it's really rude not to thank your guests.

FH's cousin got married last June and still hasn't sent a thank you card yet and it really bugs me. I think that it also bugs me because they sent out their invitations less than a month before their wedding and they had a big at home wedding. One of my BMs was getting married the exact same day and I had RSVP'd for her wedding months before but because FHs cousin was family I was still expected to go. I had to go to my friend's ceremony and the cousin's reception (FH's aunt was irked but I would not by any means miss my friend's whole wedding!!!).