Jamaica wedding blues

I am having the official wedding blues Forgive me, if I am rambling but I just want to get some stuff off my chest.

I started off with about 65 guests total coming to my wedding. Now, I think I'm down to about 20 who I know are definitely going (or at least that's what they keep saying), but deposits have yet to be paid from those "definite 20" and everyone staying staying on our resort (moondance villas) must be paid in full by March 1. The wedding is on June 20, 2009. The deposits exclude airfare. EEk!

My best friends, who are also my maids of honor (there are two of them) are now telling me that they don't know if they are going to be able to make it due to the economy. I gave them TWO YEARS TO SAVE FOR THE WEDDING! That's less than $50 a month that could have put the the side that they agreed to do happily in the beginning. They even encouraged me to have the wedding in Jamaica. They are the lucky ones who still have jobs, no large bills, no house in foreclosure, and no reason to scream about the economy since the economy's downturn has had little to no effect on their financial situation, and they had TWO YEARS to SAVE!

Everyone seems to be procrastinating about the wedding and so many try to convince us that we should have our wedding at home instead of Jamaica.

I knew that many people would not make it to our wedding because its in Jamaica, but there are so many that have disappointed us that we didn't expect and I am nervous that there will be very few people there.

Is anyone else experiencing these wedding woes?

Welcome to Destination wedding planning! You are now part of the club ;-) I think that we have all experienced this.

Just remember that this day is about you two, and that is all that matters. People will regret not coming.

yes, I am!

I booked my wedding/hotel/flights etc last February (coming from England so you have to book a package holiday). Since then, 9 people (out of 22 in total) who only paid a small deposit have pulled out due to the economy. Again, like you, they have had over a year to save money, but have left it till the last minute (last week) to pull out, therefore losing their deposit. So now we have a party of 13. Now when you have the bride and groom, 2 bridesmaids/grooms party at the front, it doesn't leave many to watch!!

At the end of the day the most important people are coming to my wedding (parents) and that for me is the main thing.

As you can see, you're not alone. Plenty of us, if not all of us, have been through the exact same thing. Just to show you that I too was in your boat, I went & found the thread that I posted back in January of 2008, 3 months before my wedding.

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t13316

And keep in mind, this was BEFORE the economy tanked!

I had given my guests plenty of advanced notice, but once it came time to book thats when I really knew who was in & who was out!

Here are some other threads that I found where other BDW brides are experiencing the same things:

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t34549

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t31301

The one thing that I can tell you is please don't worry that you won't have a large group in JA.

You will get over it and on your wedding day, you won't be thinking of those who did not make it or about having a group of 10 as opposed to a group of 30.

All that you will be focused on is you & your FI and those family & friends who did travel with you! Those will be the memories that you treasure the most!

So hang in there!

I don't know of any bride that didn't have to go through this!

Did you book as a group? Will you be out any money if these guests don't attend, lose deposits or anything?

Wow, what a quick response! Its nice to know I'm not alone. I have heard of people having 100 guests, and I was thinking to myself "did I miss something". I really want people to be there, but you all are right, the most important people (i.e. parents, brothers sisters, grandparents) will all be there. I'm such as party animal though and I wanted a huge party, but we are having a home reception so we can still party.

The problem lies here: Say we only have 5 guests staying on the resort and say we end up with 10-15 people staying offsite (a strong possibility) we can only have 5 more guests come to wedding. That's moondance's policy. We told everyone that they need to stay on the resort to avoid this, but they somehow think its better/cheaper from them to stay off site. We broke it down for them and showed them that they would be spending the same amount of money or more staying at their other chosen places once they factor in food and transportation. Moondance resort is an ALL Inclusive place and you literally don't have to lift a finger once you arrive.

I don't know, thanks for your replies ladies. I'm going to stay positive. I know it will be a beautiful day. I guess the apprehension is normal!

Make sure that you tell people that policy states xxxxxxx and that if they cannot stay on property, they may not be able to attend the wedding....

I think all All Inclusives have some sort of similar rule. I know the RIU does. I think we have 1 guy staying off property and hes handicapped so he needs to stay at a timeshare. Otherwise, I told everyone that we need them to stay on property.

I went through the same thing with those wanting to stay off site. I told them the policy(RIU requires 80% of the wedding guest stay at the resort) and that they would have to purchase a day pass to come on site to attend the wedding. I broke it down in english, on our website, and on our RSVP cards. So it was made crystal clear.

Yep, I have done the same thing. We even send out reminder emails for those on a payment plan, just in case they start looking elsewhere, but people will do what they want I guess.

My best friend had the nerve to call me selfish too. Ugh! I'm like "You had 2 years to plan. You go shopping every weekend, you go out every weekend, but you couldn't save $50 a month for the wedding of your best friend that you were sooooo excited about, and you call me selfish"

To some extent I am a little selfish, but I thought weddings were about the bride and groom? If you can swing it, I don't see what the problem is....

We are right there with you! My MOH and Matron OH both cancelled and the number of guests dwindle everyday. Just think about it this way-- you will have more time to spend with your new hubby and get closer to the guests that do come instead of being pulled in 8 milliion directions and having your wedding day become a big blur. I think your spirits will lift once you are there.