Jump to content

Self Invites


Shakara

Recommended Posts

OMG so my family is drving me crazyy!!!!!! The whole reason why we chose a destination wedding was to cut down on costs and avoid inviting my entire family because it's huge!!! Initially we were'nt gonna invite more than 15 people and my mom almost had a heart attack because I wasn't inviting people who she wanted to come sooo i made an exception and invited some more and now i have people calling me left and right asking me for info to the resort so they can go!!! I mean seriously!!!! and I can't say no... its really making me soo soo mad because the bigger it gets the less I can do with like OOT bags and reception etc. and NO ONE seems to understand. It's me n my FI paying... no one else. and we're paying for half the rooms on the original guests list because those are people who we absolutely WANT to be there so now people think if we don't pay for half their stay it's fine for them to go... but its not! and yesterday my FI ex step mom... yes EX was like soo am I invited or what to my FI so of course he felt like he had to say yes and did! So its his mom, dad, dad's gf and ex step mom.... talk about AKWARD! And today my mom called and was like I just called ur cousins in canada to let them know you were getting married and they asked for the info so can u send it? I just FLIPPED on her and then SHE got upset at ME! but i mean seriously!??!?! And THEN not to mention my dad i don't even know if he's going or not (long story) said to me the other night when I asked him if he decided yet said you didnt even have the deciency to invite any family on my side. RU KIDDING ME?!?!? i barely even know his family!!!!! and I talk to him like once every couple of months and I havent seen him in almost two years!

 

UGH i can feel my blood pressure rising.... We shouldve just eloped sad.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So...can I come? It seems like everyone else is asking if they can come! LOL. Aww I feel bad for you! I have a big family as well and a big reason I wanted to have a DW was to just make it small and intimate for the people I want there.

Have you tried to explain to your mom and tell her exactly how much each OOT bag etc is costing you and how you want the guest list to be kept to a minimum. Another suggestion is to have an at home reception and invite all those people your mom wants to invite (or your exs mom or whatever! lol)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am feelin your frustrations too! I only wanted our closest family and friends to be at our destination wedding and have all the others with us at the at home reception. One of my family members is bringing two friends with and didn't even ask me!! So with a sunset cruise, reception dinner/drinks, OOT bags that kinda adds up for someone I wasn't planning on coming. I feel like telling that person that they can pay the extra money for those people, but I just can't do it. Sorry you are going through this, and hopefully your Mom will understand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is horrible. I fully understand what you are going through. We are planning a wedding for 20 people. NO more. However, my mom starting asking me what about him/her etc. I was straight forward and said that the wedding is for US not for THEM. She suggested she would pay for additional people (gifts, dinner etc). But that's not the point. :-)..

 

Chin up hun. My suggestion is to be straight forward and say as it is to each person who asks. The only thing you have to face is the chatter after. You can't win..

 

Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sucks that you're going through this but LOTS of us here have had issues with people inviting themselves or with family members doing the inviting for us. You're definitely not alone there. The important thing here is to sit down with your FI and really make a firm decision on what the two of you want, and what you're willing to negotiate about. If you can't or don't want to handle a large number of guests then that's YOUR decision to make. Sit down with your family members and let them know exactly where you stand and that it is not up to them on who gets to come or not, regardless of who is paying.

 

I had issues with my FMIL because she didn't like how we were handling our planning and in the end FI finally had to tell her to get over it or don't come to the wedding at all. It's a scary thing sometimes to put your foot down firmly like that but you have to do what is right for you. The best thing is communication so I'd definitely start there.

 

Good luck and hopefully your family listens to what you say!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thanks for all the wonderful advice lady. Yea i just can't understand how people don't understand who RUDE it is to invite yourself to something you didn't get an invitation too... i would NEVER do that. You are all right... I'm just gonna put my foot down cuz at the end of the day it's OUR wedding. If they don't like me for it then I guess there's nothing I can do... i mean I was never that close with them to begin with... so I wouldn't call it a loss

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think half the problem with this is... is that most people believe it's soo much cheaper to have a destination wedding! That once you get there... everything is looked after for you and that because it's an all inclusive...everything is free! Well as so many of us have learned this is not the case! LOL!! I'm sure most people don't understand that there are extra cost to inviting others to your wedding!! I would be as straight forward as possible (easy for me to say I know) but it will probably cause you a lot less stress in the end?! Good luck with this!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbarnes04 View Post
i hate pressure... just be firm with them and say you are having a very intimate ceremony and leave it at that. people seem to be mad no matter what you do. sucks!
yea i hate pressure too. I've been trying so hard to please someone and i just realized that I can't cuz at the end of the day everyone is never happy and in the process i'm compromising my happiness. So if people wanna talk i'll just let them... it's whatever ya know
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...