Anyone else dealing with angry family?
Posted 16 March 2007 - 02:58 PM
Posted 16 March 2007 - 03:11 PM
I've actually been dealing with this from the Best Man in our wedding. I finally got tired of it and told him to put up or shut up--- if he wants the wedding here, he needs to start shelling out the dough to help us fund the 500+ family members we have. And if he can't, he needs to shut up because for us, this is what we want and it's also a method of budget control.
We started out just like you---- planning on going by ourselves and really liked that idea. Then, when we announced, the whole family jumped in and said ' No way, you guys aren't going by yourselves.' Every once in awhile, they will gripe about paying to attend and when they do, I just tell them, hey, if you can't afford to go, then don't. We didn't invite you anyways...
Posted 16 March 2007 - 03:12 PM
But they will get over it because it's our wedding and what we have chosen to do.
We don't want to look back and regret not having it where we really want because of a couple of people telling me we are not thinking of the family's financial situation... I have even offered to pay for some of them! Truth is, all but a handful would have to travel if we had it here in Ohio. I wouldn't be happy having it here. About half will be coming from Mexico City, the rest in the US.
So we are going to continue planning, we'll see how it goes. If we do have it in Feb08, they will have plenty of time to save.
I know there are several people on the board that have had to deal with this as well.
Good luck, we are here for you!
Posted 16 March 2007 - 03:16 PM
Bottom line, do what you and your FI want, everyone else will get over it eventually. OH and if your sister doesn't knock it off tell her she is no longer a BM.. :-)
Posted 16 March 2007 - 03:26 PM
But, think of how much worse it could be if everyone wanted to go and you had to tell them that you don't want anyone there with you. That's my fun-filled situation right now.
I think you're taking the right approach though with it being an open ended no-pressure invitation. They all have to be responsible for whatever decision they make.
Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:19 PM
Us too! I wrote about it before.. his thing is because he's afraid to fly. So, ya, let's cancel the whole thing because YOU don't want to fly.
Stick to yer guns.
My parents aren't going because they aren't "adventure people" haha. But they are cool with our decision and are happy for us regardless.
Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:33 PM
Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:36 PM
Our BM hasn't come right out and said he doesn't want to go or won't go... instead, he's more subtle with statements like, "Do you really think anyone is going to show up? I'd hate to see you disappointed" and "No one is going to have enough time to plan if you don't tell them all the expenses now" (um, hello, that's why we announced we were going away to get married 1.5 years before the actual date and told people to estimate between $1000-1500 for it!) and my favorite, "Why don't you guys just go do a JP wedding and go out to eat like my sister did? They wanted to save money for a house."
I think he's just doing it because he has another friend who is getting married in Mexico this year and he's wondering how he can squeeze in both of them. Hell, last weekend he even had his other buddy call my FI to tell him about how for their wedding, they both got 1st class airline tickets, plus hotel stay for $1800 (total for both). Ummm, right- don't think so. Just 1 first class ticket costs more than that...
Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:43 PM
Your wedding is about you and your husband. Period. The fact that you have family and friends who want to join you is great - but it is not a family requirement no matter where you get married.
Posted 16 March 2007 - 04:48 PM
Is it me, or when you give people almost 2 years time to plan and save for the wedding,it seems to make things worse. I made that mistake and it seems like people just ignore it when you say"HELLO, WE are getting married so do a payment plan to ease the financial burden" or we understand that you will not be able to make it and we will see you when we get back.